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Drunk in Illusions

I stood in the world and found them all drunk, and I did not find any of them thirsty. They came into the world empty, and they seek to leave the world empty. But meanwhile they are drunk. When they shake off their wine, they will open their eyes.
– Yeshua

In my day to day living, or more precisely, moment to moment relationship, I observed a particular distinct pattern the mind has that I am inclined to – almost predictable. Things that I like, and things that I don’t like. Things that I consistently do to attract attention, and things that I do to avoid discomfort. Things that I dare to pursue and things that I have yet to overcome. Things that I deceive others, and things that I try impressing others. Things that I yearn and things that I abhor. I lived like a predictable magnet, attract and distract from the poles of experiences. So predictable are the experiences that I become master of it, so I thought. Or have the experiences mastered itself so much so that I am simply led by it? Like the simile of the owner and his dog –  who is leading who? Where I am coming from makes a difference.

All these are happening in my mind – like a shadow following me – so familiar and trapped! Many a times I caught clear glimpses of deception, betrayal and conspiracy going on – not on someone “out there”, sad to say (no pun intended) – but over and over again, towards myself. When I am not aware of these stuff, the end result is always about someone “outside” there who caused me all the pain, discomfort and upsets. This is insanity of the highest order – expecting someone to take responsibility of my own madness which I am oblivious to. This reminded me back of the statement made by the same spirit – you are not upset for the reason you think it is.

It is a mystery to recognize that these are the things I have been living with, moment after moment, day after day, year after year, and probably life after life, if it does mean anything. Until I bear witness to all this experiences I am like a drunkard, living a life of mediocre, or can I truly call that life? I lived, led astray by these conditioning, never having the thirst to inquire deeper its meaning.

Who am I? What am I? How did I landed myself in these patterns? Why? These are the probing questions that invoke each and everyone of us towards the discovery to the mystery of oneself. And yet, this journey can be forest of roses, or, thorns.  It can be another journey of drunkardness, if what I seek comes from blind beliefs rather than wise inquiries.

When they shake off their wine, they will open their eyes.

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New Year?

Is it another cover-up of what exist?
Or a repackaging of what is “old”?
Am I veiling deeper what I am not ready to face?
By tricking myself a new fresh start?

I am not spoiling the “new year” (if only there is one)
For the mind has seen it all
An ancient game
Created new again

Liken an old house
A new coat of paint spread

So is the mind
Recycled
Reused
Refresh

Nothing new
Except an old house
Waiting wearily
to be falled

Awaiting the dawning of freedom

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To Know or not to Know or Unknown?

I was reading the book Bearing Witness by Bernie Glassman this morning and came upon this statement – As soon as we know something, we prevent something else from happening. When we live in a state of knowing, rather than unknowing, we’re living in a fixed state of being where we can’t experience the endless unfolding of life, one thing after another.

Many causes create an effect – a known fact when you observe the play of the mind frequently. When I put something into linear, I prevent the reality of nature to come to my vision. Nature is non-linear. It has been proven in quantum physics that  past, present and future does not occur in sequence as what we normal know. When I bring knowing into my space, I collapse what is truly outside there into a flat experience. How then can I know what is Truth?

The work of the mind is know. In Buddhism, the basic nature of consciousness is know. In my early blog I mentioned that the mind can’t not know as a stand alone experience as it comes together with a knowing – you know you do not know. That’s the nature of the mind. And when I am blind to the limitation of this function I prevent myself from exploring the future what is right in front of me. My ability to recognize this function and to move beyond it is wisdom at work. Wisdom is impersonal and has the capacity of looking at things in many many different perspective.

Wisdom too has knowing as an end result. If given choice I would use the word understanding instead. Wisdom brings about understanding. And from understanding I know the situation. Knowing is a second symbol of understanding. Knowing has memory as its base. If I don’t stop recognize this, I end the journey of understanding and instead fixed myself in knowing. Knowing is dead. Wisdom is alive. There is nothing wrong with knowing – in fact knowing allows me to probe deeper, to question what I really know, to enter into the unknown with inquisitiveness and curiosity. But when I don’t recognize the limitation of knowing, I outgrow my capacity of being open, of being humane – of being wise.

I just realized an extra K on the word Now makes a world of difference between Now and Know. When I am aware I am in the Now. When I am not aware I am in the Know. Awareness has the capacity of possibilities, allowing wisdom and understanding to arise. Know has the incapacity – limiting, flattening and collapsing everything in its way.