Impersonal Nature

How would I define Nature? To me, Nature is an impersonal order.  An order that is infinitely intelligent, harmonizing and easing everything from the minutest level to the macro level. Everything in existence, whether animate or inanimate is found this order, arising in silence,  unseen in every process. The arising of tangible objects are the result of Nature and yet Nature is intangible, unseen.

The same too can be mentioned about the Mind. You know it exist and yet you can’t put a finger on it. It is an order that governs experiences like hearing, smelling, tasting, seeing, touching, feeling, thinking, remembering etc.

Why do I perceive Nature as impersonal? Anything that is personal, has a mask (Latin). Why does nature need to put on a mask? Nature has no need to defense or attack. Nature is everything. Formless and infinite, it simply eases itself in total harmony and grace.

It is difficult for the mind to comprehend intelligence as an impersonal state and thus labels like Higher Being or even God come into being. And it is a cause of misunderstanding. Both connotation implies a force higher than me. The word higher already gives it a meaning of form, which already implies a limit. Anything that has a form, be it seen or unseen is limiting. Then you may say it is formless? Formless is a kind of form too except that it is not fix.

The mind can’t understand something that is beyond its capacity to understand. To put a label to it is to force the mind to conceptualize what it can’t understand, thus your God and my God is different – for I only conceptualize what I can only conceptualize. It is of no wonder the world is at war, for what I perceived is totally different from what you perceived, not to mention the word God. My perception is conditioned by what I experienced in life and your perception is conditioned by what you experienced in life. My present perception will change through time when new conditioning sets in – thus my God changes too! How absurd when I hold steadfast to my meaning or views. To say I know God is simply meaningless. How can personal grasp what is impersonal except in the space of impersonal?

I can’t escape from my own perception and thus I have to admit I can’t understand what is God, not to mentioned to know what it is. Unless and until perception is transcended, when “I” gets out of the way, the meaning of anything, everything, is meaningless.

In the voidness of everything, including I, me, mine, you – everything – godliness is understood.

Drunk in Illusions

I stood in the world and found them all drunk, and I did not find any of them thirsty. They came into the world empty, and they seek to leave the world empty. But meanwhile they are drunk. When they shake off their wine, they will open their eyes.
– Yeshua

In my day to day living, or more precisely, moment to moment relationship, I observed a particular distinct pattern the mind has that I am inclined to – almost predictable. Things that I like, and things that I don’t like. Things that I consistently do to attract attention, and things that I do to avoid discomfort. Things that I dare to pursue and things that I have yet to overcome. Things that I deceive others, and things that I try impressing others. Things that I yearn and things that I abhor. I lived like a predictable magnet, attract and distract from the poles of experiences. So predictable are the experiences that I become master of it, so I thought. Or have the experiences mastered itself so much so that I am simply led by it? Like the simile of the owner and his dog –  who is leading who? Where I am coming from makes a difference.

All these are happening in my mind – like a shadow following me – so familiar and trapped! Many a times I caught clear glimpses of deception, betrayal and conspiracy going on – not on someone “out there”, sad to say (no pun intended) – but over and over again, towards myself. When I am not aware of these stuff, the end result is always about someone “outside” there who caused me all the pain, discomfort and upsets. This is insanity of the highest order – expecting someone to take responsibility of my own madness which I am oblivious to. This reminded me back of the statement made by the same spirit – you are not upset for the reason you think it is.

It is a mystery to recognize that these are the things I have been living with, moment after moment, day after day, year after year, and probably life after life, if it does mean anything. Until I bear witness to all this experiences I am like a drunkard, living a life of mediocre, or can I truly call that life? I lived, led astray by these conditioning, never having the thirst to inquire deeper its meaning.

Who am I? What am I? How did I landed myself in these patterns? Why? These are the probing questions that invoke each and everyone of us towards the discovery to the mystery of oneself. And yet, this journey can be forest of roses, or, thorns.  It can be another journey of drunkardness, if what I seek comes from blind beliefs rather than wise inquiries.

When they shake off their wine, they will open their eyes.

New Year?

Is it another cover-up of what exist?
Or a repackaging of what is “old”?
Am I veiling deeper what I am not ready to face?
By tricking myself a new fresh start?

I am not spoiling the “new year” (if only there is one)
For the mind has seen it all
An ancient game
Created new again

Liken an old house
A new coat of paint spread

So is the mind
Recycled
Reused
Refresh

Nothing new
Except an old house
Waiting wearily
to be falled

Awaiting the dawning of freedom