Into Unchartered Territory of the Consciousness

When one embarks into meditation for whatever reasons or purpose one has in mind, one is unknowingly putting herself into a new mental concept that will bring about a field of unchartered experiences. Just as medication can brings about different results to the body, various kinds of meditation techniques too can and will draw in different mental results to the meditator. One has to bear in mind that since meditation involves transforming the consciousness, one has to be brought into awareness of the long term effect and implication on the mind.

The mind is intangible and non-form and occupies the entire moment to moment experiences of our lives, hence anything that is introduced to it will have a direct implication to the way one looks at life. It changes the perception of life, sometimes entirely. Thus what one receives from a guru, a guide or a teacher would be the yardstick of ascertaining the direction of the consciousness takes. If one does not have the discerning power of questioning or ascertaining what is appropriate to his or her mind, one is embarking into an unknown territory of what may come up from the practice. It may seems like scary information to many, but the fact is that if meditation is for mental training and nothing more than that, our characters and identities would be deeply influence by the training, depending on how much effort is being put to it. It may either magnify or transcend what is already in the mind in terms of perception, feelings and consciousness. Besides, since there is a deep connection of the mind with the body, whatever effect the mind takes will also involve the body makeup to a great extent.

Coming into meditation is like purchasing a house for long term stay. Since house is where one constantly stays in, the nature of the house would have a direct influence on the owner. It was said that an easy way to gauge a person’s  character is to look at the house setup in terms of shape and cleaniness of it.  It tells much about who or what the person is. The nature of the mind is what tells us about the person. When we explore the character traits of another, we are, to a certain extend, knowing the mind of the person. How we view them also tells much about our mind. Hence, the meditation effect done to our mind, will either bring about ignorance or wisdom to our lives. It will be difficult to gauge that but one thing can be sure – if the practice brings about more self righteousness, more grasping and stresses, one has to review whether the technique is being misunderstood or the training itself is not appropriate to the specific mind, at least for the moment.

Thus it is a valid good practice to first checkout and review the type of meditation training one is interested and its effect it takes by enquiring and reviewing with long term practitioners of that particular training. Again bear in mind it can be a subjective evaluation since each of us have different minds and inclinations, the result of the practice too will vary from one individual to another. There are many types of meditation practises in the “market” and one just needs all the guidances and blessings and good judgments to take on the training, which hopefully, will fulfill the dire need of one’s needs and also improves the quality of living, of relationship with the world and beyond, and of perception.

One last note to bring to mind is the path the consciousness takes. Whatever direction it matures into, cannot just be undone overnight. Of course if the practice yields good result there is nothing to be undone except to bring the practice into full gear. The investment of the practice is not without risk taking, more so when one takes it on without proper guidance and observation of a skilled guide or teacher. Thus it is either wisdom that will carry you safely further or ignorance creating havoc in the process. All best regards!

Wasted Time Doing the Impossible

Do you remember those moments where you got agitated with someone’s behavior and rationalizing in your head what an idiot he is? Or when you were really upset with the way your mother-in-law goes about talking about you behind your back? Or when someone whom you loved is late for an important appointment you have made? Or when someone bumped into your space carelessly without even saying a word of sorry? These being the moments when you just could not understand why their demeanor can be so irritating.

But the fact of the matter is that we are irritated because we just can’t understand why they are so mean, so dumb, so careless, etc, etc. The truth is that the problem lies not in their act, but in our rational mind of trying to understand another. The issue can be resolved impeccably by noticing what is is just what is – that what you encountered are merely events or situations that happens exactly as it is. In other words if you have just accepted what is as merely what happened, without trying to figure out why, you have made peace with yourself. It is as simple as seeing each issue with acceptance of exactness and it cannot be otherwise since they have already passed and gone, though it may be a fraction of a moment ago – it is still a passed moment.

But the trouble is that the mind or consciousness is not that wise to see that what is, is simply what is, irrelevant whether you cry, shout or curse over it. Of course there is nothing wrong with it as it is a way of venting our frustration instead of keeping it to heart. But yet, the matter of fact is that we are not acknowledging reality and to justify our aversion or resentment is only to reinforce the illusion of wrongness of our misperception, thinking that there is such a thing as “should” or “should not have happened” thwarted mentality.

When we try to question the person’s motive instead of addressing our upset, we are not seeing the simplicity of acceptance and how it can just end where it begins. In fact it is our problematic mentality of imagining what the person should or should not do that affects our happiness in this moment. Each imagination or questioning another are merely a deluded way of addressing the issue since our rationalization comes from the level of our perplexity and not beyond. To have an answer at the level of our ignorance is to only breed further ignorance.

