The Sand of Time – Oblivious to the Obvious

From personal observation and experience, the Spirit, Wisdom or Essence, whatever you may call it, never left me; not even once, not even a breath of a moment. Not like stories of the old where I hear about “have mercy God, why have you forsaken me?” – for God, or Spirit, or whatever name I put upon it, is not something, or someone that is separated from me. It is inseparable. In fact the word “separation” was not even in the equation at all in the very first place. It is just a delusional experience I get when I don’t realize that there is nothing that I “should” not have and nothing that I “could” have other than what is already here for me.

The meaning of “lack” only arises in me when I want something other than what is already here in my space. What is already in my space is all that I am – for that is who I really am – defined by what is in the experience. In short, experiences define me. If anger is in my space, I define myself as “I am Angry”. If food is in front of me and a pleasant experience comes up in me, I define myself as “I am Happy” etc. I am peaceful, I am hurt, I am stupid, I am intelligent, I am jealous – mere definitions of experiences. I am being given experiences all the time, not one moment short of it. Other than experiences, I am no-thing – not even “I am”. In fact, “I am no-thing” is also not spiritually correct as there is no “I am” other than experience. When experience arises, “I am” accompanies it. In other words there is merely experiencing but no experiencer, observing but no observer.

But desire or clinging makes me think otherwise, delusionally. It makes me think I am “Someone” or “Somebody” if I have what I want. In truth I can’t have anything except experience itself. “Experience” and the “need to have something” is exclusive and yet the same thing.  The “need to have something” is an experience that is already in my space. If I don’t see it as an experience, I fall into the trap that it is “I” that is needing it, hence “I am needing” instead of needing as an experience. When this equation is not seen exactly as it is, I ignore the Truth that is present at that moment of time and fall into the dream of lack, which calls forth the meaning of “separation” of what I am wanting and not able to have it. Irrelevant whether I will have it later or not, but each wanting is already a meaning of “separation” attached to it.

Ignorance is the cause – in other words missing the mark resulting in misperception that is going on in the Now. Hence, clinging is the effect. Both this causal relationship of ignorance or clinging is wrong view by nature. A wrong view or idea that comes into my space which I do not recognize it as an experience but instead latch on to it as “I am experiencing” – a delusional realness that perpetuates the nightmare of this so-called existence. Existence does not exist except in a dream, an illusion of clinging on to the idea sprang from not having and thus the need to seek for it. Right here, right now, once the misperception is change – from seeing it as an experience, rather than “I am experiencing”, what is misperceived is brought into Truth – it is all just a tiny mad idea.

Herein lies the Peace; immaculate, unspotted, untouched, unconditioned – where “I” was merely a dream, a dream that has never occurred at all, except in an illusion. And illusion is but a misperception, a delusion of sort, an off tangent of what is – missing the mark.

it begins
as an unobvious error
a very tiny little bit of misperception
a REALITY off tangent
and a whole meaning of time conceived
harmless as it may seems
left unchecked
a nightmare
an unimaginable suffering.

beyond time
beyond space
nothing
occurred
except but a dream.

wakeup… wakeup!

***

an article worth reading:
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/thanissaro/freedomfrombuddhanature.html

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