25 August 2010. A different country, a different attitude. And the cultural shock is an opportunity for forgiveness to take place. More often than not, wrongness comes into the picture first, followed closely by blames and judgments. Only when right-mindedness comes into present, that all these are seen from the perspective of love, of forgiving oneself and others for what they have not done, as what was seen were merely projections from the perspective of the ego, of the unawaken state – of perceptions that were conditioned by the past.
I was waiting in queue with others in the group at the Ximing train station for the coach to Tibet to arrive anytime. We purposely took the initiative to line up earlier at the gate so to escape the last minute hassle of pushing and tugging in entering the train platform, which we earlier heard was reputably notorious for messy rush and inconsiderate line hopping.
True enough, when the train was about to arrive at any minute, locals just came to the front and squeezed themselves in to be at the gate. Horrified by their attitude, all judgments come into reign. What I learned in the past about forgiveness was totally gone in my presence. All I experience was separation of bodies that were seemingly threatening my peace, and my righteousness of what they should and should not do.
So easy is it to forget the call of the spirit for Love’s presence, of forgiving and letting go. The more I see myself in this way the more I see the urgency of the practise of awareness of what is going in the mind, moment to moment. The purging of my old deeply ingrained ideas need to be addressed. Not purging as in changing my attitude right away as that only tantamount to resisting what is in me, but rather in recognizing with wisdom the unprofitably of such mentality that would subject me to constant suffering and disease.
Wisdom is key and wisdom is not something I can merely create. Only when I choose to see things from right-mindedness, can wisdom arise within the mind. And that takes a sense of inner responsibility of what is already going on here in the mind instead of projecting what is out there away from the mind.
And if you were to ask me what gain do I have in visiting Tibet, I would say it is another journey of forgiveness, just like any other journey that I have taken, within my vicinity. No doubt Tibet is a nice place to visit; in fact, a reminisce of some sort, of many past lives of being a Tibetan; but that does not heal my past if the journey is just for the sake of entertaining my ego, of knowing who I am in the past. What is past, except a memory that holds no meaning of wisdom or understanding or even freedom?
As I sat in the bunker bed in the train, I could not help but be thankful and appreciative to those who came along in the journey, and to all the benefactors who made this journey possible for me; from financial support to all kinds.
To them, all my prayer of love and deep gratitude.