In fact it is common sense to notice that it is easier to accept a situation rather than rationalizing the situation for hours. Though that is what our heart truly knows, yet the ego part of us demands a righteous settlement of the hurt experienced. Not to realize that it is impossible to understand someone when understanding ourselves is not even a priority. Logically, how could it be possible to understand someone when we don’t even understand where or how our emotion comes to be? It will be a kinder approach when we take into awareness that what we need from any situation or event is our attitude – our attitude matters a lot to our peace. It is our misguided attitude that makes others wrong. It is also our thwarted mentality of seeing wrongness that makes our righteousness justifiable. Yet we do not realize what we are doing is simply paving our path to deeper ignorance. Do you see the importance of integrity in our home, the mind?

Return to Surrender, with Wisdom Love

My friend recently commented that she is loving her new found life where she is freed from her past habits of calculative spending, freakish control over events, and manipulative scheming to be safe. She is becoming more conscious of her mind, more ready to surrender and more able to trust deeply. She also notice there is a deeper integrity to respond to situations instead of the habitual defensive reaction that she used to do in the past.

It is very difficult to understand or even perceive how could it be possible to surrender entirely and trust all will be taken off.  Many of us comes from learned perception of the need to strive, to control and to get what we want, and to go against that principle is unimaginable and incomprehensible. Yet if one were to realize all those principles were mere learned perceptions rather than ultimate reality, one could not help but to find ways to slowly break that notion and find new ways of living.

Consider that all our thoughts, speech or actions are motivated from perceptions of deep seated ideas unknown to us. And when we are not aware that they are merely ideas reinforced over years of beliefs, we will never question its validity and open up to a potential way of living life differently. One may dispute that the reality is such that everyone is doing the same hence it is an empirical truth and also that when one goes against that norm, repercussion is inevitable as always. That is exactly what ignorance does to perception – reinforcing what it experience from the past without further exploration why it cannot be otherwise.

One of the main reason to this is that we are never thought to address the cause but instead to change the effect. We try to change life by changing what we are doing, yet if our mindset is not change, what we do differently will not have a different effect in our lives. We have not been told and given the right information that the life we lived now has much to do with our mind, our consciousness, our perception. We have not been shown and hence not realized that we are constantly motivated by what is within our mind. Many a times our mind is motivated by fear instead of love. Whether it is fear or love, both are merely ideas deriving from perceptions. It is not that, one is better than the other. What we do not realize is that each has implication of varied experience of opposing degrees. Fear attracts lack and love attracts abundance. One is about depreciation, the other is about appreciation.When we come from the perspective of fear, probably unknown to us, we have no choice but to experience lack. Lack or fear are merely results of ideas we have never questioned in the first place. When we don’t notice this reality and vehemently tries to change what is outside through frustration or stress, we are merely going against our ideas instead of transcending them. Whenever we go against the mind, we are reinforcing what is within as nothing within the mind can be pushed away except to be noticed and realized. Only through realization can we see the folly of our beliefs and hence open up to change. Change of perception leads to change of action; it doesn’t work on reverse order. We can’t change the effect except from realizing the cause. Without the cause(s), effects cannot take place.

Imagine what can happen when your inner cause is love, motivated by wisdom. A world of difference awaits you as you are merely experiencing what is within the mind.

Blessed Encounter

of blessed Sufis
of tombs where what needs to be done
have fully being accomplished
of end of journey where no return is so clear
of renunciates steep in silence and inner search
of teachings flavored with love and peace
of a life so well worth respecting
of a journey praised even by the gods
of witness a path worth following
as I stayed in stillness
of a Master well revered
whose tomb of the Sufi laid in rest
I am being transported to a memory
of another great Master
whose days were numbered
seated at the hospital bed
where eyes met me with penetrative clarity
and in that moment
it seems, there was only one meeting
of great silence and great clarity
of merging of peace never before felt
here I am with no preconceived ideas
being in reverence
a merging occurred
an experience of mind
whose cankers seems to have finally overcome
won in battled that never was
returned back to the Unconditioned
waking up at dawn
a sense of serenity filled the air
where inner silence takes precedent
immerse in sweetness of peace
of love that has no object
but simply Beloved, not even the Lover
and for a moment entralled by the hot air balloons
floating up to the sky in uncountable numbers
a reminisce of freedom away from the cankers
never returning again to the illusion
of the world
Cappadocia, TURKEY
25 July 2012

Where Money seems (not) to be the Issue

When it comes to money matter, the importance one gives to it is not the form it takes, nor is it the denomination. Not even, strangely, the value attached to each note or coin, but rather the value one gives to it. I may not entirely represent everyone’s perception over this subject, but one thing I can be sure of is that, the consciousness, a universal nature of its own, can be seen, explored and understood from an angle where everyone may be familiar with, albeit unknown to his or her own experience at that moment, until awakened to it.

