beyond the world

Never mind the refund. Not even lodging a complaint. In the very first place, I didn’t even ask to be in this amusement park without having an end to it, where I can walk out as freely as I entered. Neither am I aware that getting my way out of this park is another game [...]

While driving back home from a function last evening my eyes caught on to a rear sticker of a car that read “forgive your enemies”. For a brief moment, I pondered on the silliness of that statement. Not that I am judgmental about what others have to say but rather after long being with the [...]

What begins, needless to say, has to continue, unless being interrupted. What has not been interrupted will continue to develop and transform, or mutate, and have its end result based from the original cause and what comes along with it. It is a determined path, a path that has all its prerequisites of what it [...]

Slipping Through My Fist
I have drifted down a ways along the shoreline,
I just watched these ropes give way
where they were tied.
I could have reached out quick when the ropes first
slipped, if I had tried,
but I was wondering where the wind was trying to take me
overnight, if I never did resist, and
what strange breezes make a [...]

My intention seals my own outcome, irrespective what the world offers in return. In other words, my end is my beginning. If my intention of giving is for the sake of a return, my outcome will be expected – returns. My intention here is clearly not of giving, but returns, except using giving as a [...]

It is rather strange how the spiritual journey turns out to be …
a completion of sort,
a full cycle,
and yet gone nowhere
neither here, nor there
but yet everywhere.
There…
Here…
Ere…
Re…
E…
…
(poof!)

Do I have a choice to choose a path of joy, instead of pain, to tread the spiritual journey as advocated by many new age calling for spiritual awakening? Can I be merry and enjoy the very best of life and yet at the very same time be spirited on the masters’ path that brought [...]

There is a field,
Not here, not there, not anywhere;
And yet it is here, it is there, it is everywhere,
within you, within me,
without you, without me.
There is a field;
beyond bodies,
beyond personalities,
beyond you,
beyond me.
Only convergence;
where separation or non-separation is meaningless,
where distance or distant-less is unknown,
where form or formless, is not a question.
neither this nor that
for it [...]

I was at the coffee shop one of the past mornings, forgetting that this place is favoured and haunted by many as a favourite gourmet choice, be it breakfast or lunch. The tables were full as usual so both Lai Fun and I were hunting for a place to squeeze ourselves in. After waiting for [...]

The mind, more often than not, has confused itself by making information as realization. There is a vast distinction between both and to recognize their salient characters needs the eyes of wisdom. Information is knowledge whereas realization is wisdom. One is merely an intellectual understanding whereas the other is a spiritual experience, a state of [...]

When I like or love someone, what is it that I am liking or loving about that person, to the effect that I want to be closer to that person, or even needing to possess him or her? But, as usual, more often that not, upon longer interaction or relationship with that person, I would [...]

Finding your deepest truth means looking within. It means not blaming other people, not playing the victim and not spending time feeling sorry for yourself. When you look more deeply at any situation, you can always see that you set it up for your growth. In any situation you feel you were a victim you [...]

I see similarity of denial taught in A Course in Miracle with the Buddha’s teaching on moha, or ignorance. To ignore is to deny what is already in existence and thus creating a whole entire web of delusion of “I”.
What I deny I project
All projections are denial. And all denial results in projection. When I [...]

Upon reading Paul Ferrini’s article on Inner Authority, it came to my realization that a major number of upsets that I have each day; projected mainly upon someone or something else, other than myself; has much to do with my non inner authority.
Within a day I was able to see how much integrity I actually [...]

Let’s be clear. Being your own authority does not mean being an authority for anyone else! It just means that you don’t let any one else become an authority for you. Everyone is free to choose, including you. And everyone is responsible for the choice that he or she makes. How else could it be?
Many [...]

I find the mind intriguing, and yet, baffling. Nothing has come near to comparing the capability of the mind, its weirdness and its potentiality. When I refer to the mind, I am referring to a nature rather than something that I am learning to comprehend. In terms of nature – it is not something that [...]

An idea is all it takes to start a dramatic soap opera, be it a nightmare or a happy dream. Not just one idea, to be exact, but rather the first idea that sets the motion of a series of other connected ideas along with it – the entire retinue of cast, so to speak. [...]

