What a Wishful Thought!
Posted on 23 August 2011 | No responses
try as I may
to make sure
the world will not affect me
but like it or not
the world is already affecting me
do you not see?
for the world and me is not two
not separated as the body seems to show
but only one dance of movement
to and fro in tandem
for without me the world does not exist
let me ask you this
can the mind not contact?
for if there is no contact,
what then is the use of mind?
it will not be called mind
for nature of mind to arise
is to contact
and where contact arise
hence feelings too come to be
whether pleasant, unpleasant
or at times neutral
is not all these already affecting me?
like it or not
the world already affecting me
only a hundred percent all the time
so wish as you may
that the world is not affecting you
what a wishful thought
a false pretence
that you live alone
for even in the far far away jungle
in the darkness of the cave
yet that cave is already affecting you
or else you would not have chosen it.
so?
live with it instead of leaving it
understand it instead of resisting it
for the mind and the world
is inseparable
for it is merely one
not even that
as existing it may seems to be
yet the mind is merely a mirage
a momentary plague
of dreamless dream
hello
i peep at the world
seeing my beloved
or worst, my enemy
yet in that moment all is done
a connection so deep
that i am not even aware of
and yet i thought
hmmm… i am not affected
what a lie, what a dance!
Bounderless Boundary
Posted on 19 August 2011 | No responses
I am defined by my own experience. You too are defined by your own experience. Not that there is a “me” or a “you” in the experience, but rather “me” or “you” equates experience of each moment (experience = me). Experience of each moment defines my boundary – to mean it is only uniquely for me, not for you or for anyone else for that matter. And the meaning of boundary as mentioned here is not a kind of border or privacy that I am creating or protecting, but rather boundary as a field of experience that is constantly taking place. My spiritual job, or even your spiritual job, is to clearly recognize our own defined boundary, else whatever that is not ours becomes our own. That too is not exactly correct for how can it not be “ours” when we are already in contact with it?
In truth there is no “your boundary” or “my boundary” simply because when I say “it is your boundary” I am already experiencing that meaning in my field or space, hence it has always been mine. Thus so long as you are giving meaning to my experience, it is actually yours to behold and vice versa. No matter how much you would like to define me, you are actually experiencing it, except 100% fullness all the time. Hence what you or I define in every moment is merely our own personal experience. It has never left me or left you. Do you get where I am coming from?
When I respect your boundary, I am meaning to say, “my respect of your boundary” is actually within my sphere, or field of experience, hence my own boundary. On the same note, when I am critical, judging or defining you, all are actually occurring in my own mental boundary, though in outward physical form it seemingly looks like I am making you wrong. But if you were to take on what I said, again that becomes your own boundary simply because that becomes your experience now. Do you now see experience is your boundary, irrelevant whether it is something that you sense outwardly or inwardly?
For that matter, you are your own experience, no more, or less, but perfect all the time. There is nothing wrong or right with whatever experience occurring in your space as it is what is already occurring here in the Now. It is only perceived wrong when one does not want to take integrity for what is being experienced – but think of it again – how can it be otherwise since experience is “me” and in your field, is “you”? I can only be sure I am lying to myself or playing an ignorant game when I do not admit that experience is what all I am at that point. How can it be otherwise?
Am I able to step back, so to speak, and acknowledge all the experiences in my formless boundary as what is being experienced all the time and to realize that not one of any experience stays even for a brief moment simply because nothing lasts – it only seems to last because I held it in ransom – either by resisting it or holding on to it ignorantly. Regardless of which it is in mind, everything still passeth by beyond my ability to control. Sit back, relax and you will experience unfolding of conditionings, effortlessly, coming and going… Only then, undoing is possible, the end of bondage is not too far – not there or somewhere in the future but here, except, all the time.
