Month: April 2010

How we relate to the world is the way our relationship is with ourselves. Our reaction with the world is exactly mirroring the way we react with ourselves. Our perception of how the world is treating us is merely our imagination. In reality we can’t change the world as the world we perceive is our own, thus making our relationship intimate – ourselves. All our emotions are found right here within ourselves – the world or the stuffs in the mind are merely a show, expressing who we are, by the way we respond to each experience. Happiness no longer needs to be sought when we finally understand that what we have been trying to seek is found in the way we relate to ourselves. In short, our way of relating to ourselves is either from the space of ignorance or wisdom.

We seek for happiness outside simply because the way we relate to ourselves does not generate the happiness we wish to have. We are rarely at peace with ourselves because the ideas that we have taken into our system are in contradiction with the natural flow of our beingness, of nature. Like a boat moving upstream against the flow of the river, we are in constant conflict and battle with ourselves to come into a balanced state of living. We seldom question why we are in an unsettling state. We ignore what we have thrown into our system which causes this upheaval.

There are calls of yearning from our inner soul but the plea is ignored because of the power we have given away to the norm of our society. We sell our soul just to conform to what society require from us. Taking a step back and question the meaning of life is not something we are trained to do. We probably may not even know there exists such possibility.

And that is how it begins – a child is being forced to conform to certain situation, irrelevant to the cry of reluctancy or to the desire to be understood –  just for the sake of feeding someone’s need. Overtime, the child lived for others rather than for themselves. Aren’t we, to a great extant, a byproduct of someone else’s need? Their needs can be found in our attitude, character, personality or even career. Due to long term programming, we become lifeless to our life – we live unconsciously in an unhappy state that is not in sync with our beingness – our primordial state and inclination when we begin this very life. Everyone thinks that their need is also another’s need. And we are all enforcing each other with our ideas – a byproduct of our unquestioned life – forcing what we believe is true unto others.

Seldom do we pause and inquire whether what others do unto us previously is encouraging or impeding our naturalness to be wise. As human we are given the ability to discern but rarely do we utilize this ability and thus subject others to walk the same fate as us, imposing unconscious guilt upon them. Our unquestioned mind leads us to think we are right.  Are we ignorant or innocent in this sense? Are we subjugated to what society wants from us or do we have a life that is far more than just conformity and routines?

And as we mature into self-discernment, we start inquiring from within what kind of relationship we are having with ourselves that allow others to dictate our needs. We no longer point fingers at anyone but instead come into taking responsibility of our own actions – the very relationship that we have allowed to eat into our core system which has made us feel ideally useless and ignorant – ignorant to the fact that we do have a choice of living differently, not by rebelling or reforming anything on the outside but through introspective journey of questioning old ideas and beliefs that are no longer beneficial to our well being.

It is about a journey of self-discovery where peace abiding is our naturalness, where we can never be controlled by another; except our allowing others to do so. We can never be in bondage unless we allow ourselves to be so. It is about the way we give our power away, the way we do not take a responsive act to the pattern the mind is taking.

Thus to wake up to the reality of our lives, we have to start wherever we are, the journey of awakening to what is within each and everyone of us – questioning honestly what is it that our soul is desiring and yet not allowing it to be surfaced in our space. And to come clean without pointing any finger at anyone except to see the ideas that we have trapped ourselves in is the first and an important step to freeing ourselves from the bondage of misperception.

It is a mandatory journey for all of us to come into our trueness but the time for us to initiate this journey is up to us. The earlier the journey is taken, the possibility of entering into a life where we are true to ourselves is ever possible. For we are the director of our lives.

It is interesting to observe that whenever we love someone, we love the “body” more than the inherent qualities of a person. You may beg to differ but consider what happens when the person whom we love leaves us. If we are truly appreciating the qualities found in that person we know for sure that there is no possibility of owning that someone since those qualities are not found in the body except the mind and as such is irrelevant to hold on to him or her physically.

On the same token, when we dislike a person, we wish for  that person to get out from our sight. We are meaning to say that we don’t like to see the “body” around. But are we not aware that regardless of whether the person is around or not, we have now only to deal with what comes to the mind – the upset that we took on. Seemingly it may looks like our upset increases each time we see the person but really, he or she is merely a trigger of what is already in us – in other words our memory is the thing that haunt us. We may have observed that we have carried our anger with us for awhile now whether we see that person or not. What then has it got to do with that person’s existence?

If we really want to deal with our anger, we have to stop giving attention to the “body” out there. In fact it is because of our attention towards the “body” out there that continuously feeds our upset. We are rarely aware of that due to our own ignorance. We see that it is the “body” that is making us angry.

There was an incident over lunch where a father told his daughter that their dog had acted stupidly over a certain event the other day and the child was quick enough to reiterate  that it is not the dog per se which is stupid but rather a specific attitude that the dog has acquired to which was what her dad abhorred. Now that is indeed a wise observation!

Are you aware that the mind works according to where it is directed? If you direct it at the body, you will see goodness and badness in the body. If you direct it to the mind, you will see it in the mind. For instance, if your attention is given to say, a guard – your opinions about him will be as a body rather than his attitude. Yes, we normally dislike a person for their attitude, but we don’t get that the attitude has nothing to do with the body. We clump the attitude as an action of the body rather than an effect deriving from the mind. We don’t see the fact that his attitude is what we are questioning, not his role as a guard. In this way we can deal with him easier rather than seeing him as wrong. It is the same as the dog and the father scene.

Most of our unforgiveness comes from directing at the body rather than the mind of another person. Wars are fought because of bodies. Religions are separated because of bodies too – my teacher is better than your teacher. Relationships are affected because of bodies – the ownership of it. Ultimately to direct our unforgiveness at other’s mind is also a misperception – barking at the wrong tree – as the house on fire at that moment is our mind, not elsewhere. Unforgiving state has to be addressed as it is without targetting to anyone else including ourselves.

The way you experience and feel about yourself is not determined by those around you. It is determined by how you look at and think about them. If you look at a situation as wrong, it has to follow naturally its own path of discomfort, not because there is some kind of a higher force that you are subjugated to for punishment but rather a natural effect of what arises from misperception. Right perception, right effect. How would you know whether there is a misperception? When you are in pain.