To look into the past to see where our pain originated from is to miss the mark of what true healing is about. The past is but meanings we once put to a situation that we did not understand except our own perception about it. If our parents were busy at work and we feel lonely, our interpretation may at that point be abandonment by our loved ones – yet it is merely our judgments we put upon them, but not exactly what it was. How this meaning is derived and where it origins, we will never know. When that thought arises in us at that point we think it is because of external factor that leads to it, yet it is delusional not to realize that the situation is only a catalyst to what we already unconsciously have, awaiting for the right condition for it to arise again. Thus we do not really know – we think we know, yet we know not. We know nothing at all. What we know is not even a fragment of the entire origin of reality. But when we think we know, we made a conclusive statement to what happened and that becomes our nightmare of believe that will set the whole motion of meanings in our coming moments in life.
Thus, to trace back its origin and to realize what happened in the storyline is not truly as empowering as realizing these are merely meanings we subscribed to that make us re-experience it again this moment. In fact by noticing, “abandonment” is merely a meaning is enough to set us free in the now. Yet many a times the issue is not as simple as it is, as the meaning that we have bought into has mutated throughout the years into a belief – a more potent evolved state of perceived reality that are merely a reinforced meaning.
Hence to see the end of our so-called experience, be it happy or sad, is to see its meaninglessness. Even happiness is meaningless, considering that it is a result of expectation met, deriving from a certain idea or meaning that we put in as good or satisfying our need. It will be surprising to notice that it is guilt that propels one to seek for happiness as it is by not having that we subtly manipulate situations to meet our needs. If you have observed your mind or been authentic to your action can you finally see this reality. Many a times we are thwarted by what we think, rather than what we realized.
Take the example of admonishment – when we admonish someone with thoughts of ill-will, thinking that it is for their highest good, we are not noticing the reality that what we spoke is actually for us to hear. We don’t notice that our addiction of wanting to control and predict motivates us to control others for our own convenience so that we need not face the vulnerability when our expectation is not met. We impose our views upon others expecting that what we think is ultimate truth, yet how can that be possible when we don’t even realize that what we share with others are nothing except personal views.
Thus do we really, really know? Not at all. We know nothing except our perception about it. Do you know a car? No, we don’t – we only know how to drive but we don’t know what a car is. We only know how to use a mobile phone, but we don’t know what a mobile phone is. Similarly, we only know another by their character which we come into connection with through what we see and perceive, but we don’t and can’t know who he or she really is. We will never know, not even if we stayed with them for awhile, unless and until we come to know our mind inside out.
One Reply to “Delusion Came A Visit Again”
Wow! Reading this has renewed my understanding of the NOW. If I manage to recall whatever I understand of your sharing in my Nows, I feel ‘suffering’ would be impossible. Knowing this brings an uplifting zest to my journey. Keen to test it out. Thanks very much!