Do you remember those moments where you got agitated with someone’s behavior and rationalizing in your head what an idiot he is? Or when you were really upset with the way your mother-in-law goes about talking about you behind your back? Or when someone whom you loved is late for an important appointment you have made? Or when someone bumped into your space carelessly without even saying a word of sorry? These being the moments when you just could not understand why their demeanor can be so irritating.
But the fact of the matter is that we are irritated because we just can’t understand why they are so mean, so dumb, so careless, etc, etc. The truth is that the problem lies not in their act, but in our rational mind of trying to understand another. The issue can be resolved impeccably by noticing what is is just what is – that what you encountered are merely events or situations that happens exactly as it is. In other words if you have just accepted what is as merely what happened, without trying to figure out why, you have made peace with yourself. It is as simple as seeing each issue with acceptance of exactness and it cannot be otherwise since they have already passed and gone, though it may be a fraction of a moment ago – it is still a passed moment.
But the trouble is that the mind or consciousness is not that wise to see that what is, is simply what is, irrelevant whether you cry, shout or curse over it. Of course there is nothing wrong with it as it is a way of venting our frustration instead of keeping it to heart. But yet, the matter of fact is that we are not acknowledging reality and to justify our aversion or resentment is only to reinforce the illusion of wrongness of our misperception, thinking that there is such a thing as “should” or “should not have happened” thwarted mentality.
When we try to question the person’s motive instead of addressing our upset, we are not seeing the simplicity of acceptance and how it can just end where it begins. In fact it is our problematic mentality of imagining what the person should or should not do that affects our happiness in this moment. Each imagination or questioning another are merely a deluded way of addressing the issue since our rationalization comes from the level of our perplexity and not beyond. To have an answer at the level of our ignorance is to only breed further ignorance.
In fact it is common sense to notice that it is easier to accept a situation rather than rationalizing the situation for hours. Though that is what our heart truly knows, yet the ego part of us demands a righteous settlement of the hurt experienced. Not to realize that it is impossible to understand someone when understanding ourselves is not even a priority. Logically, how could it be possible to understand someone when we don’t even understand where or how our emotion comes to be? It will be a kinder approach when we take into awareness that what we need from any situation or event is our attitude – our attitude matters a lot to our peace. It is our misguided attitude that makes others wrong. It is also our thwarted mentality of seeing wrongness that makes our righteousness justifiable. Yet we do not realize what we are doing is simply paving our path to deeper ignorance. Do you see the importance of integrity in our home, the mind?