As we explore and understand deeply our relationships with any objects of the world, be it a relationship with another fellow human, or a relationship with our career, money, health or materials like house, car, phone etc, we are looking at a common ground how our own consciousness is dealing with it. Our attention of most time is towards the object of consciousness rather than the consciousness itself. “Consciousness” in this context is the mind itself, the knowing mechanism whose function is to keep contacting with objects, having objects as its own knowing, thus creating what it knows of a reality out of it. In other words, mind and the object which it latches onto, becomes an inner impression of perception we are all living with, albeit our entire lives.

One can say object of the mind is what that is known by the mind. Thus, to each specific moment of experience, it will be true to say the only experience there is, is the knowing mind, or consciousness, and the object or known by the mind.

experience = mind in contact with object = knowing and what is known

The word “object” denotes the inability to know itself except known by the mind. When our consciousness comes into contact with any object, without exception, which includes another mind, that object which our mind picks up does not has the capacity of knowing itself. Strange as it may sound, the object that the mind latches on, is, but an impression, of its own perception. Knowing mind and perception comes together in unison, with feeling as its effect, thus making what comes into contact merely an object of impression and relatively, an experience.

In other words, the mind cannot fully or truly know what is outside, except its own meaning given to it. Thus, I cannot really know you except my mind’s meaning of you. The meaning my mind gives to you is all that is, within my sphere of experience, sad to say, of each moment. I only experience what my mind is doing, not you, not anyone for that matter, for the mind that I have is merely a projection tool, like the metaphor of a spectacle where the image of clearness or blurriness stands at its mercy.

What my mind has when I see you, is what I am experiencing about you – I don’t experience you all the time except my mind experience. If my mind has a peculiar programming of beliefs, I will see you in the eyes of that belief. I cannot see you other than that without my mind coming into picture as seeing will not have taken place at all – for “seeing” is the mind itself! Bizarre isn’t it? In brief, I am already-always witnessing the mind ALL the time, without my knowledge. Because the mind is a power tool of projection, hence I thought what I see is outside me – it is a big time conspiracy! It is the same for all the senses that I am experiencing.

So I am subjected to the mind’s game all the time. Hence, if you are one of those hungering for money which the mind is making you to experience, you would have missed the point of what it is at that moment. You think it is money that you want. And you think it is the value of money that is what attracts you. And so you keep chasing after it, scheming, planning, conspiring how to get closer to more money – all these are done real time of the mind, from the mind, by the mind and not to mention, in the mind, too. All these motivations depends on what programming your mind has. The value of the mind, is the value you see on money, not the value of money itself. Even that is what the mind gives! Hence it is a game of self-cherishing, self-fulfilling, self-perpetrator, in a loop upon loops, strangling its own agenda. Apply these to the way you relate to your relationship. Big time!

Thus my journey, or your journey, is only one – to be awakened to the subjugation of the incessant play of the mind game. Not that the world is to be avoided, for that is impossible, as the world is the mind itself. Neither is it to stop doing anything but to just be a bare witness to the mind – to be awake to each relationship between the mind and any object apparently outside of itself; be it money, career, or anyone for that matter. When you are awake to the mind, witnessing the mind, within each now, the past or future is totally irrelevant, even unreal to you. That witness, that wakefulness is your closeness to what many have awakened to. You may call it God, Love, Enlightenment, whatever. Let not those concepts blind you but lead you to a direction you can finally arrive at on and of your own.

The worth you give to this is worth many more times than the worth you give to money or relationship, for when you resolve the unresolved, you resolve everything that is in your life.

Perception: Disorder Syndrome

I think you are physically here
I’ve got it all wrong
I think you’ve left me
I’ve got it wrong too
you were neither here nor there
neither present nor have left
Except storylines churned out by the mind
of clever perception twisting reality

I think I am here
I’ve got it wrong too
I think I can one day die
I’ve got it seriously wrong
I think I have to be reborn
I’ve got the meaning wrong
if I am not here
not to mention there
where then is Now
with all its meanings of Past and Future
cleverly scripted by perception
of deception made real?

