beyond the world

VERBATIM

20 Nov 2010 FORTUNATE OR UNFORTUNATE It was raining heavily as I pulled the car to the left lane to slow down the movement I was already travelling and the next thing I realized the brake is not working at all. I tried moving the steering wheel clockwise to its maximum to stop the car from veering towards the far left and to no avail except to watch the car moving uncontrollably towards its directiont awaiting impending crash onto the side highway bar protector. That moment everything seems to slowed down, as shared by my partner. Fortunately there are no cars trailing close behind and that there is the bar protecting the car from falling into the ditch. There is much to repair the car, unfortunately, but yet fortunate that nothing more could have happened.

Whatever it is there is constant showering of blessings into life, irrespective whether it is labelled fortunate or unfortunate as everything unfolds perfectly as an experience at its right time without much a fuss except on the experiencer’s mind. Is the flower falling any different from the flower blooming? Is falling in love any different than falling out of love? The opposites occupy life in duality at all times and to see recognize this reality is coming into peace with oneself and life itself.

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16 Nov 2010 After all been said and done, it comes back to what do I really want? Do I really want total freedom or half freedom, to mean, I still want to cling on and yet at the same time to be free. Ridiculous isn’t it? It equates to the monkey’s closed palm holding on tightly to the goodies that is placed inside the coconut which is tied to a tree to trap the animal. On one hand the monkey realizes the danger of the trap and yet at the same time it refuses to let go of what it held on. Just with one right thought – letting go of its closed palm – the monkey would have freed itself, as the slit into the coconut is barely enough for its open palm to slide through. No one traps the monkey except itself.

Like the analogy, I can’t want something and yet be free at the same time as both are in opposition with each other unless my wanting is such that it does not matter if I get it or not. Is that possible? Only wisdom can decide, not me.

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09 Nov 2010 Have you ever experienced times where you are supposed to be awake but yet the mind keeps falling back into slumber? I am sure we all do and fortunately these kind of experiences occur only on occasions throughout our lives, and not always. Imagine what will it be like if the reverse were to take place – slumber throughout the entire life more than being awake? That will be a chore, isn’t it, to keep being awake?

For one developing conscious awareness moment to moment, such reverse experience is constantly being challenged. The mind is continuously drawn towards mindlessness and to keep awake from being pulled towards the unconscious state takes enormous effort, exactly like one trying to keep awake from his own slumber. And it is a 9-5 job, 24/7, 365 days a year and definitely a lifetime commitment of keeping awake, unless one enjoys the slumber.

You may ask what’s the big deal in being conscious, being mindful? Well, for one thing, life is no longer life when I am not awake – I am simply living a lifeless life, in the midst of life passing by, obliviously dreaming.

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03 Nov 2010 I was driving home, rushing to arrive at a specific time and by the look at the heavy traffic, it may seems impossible. At that moment it strikes me, that impossibility is only the power I gave to old conditioning, replayed itself one more time. Old conditioning, by itself, has no power except a shadow of the past, and only becomes a reality when I subscribed to it. So to test out how far that is true, I project the time I wish to arrive. I saw whenever at each moment where there is doubt, a car cuts into my lane, as instant as the arising of that thought. Interesting…

Without having the need to rush (as to rush is to mean beating time) I simply trust that what I create is what I am experiencing, merely the play of cause and effect, between the mind and the world. And you guess it right… I arrived earlier than the usual predicted time caused by heavy traffic.

Coincident? Well if it is so, then I am a victim of the world, which cannot be true, except when I am unconscious. Even that statement is false as I am already creating my reality  unconsciously conscious…  . The world is me!

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