Through many a birth
I wandered in samsara,
seeking, but not finding
the builder of this house*.
Sorrowful is it to be born again and again.
O house-builder! Thou art seen.
Thou shalt build no house again.
All thy rafters are broken.
Thy ridge-pole is shattered.
My mind has attained the unconditioned.
Achieved is the end of craving.
- The Buddha
samsara: cyclic birth and death
* Builder [...]

From personal observation and experience, the Spirit, Wisdom or Essence, whatever you may call it, never left me; not even once, not even a breath of a moment. Not like stories of the old where I hear about “have mercy God, why have you forsaken me?” – for God, or Spirit, or whatever name I [...]

The green dot – is it real or only exist in your perception? Do you see it growing?
Can you really trust what you see?

Each moment of experience bring us to make a choice that is to either respond or react; in other words, based from right or wrong perception.Right perception is one that is based from wisdom, a learning that we have understood or realized from the past. Wrong perception is a conclusion that is based from ignorance, [...]

Imagine a situation where I am unsure whether to speak or not to speak, to share or not to share, or to keep quiet totally. What would be the cause of action that will bring me to make the right choice? And even if the “right” choice is made, I may find myself landing in [...]

The betrayal of the Son of God* lies only in illusions, and all his “sins” are but his own imagining. His reality is forever sinless. He need not be forgiven but awakened. In his dreams he has betrayed himself, his brothers and his God. Yet what is done in dreams has not been really done. [...]

Ever come across a situation where we are enraged by what we read in the news and at that brief moment of upset vented our anger, wishing that the perpetrator be sentenced to heavy punishment, suggesting death sentence or even torture as a way to compensate what he has committed? The anger may be expressed [...]

Through inquiry, we discover how attachment to a belief or story causes suffering. Before the story there is peace. Then a thought enters, we believe it, and the peace seems to disappear. We notice the feeling of stress in the moment, investigate the story behind it, and realize that it isn’t true. The feeling let [...]

Doubt is healthy and yet can be a serious setback to any spiritual journey, more so when one’s journey is merely at the stage of an initiate and the task given in hand is to trust fully and to surrender the doubt. Yet ironically, the opposite can also to be true – that trust or [...]

The mind seldom chooses; it judges. I was in the park this morning, walking and thinking a lot. There were sporadic moments where I caught myself thinking where I brought myself back into the moment. It happened a few times and suddenly it dawned upon me that I was making a judgment out of my [...]

To end the bizarre tyranny of ego is why we take the spiritual path, but the resourcefulness of ego is almost infinite, and it can at every stage sabotage and pervert our desire to be free of it. The truth is simple, and the teachings are extremely clear; but I have seen again and again, [...]

Like it or not, the direction our lives move toward, is in tandem with the influences of what others speak or act. Behind the façade of an act and what is spoken, is found the origin of thoughts, of emotion, of consciousness – in short – the mind. Not one physical action can come into [...]

I came across my friend’s entry Follow or Not to Follow this afternoon and that draws me to share this entry on the all time favorite topic – anger. On this note, I am reminded by a paragraph which I just read this morning from the book What Makes You not a Buddhist, given to me [...]

So paradoxical, but then again here is another from my dear inner master J:

The followers said to J, “Tell us how our end will be.”
He said, “Have you discovered the beginning, then, so that you are seeking the end?
For where the beginning is, the end will be. Fortunate is the one who stands at the [...]

It is not a special day, nor is it another usual day. Neither is it religious nor mystical.  It is an ordinarily simple day for commemoration of what a human endeavor can potentially arrive at – the state of awakening from the illusion of life, in short, enlightenment. It is so ordinary that nothing can [...]

Do you realize how we imitate one another a lot, all the time? It is not a conscious choice – it is part of the way the mind works. I’m sure you do observe very frequently that whenever someone around you yawns, you could not help but yawn too, unless you are conscious of the [...]

Personality: persona = mask (Latin)
Am I a fake? Living behind a mask of pretense? And if “I” is defined by a personality, does it mean to say that I am living a life of an actor, unreal and untrue? Am I playing many roles at different moments to mask me from what I truly am? [...]

The heart is like a garden.
It can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love.
What seed would you plant in it?
I observed with interest that when varieties of emotions are asked to be spelled out in a workshop, the list of negative emotions named by the participants usually outnumber the positive; it is as if there [...]

