Do you realize that in any given situation, irrelevant whether you are sure or unsure, wise or ignorant – the decision you take or make, is always, to you the best? When I say the best, I take it to mean that it is exactly what you think is best for you at that point of time, irrespective whether it is beneficial or detrimental to your well-being or not. It is only after that situation that you ponder that you should have done it better. What you think later and what you did is entirely different matter all together.
Now we think it is good to exercise and each morning when we decide to do it (or not), the choice that we finally made is always the best – it is best to go back to sleep, it is best to wake up, it is best to give it a shot another day – whatever it is, that’s exactly what is best for you.
If you truly see this truth that is constantly occurring in your daily activities, you will choose not to beat yourself up for what has happened is what you know best for that moment of time. It may be an event of a quarrel, or a big sweep number you choose not to buy but later came out as the winning stake, or a decision that brought about anguish and pain, or a job application, or to defense or to attack. Or when you wish to be sexually intimate with your spouse and the reply is a “no” and whether your reaction is resignation, bitterness or probably take steps to understand him or her, or even scolding him or her in your head – whatever…. you are doing your best! Whether you call it decisive or indecisive reaction or respond, all the choices you made is your very best as you know no other better ways of doing it at that point of time.
As such there is no such a thing as mistakes. Mistake is a sentence or judgment made on what has happened and it nails you to the past of guilt, shame and pain. The last thing you want is sentencing yourself to doom but that is exactly what you always do – nailing a coffin and keeping yourself imprison in your own created walls. You can only learn something through wise retrospection, but not by judging or condemning it. Bitterness only makes you stop repeating the action which you perceived as wrong but it surely does not stop you from the same kind of attitude that, in the first place, causes you to choose. All your actions are merely effect of the cause of your mental attitude, which in reality is the thing that you need to address.
There are always a constant stream of shoulds in our head and observe that the shoulds are the cause of our stresses and upsets. Shoulds are ridiculous and violent by nature, as it is simply wishful thinking, expecting what is done can be undone. We wanted it to be undone because we thought it was not the best choice we have made. That’s totally untrue as we always choose what is best for ourselves after much scheming from the data bank of our memories.
Recognize that each choice you make at any one point of time comes either from your defilement or wisdom (ego or holy spirit) and that determines your regret or rejoice. And also recognize that you can’t simply call up wisdom (holy spirit) when at that point of time what you are going through is indecisiveness. In the space of dilemma, stop choosing. Even if you finally need to decide, recognize that you are choosing from the best you could only know at the very moment and let nature takes its course. All effects, whatever they are, are always a learning point for us, only if we wish to learn from it:)