It Is Your Turn Now

It is your turn now,
you waited, you were patient.
The time has come,
for us to polish you.
We will transform your inner pearl
into a house of fire.
You’re a gold mine.
Did you know that,
hidden in the dirt of the earth?
It is your turn now,
to be placed in fire.
Let us cremate your impurities.


A Paradigm Shift of Perspective

The journey to Truth is not easy, not because the path is laden with difficulties or because it is only for the chosen few, but because our commitment to truth is not coming from the space of full integrity. We prefer to have the fish rather than to learn to fish. We prefer to move from a smaller prison into a bigger prison rather than having the wish of getting out entirely from the prison wall. We are not interested in knowing the cause and effect of our problems but rather wanting the desire to fix the problems. To work on the effect is to see the effect replaying again and again until we see the cause of our problem.

We are trapped and fed by the conditioning of our patterns. To move out from that trap needs a paradigm shift of perception, of a new way of seeing things. If we have been doing something the same way again and again and expect to experience a different result, it is tantamount to insanity.

To see the end of our problem is to see the cause of the problem. To keep fixing the problem or the effect is to keep the problem contained. Each time we give meaning to the problem we are making the problem real. Whenever we pay attention to the problem we are giving reality to the problem. Anything in life that we give meaning to, become our reality. It is a vicious cycle replaying itself again and again and there is no end to it. To recognize this pattern and to consider seeing it differently is the beginning step of moving out from the addictive cycle.

When we give meaning to the movie, we see the realness of the movie. If we give meaning to the actors we see realness in the people. When we give attention to the acting we see realness in the actions. When we give attention to realizing it is just a movie, an illusion, we see reality in that. Everything we focus on becomes our reality.  In the same way we can look at each issue in different perspectives. Each perspective gives its own reality. If we wish to come into the space of peace and freedom we have to consciously choose perspective that assists us in that direction. We have to acquire skills that lead us to it.

It takes wisdom to look at things differently. We may acquire new skills but if we do not have a new attitude towards the skill, we will be using the skill with our old habit, making no improvement from the previous. Yes, there is something new from acquiring new skills but yet there is nothing new in being. It is exactly like moving from a small prison to a bigger prison – still trapped in our old conditioning though we think we are able to move around a little bit more. We may have more money than before but that does not make us any different. We may be richer but that does not make us any wiser. There is nothing wrong to be rich if we wish to play the game of the world. But for those who wish to transcend their mind, then to recognize the nature of the mind in the midst of their richness is to bring spirituality into their day to day living.

Thus there is nothing wrong with poverty, rich, sick, good health, man, woman, anything you name it – but there is something wrong with the way we view the world – that is the source of our joy, freedom and peace.

Many are moving along this shore, few have gone over to the other side.

I Found Myself in Me

Hearing tries telling Seeing what hearing is all about
And Seeing tries telling what seeing is all about
Both tried understanding each other
And both tried experiencing each other
Except nothing closer to what it is.

As Seeing’s job will forever be seeing
And Hearing’s job will forever be hearing
Both are like water and oil
Trying their best to convey what it is like to be what they are.

We are two humans trying to convey what is in our minds
What I conveyed may not fully reflect what is in my mind
And what you understood may not fully reflect what I am conveying
For both of us have never communicated
Except our very own intimate interpretations of what we heard.

How would I then expect to comprehend what the Masters have said?
How would I know what I read is exactly what it is?
There is no way, no possibility to know
Except to take their words as a compass to my own journey.

I would never know
whether I am following the compass correctly
Or what lies ahead of me
But one thing I can be sure
That if each application brings me to joyful peace
And freer mind
I can be sure I am threading the right direction
That is all I can know

How would I know whether I am “there”?
Except to know that
When I am “there” I will know.
I can’t lie to  myself
Except to
think I can lie to myself.

And thus our journey evolves around trials and errors
And until we finally meet
Fully comprehending each other
Our pathways are forever changing and refining

Unless we held on fully to what we think is right
Awaiting “something” or “somewhere” to arrive
Even then, our time will come
For us to review
Our folly
Our ignorance of holding on

I wish you well
That someday the Truth will dawn upon you
That every error you have made
And every trial you have gone through
Is the culmination of the journey
For there is no mistake or failure
Except experiences that enrich your journey.

There is no your Truth or my Truth
For when we both finally arrived at
the Truth
You would have fully understood me
Just as I would have understood you
Not to mention understanding ourselves.

For that there is no reason or meaning
For doubt to arise
Or argument to ensue
As the journey is truly oneself.

To each its very own.

Surrendering and Mastering

Intentions are not visible, but yet can be known by me. But when I am not trained to be present to intentions, I would not be aware of its presence, I would not at all know that intention is the mover of the world. Behind those intentions are all my ideas about the world.