To recognize ignorance is the beginning of your journey “Home”. To be precise, it is the beginning, the middle and also the end of the entire journey towards freedom. What block us from total freedom is just the one and only thing – which in reality is not in existence, except our ignorance over it. [...]

Despite our personal intimacy with our mind – the only space we feel at least private about, we seldom give time to ourselves to explore this domain to understand how it works. Many a times the experience we want to achieve is either random, flip shot, or a wild goose chase. Rarely are we able [...]

There are words spoken to defend
A view that one felt being threatened
There are words spoken to attack
For a view that one held defensively
There are words spoken frivolously
To ignite conversations to escape boredom
There are words spoken insidiously
To incite gossips out of jealousy
There are words spoken to occupy silence
when quietness is not appreciated.
There are words spoken meaninglessly
Out [...]

“I am” has no Me in it except Meanings
Isn’t it mean to put a meaning that means not “me”?
What is passion? To my idea, the word “passion” has a connotation of sensuality in it. I never questioned how this idea was derived until now. As I schemed through my memory bank, I “saw” this [...]

It is amusing to observe the people coming into my life as I sit quietly listening to the conversations they have with me and also the conversations they have with others – the inner chatter that each and every one of us carry as we exchange words now and then to complete what needs to [...]

The word “relate” (re + late) is to mean to connect with what has just immediately past – to refer to the previous, prior to the present moment. Do you know that we can only be aware of something after it arises, not concurrently or otherwise? We can only be aware of anger after it [...]

I could not resist but to seek permission from Geraldine aka GG for her permission to allow me to include her recent blog entry here as one of my favorite readings that points me to Truth. I trust you too will benefit as much as me. Love.
Stories, am I?
http://journalingtruth.com/
Who I think I am, therefore I [...]

If you know how to swim, I want you to imagine yourself climbing up an old tree that has a huge branch overhanging a beautiful lake and when you are right at the edge of that branch, take a deep exhilarating breath, and plunge yourself into the lake – letting go off all needs to [...]

Lai Fun lamented that during her recent meditation retreat in Myanmar, she observed her ability to listen to her teachers’ recorded talk from her walkman was at a tuned volume level of 3 whereas when she was back here in Malaysia, even the level of 5 seems an impossible feat for her to listen clearly [...]

When one begins shifting attention from outward observation to inward, the landscape of reality changes from being an observer to being observed; from seeing the world to seeing oneself in the mind. The observer is now being observed. The subject and object experience is no longer separated as inside or outside. The duality of both [...]

He began his journey thinking that Desire has to be killed
Irrelevant whether it is material, food, money, sex or relationship
Only to find out bitterly that nothing can be removed
Except to be understood.
Then he went all out to stop himself from being Angry
Being drummed repeatedly that Anger is a serious sin
Only to find out later that [...]

Yesterday morning a heavy downpour interrupted my plan for a walk up in Mont Kiara. Nevertheless we went ahead after Lai Fun suggested that we could walk anyway, with an umbrella – indeed a brilliant idea. Unlike the huge crowd that usually throne to this hill on weekends, today’s scene was deserted with only a [...]

It’s either I am awake or I am not.  I am not referring to the conventional awake state when I get out from my sleep, though that is a precise metaphor of what I experience when I am awake. You see, I can be asleep in my wakeful moments, drowning myself in thoughts instead of [...]

The world is done
I am done with the world
The me is done
I am done with myself
Whatever bickering
Found in the world
That bickering is found in me
And I am done with it
Whatever chattering
I find in the mind
Let that chattering come to me first
Instead of being let loose to the world
So that I can be done with it [...]

Ideas run our lives. Without ideas there is nothing to say about ourselves. If we were to keep ourselves open to awareness of the stuffs running in the mind we will be able to observe the many ideas that make up the meaning of life. That which can be observed as a conditioned state arising [...]

How we relate to the world is the way our relationship is with ourselves. Our reaction with the world is exactly mirroring the way we react with ourselves. Our perception of how the world is treating us is merely our imagination. In reality we can’t change the world as the world we perceive is our [...]

It is interesting to observe that whenever we love someone, we love the “body” more than the inherent qualities of a person. You may beg to differ but consider what happens when the person whom we love leaves us. If we are truly appreciating the qualities found in that person we know for sure that [...]

