Consider yourself, a passerby, passing an inn. Upon hearing much noise and merrymaking coming through, you peeped in and found with a little disgust, rowdy rantings with drunkards singing, arguing, fighting and gossiping, with some in torpor or drowned in oblivion gazes.
Affected by what you saw, without much reason to stay on, you moved along your journey – only to find more inns, in almost the same states! After more of this, you no longer have the interest to even peep in. Never once did you find one unoccupied. You became weary. Yet, you still had to move on as you could find no place to rest.
You are just an observer, a mere vagabond, a wanderer with no permanent refuge, looking at the occupants of the inns, finding no peace nor space, where you could finally come to settle. In some ways, you too, are slowly becoming to be like those occupants – restless, irritated, disturbed, tired and at times resentful of what is going on. Nevertheless, you prod on and on, hoping to seek but never to find.
But, what if, you were never a passerby in the first place? Never a weary wanderer, or a vagabond, but once upon a forgotten time, a House-keeper of all the many inns. The rightful Ruler of impeccable order, unperturbed by what is taking place and present to whatever happenings there are, uninvolved and unaffected by the activities. But somehow, one day, there came along one presence, Forgotten was his name, which, upon the first encounter, you fell under his spell. And in a temporary state of forgetfulness trance, it cost you to imagine yourself wandering aimlessly – like a dream, where happenings take place, yet you are tucked comfortably in the bed, never once moved away from it. And seemingly soon, without your care, the inns came to a state of ruin, where strange intruders of many kinds came to inhabit. Being rowdy, chaotic, unbecoming, they took over instead, having the inns as their party places.
Who are you? Who are “you”, really? What have you forgotten that makes you so deeply identified and associated with your mind? The happenings in the inns, like those comedians, drunkards, gossipers, dullards or skeptics are like happenings in your mind. Are you really the mind, the “happenings” that is taking place, where activities come and go like those comedians, drunkards, gossipers, dullards or skeptics? Or are you the ”Awareness”, the weary passerby, who occasionally took a good peep into the mind, only to find as always, desires and aversions, with restless thoughts and worries, at times sloth and torpor, and even doubt, plaguing, never at all any peace within. Sometimes you are totally lost in them; at times forgot to even notice them, and many a times you were seemingly like them.
Or, are you truly the Housekeeper of the mind? Whereby, perfect presence is given to anything that is coming through – seen as mere objects taking place – unmoved, untouched by their appearances. And “Forgotten” is just here to remind you of what has happened in that one ancient moment – of not forgetting to be present to him. That, you were NEVER the imagined traveler, NEVER the dreamer, with the need to travel through imagined time and having the weariness to peep in and out, finding unhappiness. Rather, you are truly in perfect presence and wakefulness to every moment of activity taking place.
Welcome, my friends, of days and years, and probably lifetimes forgotten, that the position of a Housekeeper is always You. The days of a passerby is over. Let not the rowdies, or the slayers, or even the gossipers trouble you. When you take on the Position, the house (mind) will surely be in order. The inns of your mind will be back into shape, glittering clean and bright, with heartfelt delight and loving warmth.
Take charge my friend, take charge, without needing to overturn or to intrude or even to control the mind, except reclaiming back your Reality. It has always been yours, briefly forgotten by a tiny spell, albeit a long forgotten one. A little mistake that only requires your Awakening. And the peek-a-boo game is no longer required. Welcome Home, my dear friend.
2 Replies to “Who You Really Are”
Dear Teacer Tuck,
Thank you for your recent visit to Hong Kong. I met you and your partner at the informal coffee organized by Jessica.
Your talk after the coffee in the Mulberry center touched on the non-self. I remember responding to your comment with my understanding of the idea you were talking about in terms of how the non-self is a viewer of the reality or the movie that I usually identify as “me” – my life, my experience.
That idea has been coming to me on and off last week. And it somehow brought up this experience I had when I was a teenager: I was performing in a piano recital on a piece of music I truly enjoy and love. Like every time I perform, I was nervous at first. This particular time there was no exception, I was feeling nervous. And then something incredible happen… I was performing and got into an interesting… zone (?). I remember that I was watching myself play from within. It was like a dream. I was watching my fingers move and watching the performance happening but I felt the body and the mind somehow just a channel and I don’t know where “I” went. I am not certain exactly what happened but it felt like the performance was happening to me. Like I was not “making” it happen, even though I was clearning playing the piano in this body.
So for some reason, as I find myself pondering the thought of non-self, that scene from that performance came up. Somehow it seems connected.
If you can relate or have any insight, I would appreciate it.
Regardless, thank you for your light.
With kind regards,
When the need-to-do-further-then-necessary stops, the mind already knows what to do. Often then not, the fear is what makes that reality couldn’t take place. The wanting to control, to fix, to make it happens, ignores the basic fact that the mind already knows what to do.