Who You Really Are

who-are-you-

Consider yourself, a passerby, passing an inn. Upon hearing much noise and merrymaking coming through, you peeped in and found with a little disgust, rowdy rantings with drunkards singing, arguing, fighting and gossiping, with some in torpor or drowned in oblivion gazes.

Affected by what you saw, without much reason to stay on, you moved along your journey – only to find more inns, in almost the same states! After more of this, you no longer have the interest to even peep in. Never once did you find one unoccupied. You became weary. Yet, you still had to move on as you could find no place to rest.

You are just an observer, a mere vagabond, a wanderer with no permanent refuge, looking at the occupants of the inns, finding no peace nor space, where you could finally come to settle. In some ways, you too, are slowly becoming to be like those occupants – restless, irritated, disturbed, tired and at times resentful of what is going on. Nevertheless, you prod on and on, hoping to seek but never to find.

But, what if, you were never a passerby in the first place? Never a weary wanderer, or a vagabond, but once upon a forgotten time, a House-keeper of all the many inns. The rightful Ruler of impeccable order, unperturbed by what is taking place and present to whatever happenings there are, uninvolved and unaffected by the activities. But somehow, one day, there came along one presence, Forgotten was his name, which, upon the first encounter, you fell under his spell. And in a temporary state of forgetfulness trance, it cost you to imagine yourself wandering aimlessly – like a dream, where happenings take place, yet you are tucked comfortably in the bed, never once moved away from it. And seemingly soon, without your care, the inns came to a state of ruin, where strange intruders of many kinds came to inhabit. Being rowdy, chaotic, unbecoming, they took over instead, having the inns as their party places.

Who are you? Who are “you”, really? What have you forgotten that makes you so deeply identified and associated with your mind? The happenings in the inns, like those comedians, drunkards, gossipers, dullards or skeptics are like happenings in your mind. Are you really the mind, the “happenings” that is taking place, where activities come and go like those comedians, drunkards, gossipers, dullards or skeptics? Or are you the ”Awareness”, the weary passerby, who occasionally took a good peep into the mind, only to find as always, desires and aversions, with restless thoughts and worries, at times sloth and torpor, and even doubt, plaguing, never at all any peace within. Sometimes you are totally lost in them; at times forgot to even notice them, and many a times you were seemingly like them.

Or, are you truly the Housekeeper of the mind? Whereby, perfect presence is given to anything that is coming through – seen as mere objects taking place – unmoved, untouched by their appearances. And “Forgotten” is just here to remind you of what has happened in that one ancient moment – of not forgetting to be present to him. That, you were NEVER the imagined traveler, NEVER the dreamer, with the need to travel through imagined time and having the weariness to peep in and out, finding unhappiness. Rather, you are truly in perfect presence and wakefulness to every moment of activity taking place.

Welcome, my friends, of days and years, and probably lifetimes forgotten, that the position of a Housekeeper is always You. The days of a passerby is over. Let not the rowdies, or the slayers, or even the gossipers trouble you. When you take on the Position, the house (mind) will surely be in order. The inns of your mind will be back into shape, glittering clean and bright, with heartfelt delight and loving warmth.

Take charge my friend, take charge, without needing to overturn or to intrude or even to control the mind, except reclaiming back your Reality. It has always been yours, briefly forgotten by a tiny spell, albeit a long forgotten one. A little mistake that only requires your Awakening. And the peek-a-boo game is no longer required. Welcome Home, my dear friend.

Fantasies change Reality. That is their purpose.

The betrayal of the Son of God* lies only in illusions, and all his “sins” are but his own imagining. His reality is forever sinless. He need not be forgiven but awakened. In his dreams he has betrayed himself, his brothers and his God. Yet what is done in dreams has not been really done. It is impossible to convince the dreamer that this is so, for dreams are what they are because of their illusion of reality. Only in waking is the full release from them, for only then does it become perfectly apparent that they had no effect upon reality at all, and did not change it. Fantasies change reality. That is their purpose. They cannot do so in reality, but they can do so in the mind that would have reality be different.

– Bringing Fantasy to Truth, A Course in Miracles. 1, pp351

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*Note: For those of different faith who may find the word Son of God uneasy, my self-inquiry leads me to the following understanding:  The world is a dream and we are not really here.  As in any dream who we think we are, is but an illusion. The mind could not comprehend what is beyond it, as it is beyond the mind’s comprehension. Hence the word “God” is created to point to that. Son of God is merely a word coined to mean our true reality, beyond mindbody.

Fabrication

The stuff running in the mind equates to water running in a great river – incomprehensibly timeless and infinite. Imagine you are part of the water, unknowingly flowing together with it as long as you could ever remembered, like a dream, until one such day that you are awakened by a moment of calling to this unceasing flow and realize the dire need to get out of it.

Imagine what will be the feeling like when you realized that the uncontrollable flow is not your birth place and you have long been unconsciously drawn into this force and lived with it as if it was your very own life? This moment of realization begins the journey of undoing, of coming back into your senses and realized that you are been played rather than you are playing, you are been lived rather than you are living, you are been dreamed rather than you are dreaming, you are been done rather than you are doing.

This awakening sets the momentum of questioning who you really are, and starts the irreversible journey of self inquiry.

So long as one is unawakened to this dream, birth and death is an integral notion of this reality. This fabricated dream or nightmare has all the myriads of experiences one can ever phantom from seemingly mundane happiness to sadness, in short, the delusion of duality or separation.