Only You (Me)…
no you no me
not you not me
except mind
colliding with objects
arising as experiences
hence
defining “you”
defining “me”
whatever experiences
as of the mind
so long as in your field
is yours to claim
for how can it be otherwise
since “you” or “I” for that matter
is mind?
so stop fussing
stop refusing
stop rejecting
stop interfering
even
stop stopping
and
realize
what is here as experience
is simply a passing experience
neither good nor bad
but nature coming and going
irrelevant
you want it or not want it
like it or not like it
for what has it got to do with experience
as it unfolds and unfolds
and yet unfolds again
and yet again
ceaselessly
carelessly
until
feeding it not
a natural death
it takes
and
behold
all
ends
until then
you
and me
responsible for it
not the experience
but our relation to it
for that is where
the merry-go-round
continues
or
ends…
Any Realness in Reality?
Posted on 21 July 2011 | No responses
Wherever attention is placed is where reality begins. Reality here means believing in the realness to what I am experiencing. If my attention is at what I am seeing, what I see becomes my reality – I will see the floor as real, the plane I am flying as real, the news I read or the movie I am watching at the cinema - the seat, the screen – everything as real in my own experience. If I see my loved one as sick, I can’t deny she is not sick as that is my experience of reality in my space. If my attention is on what I am hearing, what I hear becomes my reality. Obviously this so-called reality is across the board for all my other senses as well. The question to this reality is that is it really real as in ultimate or real only for me at that point of my experience? Is my reality governed by my mood or even perception? What about the inherent views or ideas within each of us – does it also mould the way I look at things? Seldom do I question the realness of this so-called reality since everything I experience is tangible and verifiable by my senses; more accurately, by my mind.
Hence the equation is such: Attention given to any object = experience = reality = belief
There is a serious implication to this equation since whatever we attend to is what ultimately make us believe as real. Our attention seems to be the source of our reality. It has been found years ago through scientific experiments that the brain can never differentiate, say a so-called real ice-cream held in the hand, and a thought about ice cream in the mind. Both have similar neuron reactions, to mean an imagination is as real as any other reality that I would define as more real – there is no hierarchical differentiation. My attention to what I am holding physically and what I am thinking of the same has similar reality, though in the real world both seems to be different.
If that is so if I am attending to my thoughts, what I think – be it past, present or future – becomes my reality. I will not be aware that it is a thought per se, a so-called memory that arises and ceases away immediately, but will take it as my reality playing at my doorstep now. If I think about a hurt event, that event is not just a thought – it is a reality playing out in my field of experience. Do we ever wonder whether in term of mind experiences are there any difference between thought, imagination, hallucination or fantasy? We think there is but in actuality there is none since whatever that is thought off in the mind are merely mental projections.
The question here is not about thoughts – it is about attention – the unquestioned attention at any one moment of time. Would you dare to questioned yourself honestly that all the attention given to the world is a created reality – a conditioned reality based on whatever is in the mind at that point of experience be it feelings, perception, views etc? We would have missed a big chunk of a puzzle if our focus is on thoughts – thinking that only thoughts are creating our imaginary reality. It is a a-little-too-late-moment to catch of what occurs prior to that – attention.
Hence my so called reality is what I am attending – if I am attending to the hearing experience, my reality is the process of hearing whereas if I am attending to what I am hearing, my reality is the storyline, the sound that plays up the meaning of pleasant or unpleasant. Not that one reality is more real than the other; but one reality defines the mechanics of hearing, whereas the other defines what comes up in the hearing – the conceptual part of it. Both attention will have different result in our field of experience.
What about stepping a little further to the cause and observe (also to mean “attention given”) the “attending” attending to the hearing and how in the hearing the meaning of sound has been given reality? What would the result be? It is for you to guess and for me to realize:)
The cue is this – when you get a little closer to the “source” the field of your reality changes. Will there be an end to it? Meaning to question the possibility where reality ceases at the very very beginning source of everything or is it merely just a mad cyclic cause and effect that cannot be differentiated except an unbreakable cycle of illusion?