I never lived nor died
never conversed, never met
never born, never aged
never waited, never slept
never, never, never met the world
except the meaning of world within
even that is not true
except orchestrated by perception
played silently
with no one watching
no one cheering
no one clapping
no one crying
no one..
not even one, here,
except sculpted cleverly by perception

no thoughts to shoot
no ideas to remove
no beliefs to burn
no hate to churn
no anger to vent
except to witness
without a witness within
witness doing its work
recognizing, realizing, awakening

Until then,
I see you
I see myself
I am here, you are there
you will leave
I will be lonely
I will feel betrayed
I will feel grief
I will, I will, I will
… remember…
meaninglessly meaningful

Dynamics of Forgiveness, not even that

My teacher once heartily laughing pointed to me that we don’t eat, or rather, we can’t really eat “chicken” or “duck” or “beef”. If you are not familiar with the mind you will definitely be perplexed by what he said. On the same note, you can’t touch the floor. Nor can you see a “man”, a “woman”, a “dog” or anything with a name attached to it for that matter. Confused?

You can have a direct realization on this subject by trying out a series of experiment. Close your eyes and let your hand feel the objects around you. Observe how each object that comes into contact with your touch has a name accompanying it. For example, you may touch a pencil, a keyboard, a remote control, the table, etc – bearing in mind that you can’t touch the meaning of those object. Then advance further by touching more objects where you may not be familiar with – potentially you may not have those kind of object around you at this moment. But give yourself a moment to ponder upon this – when you touch an object that you are totally not familiar with, will you know what that object is, with your eyes closed? You will not. You can only able to touch the texture, the hardness, the sensation – in brief, basic nature of that object. Touch function is all that is – that touch does not have a name of that object.

Hence, when you touch the so-called floor, that meaning “floor” is not what your touch can do for you. That meaning is a separate function given by perception. You either only touch hard or soft – you don’t touch “floor”. At that point of of experience what you experienced is touch+meaning, or more accurately touch+perception. If until now you get where I am leading you, you will start to realize what it means by thoughts make projections real. When you see what your legs are touching on, the meaning “floor” is not “out there” underneath your foot. It has never left the consciousness where that idea came from – it remains in the consciousness as a momentary thought – but you don’t realize that in your daily seeing. Your thought projects it out and makes you think there is an outside – there a “floor” – it is just a meaning or a label from the mind, in the mind, of the mind – all done by the grace of perception. What about “chicken”? Ha ha. Its all in your head, so to speak.

“Nothing I see in this room (on this street, from this window, in this place) means anything.”
– ACIM lesson 1

As you look around carefully, all the things you seemingly know – everything within the periphery of your sight has no meaning “out there” except “in here” within the mind. There are no meanings “out there,” hence meaningless as it can be. Your clever perception conjures it all out, to the minutest meaning. In fact, you are living a world of your own meanings, to each its own. You have never, never, left yourself except bounded by meanings over meanings, overlapping each other, conjured by the function of perception in your mind.

The someone “out there” that “left you” is simply an idea, a meaning of a memory flood of perception. Perception churns juicy glamourous storylines out of each moment of idea and that is what you have to face – over and over again, thinking it has something to do with out there. No one left, no one came except seeing. A little out of the function of seeing, is the beginning of your story – a nightmare, a happy dream, whatever. You have to experience those meanings trapped within you since beginning of time until you get awakened by it. Betrayal? Reflect upon it. Hurt? Look into the abyss of your consciousness – you will see the beginning and the end of your problem. If you don’t see that, then forgiveness meaning is necessary – but the blatant truth is this: forgive others for the wrong they have not done (ACIM). And this brings you back to your very doorstep. You have to open that door alone, all by yourself, only to realize Love, stripped from all meanings, is all that is. Until then, “Love” is just a sweet idea of perception, a meaningless meaning.

My inner journey matters to me dearly. Your inner journey matters to you only. Until we realize that we never met – we are merely meeting ourselves, over and over again, life after life – if ever there is such a meaning. When we realized, awakened, we meet with love, with peace, with compassion, not for the sake of the world, but for our own and with that I see you from that light and you will see me who I am, in the mirror of your own mind.

Only then the Kingdom can be experienced on this earthy temporal plane, albeit still just an illusion…