Truth is not something I can think about. To think, is to miss the Truth. Truth is beyond intellectual rationalizing, beyond concepts, beyond words. Ironically without all these, Truth cannot be conveyed. Here lies the heresy – when Truth is being conveyed, like the finger pointing to the moon, whoever takes the Truth, takes it [...]

It is important to distinguish between the two, or else the dynamics between the student and the teacher can be implicated into an egoic journey rather than one that nourishes the soul. The journey of the teacher is to teach and the teaching can only comes through what he has understood and experienced.
A good teacher [...]

There is a strange unexplainable phenomena occurring in everything across the board, including the universe. It has been proven by quantum physics that everything is in constant flux – there is not one thing that can exist even for a fraction of a moment as the instant moment it arises, it perishes, and to arise [...]

The you whom you think is you is not you.
The you whom you think is you is just a bundle of thoughts.
The bundle of thoughts whom you think is you is just a condition of ideas.
The condition of ideas whom you think is you is just a meaningless concoction.
Put together to create a meaning of [...]

This sentence fascinated me since I was very young and it has moved me to seek and walk through many pathways and methods to get closer to this thing call “Truth”. It did not cross my mind during that time that if I really want to know what Truth is, I had to at least, [...]

Spiritual enlightenment can be a BIG word to many. Big because of either not truly knowing what it means or big because the meaning given by a higher authority makes it either too lofty to reach or too complex to comprehend. More than that, along the years the meaning of the words took on numerous [...]

I begin to observe that I never chose out of the box. In truth I can never choose out of the box. The “I” is the problem, not the choice. Each time there is an “I” attached to the choice, it will forever choose from the box. For the “I” only knows how to choose from duality. [...]

It is about choice. Not the kind of choice of which to choose when I am being given something. Neither is it about which road to choose when I come to a crossroad. Nor is it about a dilemma situation which I am forced to choose. In truth, there are no choices in all this [...]

It doesn’t sound pleasant when we hear people telling us that whatever we do we are doing it for ourselves. It gives us a meaning of selfishness and ill-intent when such words are directed at us. I may even retaliate or defense myself if I am told that way. But the truth is… I am [...]

Is the movement clockwise or counter-clockwise? Observe a little more longer and you will see how your perception changes. Are we choosing what we want to see, or the mind is conditioning us what to see? Do we really have a choice? What about the things we see around us – is it real? Or [...]

Whenever I am being triggered, compelling me to defense or attack, right at that deepest core of that mind is found the unworthiness experience. When I said “triggered” I am not only implying negative stimulus. It can be a loving experience resulted from a praise or an unpleasant experience arising from a statement – [...]

Deep appreciation to my friend, James Lam, a non-compromising seeker,
for introducing me to Jed’s work.
You can find Jed McKenna’s writing at http://www.wisefoolpress.com/

There is a difference when I say “mind your own business” and, “mind my own business”. Language wise, both statements seem to refer to two different subjects, but in reality they are the same. If I were to tell you to mind your own business, I am actually telling myself to mind my own business, [...]

I was on the phone the other day with my friend who has just came back from a long holiday. She shared an intimate personal experience where she observed a strange dynamic occurring between herself and her partner. On days where her mood is down, the other seems to be on his jovial trip and [...]

Spiritual relationship is not for the purpose of holding each other together, but rather as a mean or tool for us to come to our beloved. Our beloved is not about someone “out there” we loved but rather Love itself that is hidden from us by the falseness of the ego.
Spiritual relationship acts as a [...]

What is Love,
other than  infatuation, wanting and needing?
Love has no opposite as I was told
If this is true
Love will be my ultimately goal.
I am sure the love I am knowing
Is not the Love the Masters shared
What then is Love?
Infatuation leads me desiring more
Wanting gets me hoping for
Needing makes me thirsting roar
Jealousy patiently awaiting all.
If I [...]

The www, in short for world wide web, is literally, non existence, though it seems virtually real. It is not something tangible I can touch or feel except what I can visually comprehend on my laptop or pc monitor. Every information that I upload into the web comes from my thoughts and perceptions, a gathered [...]

To come to the Truth, the universal truth with the capital “T”, we need a total overhaul from the way we perceive things, in short, life. I am not referring to “your” truth or “my” truth, which in reality is just a bundle of ideas, but rather Truth that is beyond the [...]

It makes sense that if I wish to get out from this illusionary dream of birth and death, in short, the egoic realm of existence, I can’t apply the tools given by the Masters in a very superficial way, seeing the form rather than the essence. It is like playing the game of hide and [...]

Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson

This is funny and delirious. Both myself and my wife take oats for breakfast practically every morning. There are times when the mind got tired eating oats, and anything – yes, anything edible – that comes our way will be a respite from the “boring” routine of just oats. And [...]

I am not hearing from one, or two or a handful, but I am getting feedbacks from a number of people that life seems to be getting more and more meaningless to them. And there are even some who think they are going through a mid-life crisis. And guess what? The parking bays at one [...]

Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
Blogger’s Note:
If I value form, I may be blinded by his actions and judge therein.
If I value essence, form does not mean anything to me.
Whatever it is, if judgments come within me, the process of forgiveness is necessary
I am entirely responsible for it.
If I am not willing to see my own shortcomings,
That unwillingness [...]

When you say or do anything to please, get, keep, influence, or control anyone or anything, fear is the cause and pain is the result.
~ Byron Katie
Whenever I am pissed off, the latest being yesterday, I could see the familiar trail the ego takes to finally culminates itself in upset. It begins with wanting [...]

The path to salvation, to liberation, to freedom, is a gradual path. Though there are rare cases of “instant enlightenment” as experienced by contemporary masters, yet upon deeper observation, many of them goes through a long period of depression before they come to awakening. The trigger obviously does not come from depression, as if that [...]

It is your turn now,
you waited, you were patient.
The time has come,
for us to polish you.
We will transform your inner pearl
into a house of fire.
You’re a gold mine.
Did you know that,
hidden in the dirt of the earth?
It is your turn now,
to be placed in fire.
Let us cremate your impurities.
- RUMI

The journey to Truth is not easy, not because the path is laden with difficulties or because it is only for the chosen few, but because our commitment to truth is not coming from the space of full integrity. We prefer to have the fish rather than to learn to fish. We prefer to move [...]

Hearing tries telling Seeing what hearing is all about
And Seeing tries telling what seeing is all about
Both tried understanding each other
And both tried experiencing each other
Except nothing closer to what it is.

As Seeing’s job will forever be seeing
And Hearing’s job will forever be hearing
Both are like water and oil
Trying their best to convey what it [...]

Intentions are not visible, but yet can be known by me. But when I am not trained to be present to intentions, I would not be aware of its presence, I would not at all know that intention is the mover of the world. Behind those intentions are all my ideas about the world.
Where there [...]

Just awhile ago while I was sitting in front of the computer, a thought came to my mind whether I should be blogging today. In the past I have experienced many reasons that prompt me to blog – from wanting to pass time, to wanting to share, to keep up to having a blog a [...]

What sound?
Is there necessary an answer?
Will there be an answer?
What if there is no answer?
Is it a trick question?
Or is it just a statement?
How can there be a sound of one hand clapping?
What kind of question is this?
The sound, whatever name I call it, whatever label I put into it, whatever countless questions I attest [...]

It is in the non-specialness is specialness found. Anything that is special is merely a facade of “what’s in for me” – a lie the ego tells to entice me to seek further. My egoistic specialness is usually found in my focusing on the future, an effect that may or may not exist. My attention [...]

An untrained mind is inclined towards craving, the incessant wanting and not wanting. Whenever I am not mindful, not aware of the now, the nature of the mind is always about the past or future. And each thought about the past and future has either expectations or guilt in it. When I think about something [...]

Desire and the Importance of Failing
…
A window opens.
A curtain pulls back.
The lamp of lovers connect,
not at their ceramic bases,
but in their lightedness.
No lover wants union with the Beloved
without the Beloved also wanting the lover.
Love makes the lover weak,
while the Beloved gets strong.
Lightning from here strikes there.
When you begin to love God, God
is loving you. A [...]

It is interesting that a friend of mine sms-ed me, commented that I sounded bored with life as reflected in the last two entries. Yes, I have to admit that life is a little boring. “A little” is an underestimation. Probably I am the only one around her who is bored with life.
But hey! Isn’t [...]

hiding in this cage
of visible matter
is the invisible
lifebird
pay attention
to her
she is singing
your song
- Kabir -
I wake up each morning to a new day, except that there is nothing specifically new to each day. The daily chores of waking up, meals, work, relationship, bills, money, health, then back to sleep again – plagues my whole entire [...]