I begin to observe that I never chose out of the box. In truth I can never choose out of the box. The “I” is the problem, not the choice. Each time there is an “I” attached to the choice, it will forever choose from the box. For the “I” only knows how to choose from duality. It doesn’t know how to choose otherwise as the operating system is limited by its own programming. Like what one meditation teacher puts it – the fan only does two things – either it turns or stop turning. It knows nothing other than that.
The mind works the same way. It never goes beyond duality. It is a lifeless machine, so to speak, conditioned by duality. It can never think out of the box. For it knows no other way other than black and white, good and bad, this and that, front and back, above and below, know and don’t know. That is all it is. Nothing new, nothing unique, except the same old game of choices from duality. When I go beyond the form, beyond materiality, what is left is the same old stuff – the mind choosing aimlessly, on a merry-go-round trip, swinging from one end of the pendulum to the other, never getting out of it. And that is what choice is to the “I”.
I may say my choices make me who I am today. But who I am is no different from anyone else except my interpretation or meaning of status, fame, role, possessions. But isn’t that what others have in them too? My ignorance only made me think that I am better than them. But how could I ever be better than anyone when the choices that “I” make leads me in the same kind of situation like anyone else – I still have to experience hunger, sickness, old age, and finally death. If I don’t get this true fact into my head I will always feel I am either better or worse off than others. I can never win this game – as this game is limitlessly limiting by nature – just the duality of existence, a tireless game that has no ending. It is like playing the broken record over and over again, oblivious to the fact that the recorder can be switch off. We let the recorder play, and play and replay again, over and over for meaningless time until we wake up from it.
If “I” can get out of the way, surrendering myself and allowing trust to fill in the gap, what could life be? Have you ever tried? Obviously many failed and gave up, as the ego is just too impatient to allow nature to take its course. It brings up fear in you and force you to imagine that this,* is a wrong way of living. And that is the worst thing we can ever give to ourselves for we don’t allow any opportunity at all for a paradigm shift of experiencing out of the box. We nail ourselves to doom again, falling back to the so called choices of life – which in reality is no longer a choice but simply a trap.
Invite yourself to take the leap of faith – go to the very edge of the ego and just… fall. Play this game and observe what could arise in your space. There is nothing to lose as either way you are back to doom anyway – the ego trap.