Where there is a desire for wanting or not wanting, I have already missed the mark of reality. I thought that by wanting, things comes my way or that when I don’t want, things will move away from me. Both are far from truth. Things never come or move away from me for they are a part of my experience. How can I take away what is in my experience? When I want something, my experience is “want”, not the something. Similarly, when I don’t want something, my experience is “don’t want’ – and again not that something. Thus anything that I project out to the world becomes my experience.

My experience is an effect of the cause of my projection. Can I do away want and don’t want and instead work on the cause so that the experience is exactly what the cause is intending? Yes and no. Yes in the sense that everything is my creation. No in the sense that so long as I want or don’t want – not seeing the illusion of this misfit – what I get is just these two. I may get the result, probably after much tussle and hassle, but that does not reflect exactly my true intention for what I intent comes with the illusion of misfits.

My effect reflects my cause. Thus what I experienced is exactly what I intended. If I intend with a want, I have to experience the want to finally come to what I want. At times I may not get what I want, as my want comes from the misfit of frustration and resignation along the way, which also culminates exactly to what I intent. I only work with what is visible, not trusting or realizing that the invisible is the greater force that is creating my experience,.

I want a parking space and I intent a parking space is a different thing all together. One is focusing on the effect and the other on the cause. One is about the future and the other in the now. When I intent, or create, I trust the process will take its course. When I want, which is also a kind of intent, but a misfit intent, I do not trust the process but try manipulating the process to fit to my want. Many a times getting into the way of the process instead of allowing nature to take place, brings me to a distorted experience rather than the actual experience.

Want and don’t want is an illusion that I took up – it placed me in a position of a victim rather than a master. When I truly see through the illusion of want and don’t want, I am ready to be my own master of creation. I take full responsibility of every experience that comes my way and for that I choose to experience what I trust to experience through conscious creation.

I can only see this greater force coming my way when I drop the mentality of grasping, of wanting and not wanting. And this is my work in progress.

Behind the Scene of the World

Just awhile ago while I was sitting in front of the computer, a thought came to my mind whether I should be blogging today. In the past I have experienced many reasons that prompt me to blog – from wanting to pass time, to wanting to share, to keep up to having a blog a day – an ego trip, to pen what is in my mind, to articulate my feelings, etc. Every one entry that is seen in this blog has something behind it, that is not seen or known by the reader – including myself, many a times. This something is the thing that is propelling me to do, to keep doing throughout the day.

I was early for an appointment yesterday and it turns out that the person will be late. I saw the mind gets agitated, restless, wanting to do something to “overcome” time. It has a meaning that waiting is a waste of time – get a book to read, probably fix the automatic car sunscreen that has stalled for quite awhile, arrgh…. should have brought the laptop to blog, the eyes moving from one area to the next, trying to look for new things to entertain itself, fingers fidgeting, body moving restlessly from one posture to the other, complaints coming up in the mind: why is it so hot here – a thousand one thing running through the mind. Is that what I am living for each day – doing, doing, doing – simply because the mind is ever restless, making meaningless demands, occupying time with agitation and frustration, camouflaged by meanings of “doing good”, “have an aim”, “think positively” – whatever it is – just do something to “spend time meaningfully”.

A couple came over last night for a chat and I saw the same incessant doing in them. It was like watching a movie, playing on realtime. It is not about the couple – it is about the mind that is finding an avenue to express its frustration. The conversation is polite, jokes, and humors but behind it all, the mind is finding ways to express its restlessness. And while observing all this, I saw the mind in me wanting to join in the “fun”. As I watch, another meaning pops up, seeking approval – just speak anything instead of being quiet, so as not to feel awkward or left out in the conversation. And many a times the stuff that came out from my mouth is not what I wanted to speak – it is just to make me feel good – to hide the vulnerability of discomfort and uneasiness arising from the meaning of “not wanting to look abnormal”. It can be a simple gesture of approval, of yes, or no – but that is not what I wanted to say – but at that point, I thought it will be harmless to flow with whatever what other people wants to hear. Just approved them and get on with life. What is going on in the mind?

Is that what I am living for each day? What I am doing to others, I am doing to myself. Keep feeding the mind whatever it wants and move on. And shucks, it accumulates each day. Each day is an understatement – it is going on and on, every second, every moment. As I step back and watch the scene of the mind, internally and externally, there is a timebomb, ticking in each and every one of us – either as a mini explosion of simply being upset, frustration, resignation or probably doing something to kill the flame like window shopping, clubbing, gossiping or many more seemingly “harmless” activities, or as a major explosions of insinuation, fight, harming others or oneself, or worst entering into depression.

Is there true happiness, or simply happiness that is defined by the proportion of bearability to the glaring mental dis-ease, hidden away from the surface of the mind? Is that what life is? When will I give time to make peace, to make freedom out of all these addictions of mind-made dis-eases?

This is my inner vocation – coming into peace with myself. Only in this peace can I give peace to the world.

Mind, the Forerunner