Illusion to Reality

Each moment of experience bring us to make a choice that is to either respond or react; in other words, based from right or wrong perception.Right perception is one that is based from wisdom, a learning that we have understood or realized from the past. Wrong perception is a conclusion that is based from ignorance, a judgment that we interpret, without giving ourselves a chance to reflect wisely within us what is the lesson of that moment. To give attention to the effect is a misperception as there is nothing we can do about it, thus wrong perception.

In short, we either learnt from the past or make a blanket conclusion out from it. It is not true that we always learn from the past – in fact we seldom learn except make conclusions out of what we experienced – through what we like and don’t like, instead of what brings us freedom or bondage. If it is a true learning, it would have been a realization, an understanding, and hence wisdom that leads us to peace and freedom. If our present actions are based from our past experiences of fear, of what we like and don’t like, then we can be sure we are locked into our past, experiencing a bondage that we have to apply in the present again, to escape the pain. “To learn” is to mean giving ourselves the space of an open mind to reach in and understand what is demeaning our peace, our freedom. If the mind is in the state of righteousness and arrogance, unaware of the fear lingering at the background, we have shut ourselves to understanding, to wisdom.

It is about being aware of these two dynamics playing up in us at each moment. We can only know or recognize them by being awake to the moment. Rarely we were trained to do this – hence the practice of mindful living. The mind is constantly focusing on the outside rather than in here – the very source where all issues are. Let me illustrate an event that shows these dynamics. I was on rice fasting for two weeks and there were many a time I smelled delicious cooking coming from my neighbour’s kitchen. To an unquestioned experience, the first thing that came to mind was how nice it was if I was able to savour that food. That thought would have perpetuated me further to a wild imagination of “what if”s and probably led to my giving up my fast in exchange for that pleasure. Or on the other extreme, the mind may have guilt for having such a thought and out of fear or shame, forced itself back quickly to some other activity as to avoid the temptation.

Both thoughts are detrimental to freedom and peace though on the onset it may seem as if I had picked out the right thing to do. But what I did was neither of both. I allowed myself the space to recognize the nature of the mind that was taking place – that nothing could be included or excluded from past, except to acknowledge it. Whatever effect experience that came up from that scent is nature – I don’t have a choice in it. My only choice lies in how I respond or react to it. I don’t have a choice not to smell the scent – either it comes into my space or otherwise. And as I allow nature to unfold itself I realized that the scent has nothing to do with my taste, except a thought that arise subsequently wanting to eat it. What has the scent got to do with eating? That understanding alone was enough to bring me back into peace, recognizing that smelling is part of the process and wisdom has the ability to differentiate it with the taste and hence the end of the thought. This self inquiry arose when I give myself the space to observe how nature works – not by suppressing or refraining from smelling.

Right choice comes from wisdom. And it is also wisdom that makes me see that I can’t stop others from judging me. And it is again wisdom that allows me to learn from the situation after it happened. Where there is no wisdom, there is no choice except jumping into a reaction which is based from wrong perception of the past and what started off as ignorance will spiral further that leads to more defence, attack and ultimately blame and pain. There is no other way except to relearn from it again in another situation where we are called upon to choose again – to inquire so as to gain deeper insights into the reason of our errors and the pain deriving from it, which in return will be gifted with wisdom. Each little step we take in watching the mind is a sure journey Home, to Truth itself.

Imagine a situation where I am unsure whether to speak or not to speak, to share or not to share, or to keep quiet totally. What would be the cause of action that will bring me to make the right choice? And even if the “right” choice is made, I may find myself landing in a situation where I am being ridiculed or judged for what I have said, misquoted out of context or even accused of lying. What then would be the next cause of action that will bring me out from that embarrassment or guilt? And if I am brought out from that situation of embarrassment or hurt safely, what then would be the next cause that will make me review what has happened in which I could learn from it?

In normal sense, we are taught to plan our next course of action, like a game of chess, anticipating the next move our opponent will take, so as to prepare ourselves for an attack or a defence. It is pretty stressful working out life this way as it is about getting approval from others to live our lives or, planning our moves so that we will not be hurt by life. It is a continuous damned game of trying to make others happy so that we can be happy. In short, we live the life of others to make our lives live. It is a constant battle between living our integrity and living our conscience for others.

This living is about putting fear in the forefront, using fear as a yardstick for learning. An experience of hurt brings us to make a conclusion or judgment of what happened is “bad” and that it should not be repeated again in the future to avoid that pain. It is a constant interaction of what is out there which hurts us rather than what is it inside here that caused the hurt. It is using the effects of the world to make an assumption or a conclusion instead of looking at the cause of the mind which is the source of our suffering.

Yet there is another way of living – looking into our cause of action, instead of planning the next course of action. To look into the cause is to mean recognizing what motivates us to respond or react in the next moment. It is no longer about defending or attacking what is out there but rather a choice we consciously choose to come into peace with ourselves; by making peace with the mind instead of succumbing to its insanity of adhering to the world – by clinging, holding on, blame – practically everything on the belt.

One is working at the root cause; the other, at the symptom. Most of us are wise to discern the difference – in fact most of our lives’ successes are attributed to working on the cause – water dripping from the tap – the tap is the problem and not the water; business not running well – we look into the setup of the company instead of complaining about the business; the plant is not growing well – we work on the soil instead of seeing there is something wrong with the plant. The mind already knows the relationship between the cause and effect of what is going on.

But strangely, when it comes to the “I” and the world, meaning the cause is the mind and the world as the effect – as my perception of the world makes the world it is – the ball game changes. From being wise, there is a dumb side in each and every one of us that still see the effect as the problem – the world. How can the effect be the problem since the effect is a derivative of the cause? Effect is just churning out its result of what the cause is producing. The unhealthy plant is just the effect of what is being put into its surroundings.

Our spouse is the problem to our peace, my boss is the problem to my stress, my parents made me who I am today, the country is making me poorer, traffic jams, food, money, petrol, water, rivers – everything – not even sparing God, as if God has a damn in what our problem is – there is always something out there to complaint about, get what I mean? We may not see the obvious when we are not complaining – but aren’t we doing it every moment – planning how to sweet talk someone, manipulating our strategy to get what we want, acting superior to control – they are all unseen, unspoken, acted out subtly, yet terribly insidious – proliferating in the mind. If one were to care to watch the mind, moment to moment, you will get what I mean.

Indeed a serious diseased mind, operating in all of us. After all being said, I am not implying that we are all “bad” but rather propelling the questioning of why the need to let this form of programming run in our system that is costing us our freedom and peace – not the freedom or peace that is gotten from someone or something, but rather the true freedom and peace that is already inherent in us – when we recognize the inner blocks that is disallowing Truth to reveals itself. It is time we go home, so to speak, for us to turn the radar of responsibility inward to all the pain, and misery that we have unconsciously built within us. What we have sowed we have to own. Not easy, but it is a sure and safe journey home to Truth.