There is a difference when I say “mind your own business” and, “mind my own business”. Language wise, both statements seem to refer to two different subjects, but in reality they are the same. If I were to tell you to mind your own business, I am actually telling myself to mind my own business, and not yours. For whatever I tell you are actually what I am needed to hear, just that I am not aware of it at this moment. If I tell you who I think you are, I am needed here/now to hear what that statement is expressing about me. Lots!
Each statement I project to the world is telling a lot about me, only if I were to choose to listen. In reality, any projection is what I am denying. If I tell that you are beautiful, I am already telling a lot about “myself”. More than that, I am saying it for myself to hear, not you. If I am honest, observing this self, I will ask what is it that I need to hear about what I have just expressed. I can’t be honest to you except to myself. When I am honest to myself, I am already honest to you. What I convey to the world is an effect of what is in my cause. When I am honest with you, without considering my cause, I am only “honestly lying” to you.
My cause is my motivation. What am I being motivated to express a statement? Any statement is superficially shallow in comparison to the motivation behind it. I can be motivated by unworthiness, by personal motive, by ill-intent, by joy, by annoyance, by love, by guilt – it can be anything. No one need to know which motivation I am coming from, except myself. It is for me, and me, to recognize. And if I think I can ignore this motivation, I am just being blatantly dishonest about myself – but that does not matter too, as the cause will never leave me until I come into peace with it.
There are so much conversations and communications going on “out there” but they are all relatively empty in relation to the communication that is going on “in here”, the self. What is seemingly felt nice outside does not necessary be true inside. Understanding the self, the ego, I can’t trust any praises or comments coming from anyone else – not that I have problem of trusting, but rather I am aware that every sentence is not what I thought it is – there is so much more that is going on in that person self that I can never comprehend. They are only speaking from the space of their own motivation. It is for them to hear. For that I have to remind myself that every sentence that comes to me, has little meaning to me, except my own.
The “nice” compliments that I am so hungrily awaiting to receive, tells so much about me. And yet at the same time I also know that the compliment someone gives to me is not really for me to hear, but for himself to listen. I have been taught to see things either as good or bad, but isn’t it just a mere superficial judgment as what I see as good can be motivated by ill-intent, and what I perceived as bad can be motivated by wise intent. You may ask how can that be? Check your motivation and you will know what I mean. All my judgments are far from truth. I don’t and I can never know what motivation is coming from others, but I can know for sure what motivation is coming from my closet, only if I choose to investigate.
For that I can only mind my own business and I can’t even make any sentence that is detrimental to your well being – for that is exactly for me to hear instead of you. But if I am affected by others’ statements, be it pleasant or unpleasant experience, I can be sure there is something within me I am not acknowledging. Thus all quarrels or arguments are in vain, as there is nothing to dispute except ourselves.
Welcome to the real game!
Man In The Mirror
I’m Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I’m Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself,
And Then Make A Change
– Michael Jackson