A Now Experience, Yet Ancient
Posted on 18 July 2011 | No responses
not that “I am upset”
but rather conditions promotes arising
hence nature of upset ripens
not “I”, or “you” for that matter
as behind it all are mere causes and effect
taking on its own course
from results of past
not comprehended
not understood
and ignored
replaying one more time
on its own
without me doing upset
but upset doing me instead
hence if “I am upset”
do give me space and time
to remember again
that in truth upset is doing me
though ignorant to this
i am seemingly upset with you
and until I wake up from it
do patiently love me
for who I seemingly am
for I cannot be otherwise
until wisdom comes arising
and if any case you are upset with me being upset
do remember too that your upset
is not really yours but rather
upset upsetting you
probably conditioned
by what both of us
have done
unresolved
unmet
unheard
of ancient guilt and pain
coming back with patterns
that look so familiar
repeatedly triggering
each other again
hence let me be reminded to be wise
in my space of upset
and offering love in
your space of upset
remembering it
as opportunity for forgiveness
of undoing whatever knots
that has not been resolved within
projected outward many times
of ancient lifetimes and rebirths
coming back again
alas
that includes too whatever longing
that I have for you
for each attachment has guilt within
coming back to repay what I thought I need to resolve
of lies upon lies ignorance deceived me
until I fully wake up
that love beholds me to love you
without conditions attached
without repayment of any sort
unconditional
boundless.
Insidious Insider
Posted on 11 July 2011 | 2 responses
the work of mind
consciousness perception feeling and mental formation
coupled with Delusion
creates multiple views
so subtle
yet potently insidious
like one tiny virus in a system
once crept in
will multiply
spread
infiltrate
mutate
changing everything in its way
so as to hide itself
for reasons to exist
in oblivion
to the host
“I am”
is not you
but a mutated view
deeply entrenched
in self preservation
of what is past
unquestioned
taken as real
transformed to belief
becomes “I”
many a lifetimes would have passed
probably ten
or fifty
or hundred
or even
thousands
to wake up one day
and realize
what is real now
that refers as “I”
is devoid of self
except an empty shell
of devious old programs
dubious it can be
rerunning itself
fed by how your old ideas
relate to it again
it does not matter whether
the object is something
you like or don’t like
though both reaction may look harmless
yet as insidious
as it can be
the way you relate ignorantly
is where the program runs
and how you relate again
keeps the program going
hence to come back forth
once again
and again and again
and yet again in memorial times
to re-experience
the old pattern insidiously
until wisdom
awakens to it.
how long since have we repeated?
we can never know
how many times have we come back to meet?
was never the question
for what is more urgent is the question
are you awakened
to the program
running the “you”?
Only then the dream ends
and you are brought back to Zero
whatever it means to you.
Missed the Cause, Missed the World
Posted on 8 July 2011 | No responses
The world is an effect. What I experience are all end products that cannot be altered or changed. Hence what I hear, touch, feel, see, smell, taste or even any mind experiences are all outcomes, that is. So? What implication or impact does it have in my life? Lots.
Where there is effect, there are bound to be causes. In other words, the outcome of our experiences are resultant of unknown causes that we are not conscious or aware of that “forces” us to experience what we have to experience. If happiness is our experience, we have to experience happiness and if sadness is our experience, we have to experience sadness – exactly what we experience is what we have. Yet when we experience happiness we do not realize many a times the causes which lead to such effect is what make us happy. We may think it is the food we are eating or the money we are making, or the relationship we are in that is making us happy; if that is true, obviously we can recreate that experience and feel happy again – by eating the same food again and again, or making money repeatedly or even mimicking the relationship situation to feel happy – yet and yet, we already know repeated experiences do not give us the happiness – but strange enough, that is what we do anyway albeit in the know!
We try mimicking those events thinking that it is the event that helps to unravel the key to our happiness, but they don’t. Obviously the world does not give us happiness. If it does, anything can be objects of happiness, whether it is big or small. Again the world is an effect and hence, what causes us happiness, or even unhappiness is occurring in the mind and that is what we are not aware of. We are not aware of what is going on at the mind level of that time and make conclusions that the experience we are having at that point is the cause of our experience.
In the same way when we are seemingly mad or upset with someone, we are not exactly upset with that someone as the feeling of being upset itself is already an experience within us, churned out from what is going on beforehand in the mind. That person is a scapegoat, a victim of our error, so to speak.
