If you find there are s**t coming up in you – wait a minute – stop judging or blaming those whom you wish to make a scapegoat out of, and instead ponder for a moment that they are here to bring up what you need to heal. In silence, give them a mental hug and respect them for being here for you.
Consider wisely who will take on the role of triggering you. Only a person of insane mind will do that as he will surely be aware that he is risking having you exterminating him from the friendship you may already cherished. And yet he takes on that role out of love for you knowing consciously that he is doing it with risk; and as and when you can see the truth, his role has been well executed.
Similarly if someone was to blame you for making them miserable, thank them anyway for bringing up your pain as without them those stuffs will still lay constipated in your mind. Imagine how horrible it can be for those stuff latent toxic in you.
Thus whether it is betrayal, jealousy, hatred, aversion, unsatisfaction or whatever retinue of negativity there are, please do quickly remember to pull the brakes of inciting further hatred. It is time to look at them as your own mirror as they are merely mirroring you of what is already within that needs to be understood, realized and released. We are all the same, lost in wilderness of who we are not. We linger aimlessly in the forbidden forest, pricked by the thorns of discomfort and pain.
If only you can see that within those thorns are roses that make your journey easy in the midst of pain. Surely there is a way out. So instead of the impossible complaint of imagining the roses without the thorns, why not accept the thorns lovingly together with the roses as it is part of the whole journey of completeness. And to move gently with presence and awareness is a gift you can offer yourself. It is a refuge of love, of non-separation, of grace.
Look not far to heal your hurt as it has never been until you misunderstood yourself. Look deeply and you will find the antidote for that pain. It has never left you and will never be as within the hurt itself is the remedy. Do come as close as you could without hurting yourself further. Only in that space do you give yourself the grace in accepting that pain. Look at the pain and not the meaning of it. Face it as if you are facing the mirror – for you will find your truth there. Until you are able to do that you have to content with whatever courage you have in your space. Little by little you will find the loving part of you ready to embrace each difficulty as it arises in life. Only then do you see the world differently with deep compassion and peace. For freedom is all you have.
And I remember reading about a Lama who keeps a really bad tempered cook with him whenever he travels to teach. Once, his students asked him why he wants to keep such a company with him, and he said it is to help him in his practice. Now I understand why…
wow that is indeed a noble way of living, though not a choice i will consciously make unless it comes to my space! haha