Month: October 2010

If you find there are s**t coming up in you – wait a minute – stop judging or blaming those whom you wish to make a scapegoat out of, and  instead ponder for a moment that they are here to bring up what you need to heal. In silence, give them a mental hug and respect them for being here for you.

Consider wisely who will take on the role of triggering you. Only a person of insane mind will do that as he will surely be aware that he is risking having you exterminating him from the friendship you may already cherished. And yet he takes on that role out of love for you knowing consciously that he is doing it with risk; and as and when you can see the truth, his role has been well executed.

Similarly if someone was to blame you for making them miserable, thank them anyway for bringing up your pain as without them those stuffs will still lay constipated in your mind. Imagine how horrible it can be for those stuff latent toxic in you.

Thus whether it is betrayal, jealousy, hatred, aversion, unsatisfaction or whatever retinue of negativity there are, please do quickly remember to pull the brakes of inciting further hatred. It is time to look at them as your own mirror as they are merely mirroring you of what is already within that needs to be understood, realized and released. We are all the same, lost in wilderness of who we are not. We linger aimlessly in the forbidden forest, pricked by the thorns of discomfort and pain.

If only you can see that within those thorns are roses that make your journey easy in the midst of pain. Surely there is a way out. So instead of the impossible complaint of imagining the roses without the thorns, why not accept the thorns lovingly together with the roses as it is part of the whole journey of completeness. And to move gently with presence and awareness is a gift you can offer yourself. It is a refuge of love, of non-separation, of grace.

Look not far to heal your hurt as it has never been until you misunderstood yourself. Look deeply and you will find the antidote for that pain. It has never left you and will never be as within the hurt itself is the remedy. Do come as close as you could without hurting yourself further. Only in that space do you give yourself the grace in accepting that pain. Look at the pain and not the meaning of it. Face it as if you are facing the mirror – for you will find your truth there. Until you are able to do that you have to content with whatever courage you have in your space. Little by little you will find the loving part of you ready to embrace each difficulty as it arises in life. Only then do you see the world differently with deep compassion and peace. For freedom is all you have.

what I give to the world
I give either with ignorance or wisdom
am I aware?

with ignorance the world is led astray
if it is wisdom
it can only be a symbol of symbol
twice removed from reality
… so where is there truth except meanings?

as much as I would like
to accurately convey my understanding
words will always inadequately
portray my wishes

no matter how best I try
words will remain as words
and yet behind those words
are essence of what I intend

thus read between the lines
and reflect deeply what has been conveyed
but then again
do you have a choice
or can that be ever possible?

considering that you can only know
what you know
and do not know
what you do not know

as words enter your sight
your ideas
will read according to what it perceives
how then could it be possible
that you are able
to understand fully what I am trying to say?

it is a mission impossible
to point to Truth
as Truth is not to be spoken
but only to be realized
but yet, but yet
if Truth is not conveyed
how then could one realize there is such journey?

and here I am back to ground zero
asking myself
to speak or not to speak
as either is a dilemma

can I take charge of what is out there
except what is in here?
Or that what is out there
is merely a reflection of what is in here?

that nothing needs to be done or look forward for
except reminding myself over again that
in accepting, surrendering and trusting
that what is entitled
will come in due time without
“I” getting in the way.

How real can now be, except as an experience? If past and future is just a figment of an imagination of the mind, isn’t the now too another illusion? Consider that if a past memory is brought to my attention and because it is occurring in the now, it then becomes my reality; as an experience. My reality is defined by what I am experiencing now. If I am experiencing anguish from that memory, obviously this feeling that is so real and tangible now defines that what was in the past was and is still real. Similarly if I am experiencing euphoria from a past thought, this experience that I am savoring now becomes my reality and hence the mind concludes that what was in the past was and is still real too. What would it be like if a past event was met with a neutral feeling, say, as in remembering a walk by the street? It is still an experience to me as in now, though the feeling may not be relatively as intense as those from the earlier examples – as such it is still real, for me.

My “real” is defined by what I am experiencing now. Whether it is something that has passed or yet to arrive, so long as I am experiencing it, that experience is defining “my reality” – as in I, me or I am. The power lies not in the now, past or future but in experiencing itself.

If I am experiencing loneliness now, the feeling of it is my reality, along with all its thoughts; inseparable. The past doesn’t haunt us, but rather we haunt the past, or make the past real, by the meaning we give to our present experience. Experience defines me. Experience defines now. Experience defines reality. In truth, to say that the power is not in the now but in the experience is not entirely true too. To be able to recognize and realize that an experience is merely an experience and it does not have any bearing on the witness except as a passing moment and soon too, or rather as immediate as it arises, shall pass – is power itself.

Power as to mean influence. It is either the experience which influences me or I am not influenced by the experience. The former has attachment to it and the latter, detachment. When I am attached to the experience, I become a victim to it, hence the feeling of powerlessness. It does not matter whether the experience is pleasant, unpleasant or even neutral. Either one leads me to desire, to adverse or to seek further. It is a similar game I play over and over again, as if there is something better coming up next. And yet it is a passing-by experience that I am savoring as I can only experience it when it has arisen, not while it is arising, though in my space I seem to have the perception that it is constantly here. Merely, an illusion.

Power lies in the ability to be awake, to observe and to realize that experiences are merely a phenomenon, arising and passing away as quickly as a bubble, as meaningless as dust, each moment independent of itself, with a period upon it. Unless and until we see them as unreal, each experience becomes dependent on the past and future and thus grips us, as another story, another drama, another continuation of suffering, having happiness or sadness, with all their relatives in it.

Power is not found in the Now but in Wisdom itself – seeing the world, merely an illusion.

Just as a bubble may be seen,
just as a faint mirage,
so should the world be viewed
that the Death-king sees one not.

–          Dhammapada 170

(Look at a bubble. How impermanent it is? Look at a mirage. What an illusion! If you look at the world in this way, even the king of death will not see you.)