Similarly when we experience ‘aha!’ moments in our spiritual journey, we do not realize how those ‘aha!’ moments came to be and we try to create those ‘aha!’ moments again or even try putting those ‘aha!’ moments into practice, missing the point that those ‘aha!’ moments are ripen results of the prior conditions set for it to happen at that point. In other words, where there is no condition for it to arise, no matter how we mimic or make those experiences happen, we can’t possibly get back what we have experienced before – we are merely barking at the wrong tree, not realizing that the world we experience are merely effects of a greater mystery that we have yet to understand – causes at the mind level.
And again when we see someone happy – we do not realize that person’s happiness is a result of causes occurring in his mind that that we are not seeing. Somehow when we do not see those causes have in mind meanings like “I should be happy like him”, “why am I not as happy as him”, or “he should not be happy” – we try mimicking it or worst, make judgments at the effect not realizing that what we see is a deal done.
Obviously when we don’t understand how our mind works, we also can’t understand the world. We will try to fix, imitate, judge or be jealous of what is occurring in the world but each time we do that we are merely moving in a circular entanglement, trapped within a merry-go-round of repeated error – now you would understand why you are back to square one again in this dimension of existence; never left, never begun.
***
nothing comes out of nothing
for all things has its causes
arising as effects
manifested as experience
we call the NOW
the Now
merely a brief moment
yet constantly another now takes over
so seamlessly as if permanency is real
and experiences unbroken
yet behind it all
at all times
a mystery unknown
churning, accumulating
causes
that brings to us
a world of experience
of what we feel
be it from touch, see, smell, hear, or taste
not to mention
thoughts that keeps popping up in our minds
we see not what we are unknowingly creating
of intentions brief arising continuously
of which causes are created
leading out as experiences
that we hold onto so dearly
unbeknownst
what is more true
is our intent
and here barking at the wrong tree
all the time
we chase after the world
thinking it is “there”
that happiness is found
or running away from the world
thinking too it is “there”
unhappiness is found
yet
the real world is so near
yet so far
found within the mind
the creator of the world
“out there”
who to blame
what to blame
where to start
where to end
except the mind
the end of existence is seen.
I can have, but I don’t need, to have
Posted on 4 July 2011 | No responses
What I am
is what I have
irrelevant whether I need it or not.
Need was never once in the equation
except a delusional meaning
of which when left unquestioned
becomes a burden for suffering to ensue.
As you can see
what you have is already here
irrelevant whether you need it or not
And what you don’t have
is also already here too
as your experience of not having.
How else can this be far from Truth
to be manipulated or fixed
except a senseless thought of need
a deception that cries misery
of untold sorrow and grief?
Your experience was never once
separated from you
for what you have is who you are
and what you don’t have is also who you are
how else can that be
each time as it unfolds
except an insane mind
wishing it otherwise?
Needing it otherwise
is merely a wishful thinking
a momentary madness
of wanting what is not in space
and not wanting what is in space
creating an imagination
that is only real to the beholder.
Do you not see
what is already here
is an experience of the mind
existing in the mind
of the mind
never once, beyond,
inseparable, undifferentiated?
You are defined
by your experience
and needing something
is defining an imagination
that is not met at this moment
a hunger of displeasure
that only makes you feel painful.
What then would you consider
to experience a having instead of a need
that it is merely a conjuring intent
of wishful thinking
having the thought as your experience
surrendering that if it ever happens
as a reality in the near future
it is exactly what you have
and if it does not happen
it is also exactly what you have too
for you can’t have more than
what you are
nor can you have less than
what you already are.
For they are all
defining perfectly
who you are!
Until you see your own limiting thoughts
of perceptions deeply rooted from the past
of ideas that makes what is unreal real
you will never see the prison
that you have set yourself upon
an unknown wall
barricading your freedom
that was not meant to be.
Recognize Need as your beginning of suffering
See Need as it arise
not as “I need”
but rather Need needing you to fulfil its need
distancing you from the reality of Truth
Look at Need into the eye
and say I am seeing you as you are
without needing Need to go away
for that only perpetuate Need to stay.
Just be awake
to Need’s presence
and you would have done nothing for it to leave.
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