Author: asitisnow

Now is the treasure trove of inquiries
Of unfound beauty hidden beneath the facade of seeking
When one brings forth inquiries
of Now what is not known
what is hidden, comes forth a surprise.

So let each inquiry always be for the now
Instead of from the now
inquiry to probe instead of to challenge
inquiry to realize instead of to instil
inquiry that opens up the heart
instead of reinforcing
inquiry not to seek an answer
but to let the answer finds you.

Within each inquiry an answer awaits, lovingly
For when there is no inquiry whence is there answer?
let the inquiry be wise
as to unfold the wisdom of answers
let the inquiry be opened
as to unfold unlimited potentials
let the inquiry be
for the sake of love
instead of fear

for when the step is rightly taken
what is not seen will be seen
what is seen will be made known
and what is made known
will be triumphed
and what is triumphed
will be gloried upon all

so let you not seek
but to see.

I see you.

The difference between seeking and finding is that the former has meaning of total absence of what is and thus need to acquire whereas the latter has a prior knowledge that a search is all that is needed to look for what is potentially available here, but not seen yet.

Both of these ideas or meanings determine how we live our lives and from it our life experience are created around it. In fact, the only difference that separates the world and spirituality is found in these two roots of experience. Do you notice that many a times of our moments we are seeking rather than finding? We seek for love instead of finding what is blocking us from loving now. We seek for money instead of what is stopping money from coming in, now. We seek for happiness instead of why we are not experiencing happiness now. When we do not acknowledge what is here in the now that we are not recognizing, we are already ignoring or denying the present and hence constantly projecting our attention to the imaginative future to arrive at. Isn’t that what most of us are experiencing, almost constantly?

Thus the NOW can have two meanings of definition for two different individuals – one, not seeing what is here and thus keep seeking – for them, the now is the cause of the problem and that propels them to look further into the future, hence ignoring or denying the present. To another, the now is an effect of what they are not seeing, and that propels them to be more in the present moment so as to find what they have missed. You would have known by now why the mind is seldom in the present no matter how much you try to be aware. Your hidden idea is perpetuating your present experience – considering that it is only “hidden” because you are not noticing it. For you to notice, you have to be aware and to be aware you have to be here! Now. Ironic isn’t it?

We lost ourselves when we seek; we find ourselves when we see.

 

To the wise, “now” is for the sake of unravelling. To the ignorant (ignoring what is in the now), the “now” is for the sake of moving away. Many are familiar with the verse of St Francis of Asisi when he said, what we are seeking is what that seek. It is the “what that seek” is what needed scrutiny and realization, not seeking what is other than here. We lost ourselves when we seek; we find ourselves when we see. We are simply not seeing the obvious. This can only occur because we are not told to do so. More accurately is that we are constantly being taught the opposite thus the mind only knows how to live by it.

The mentality of lack is determined by our innate idea of seeking. The world direction is constantly about not enough, not getting and not arriving at. Even our education, our work, our survival is constantly plague with the meaning “there is always something better there”. Having this mentality in mind, it is impossible to see the potential of non-doing, and thus those of these genre will dispute the opposite and often than not, label them as “lazy” or “giving up the fight”. They may even hear non-doing as not-doing, unrealized that not-doing is an actual part of the game of “seeking but not finding” hence resigning to it.

And because of that mentality, our minds are most often than not, always in the future. They are results of what idea we have in mind – we can try our very best to bring our minds back to the moment, knowing from Scriptures that present is all what we have, yet in the next unaware moment, we are back to the imaginative future, if not past. Even in language expression, we tend to express what we are not instead of what we already are – we put on a facade to hide the reality we are in and project what we want to be – often unaware that what we are doing is merely reinforcing our conjured meaning of lack.

Thus the journey of spirituality is to come to acknowledge what is here, now in the mind, without sugarcoating or denying it. It is pertinent to realize that when one is impatient with what one is acknowledging, as to expect a quick result from it – do realize that this itself is the seeking mind playing its game, again. Instead of seeking the future, it now seeks the present for the future. Observe how insidious ideas can be – manipulating its way for survival. The only key to the journey of awakening is not forgetting this truth – see (as it is) instead of seek.

It is indeed paradoxical the way ignorance works – when we held on to a certain pleasant experience expecting it to stay on a little longer we are to mean that without it, we are back to experiencing what is unpleasant – as if unpleasantness is awaiting us on the other end. Yet we need not wait too long for unpleasantness to appear as the expectation for it to stay on is unpleasant itself. Have you not notice each time when you have the feeling “how I wish it will stay on forever” that feeling is sadness? And isn’t that unpleasant?

Thus it is interesting to note when the Buddha said pain arises in two ways – from wanting and yet not getting what we want, and from not wanting yet getting what we don’t want. Thus our expectation is the cause of our woes and pain as wanting and not wanting are unreasonable. Unreasonable in the sense that ignorance does not see that whether we are in the position of want or not want – both are attachments to the idea that it must be a certain way – reality of what is has already happened and gone! It is only seemingly still perpetuating in our experience is because of our holding on to it.

Thus, when my friend tries to let go of her holding on, knowing that it is the holding on that is causing her pain, what she is not aware is that her wanting to let go of it is causing her further pain. You see, the nature of ignorance is strange – it does not acknowledge what is already here occuring and instead tries to create what is not here. Her mind’s holding on to a situation is what she is experiencing, but when she does not want to acknowledge this fact, she is only in her dishonesty tries to move away from it of something that she can’t move away from – its all in the head! To say she is dishonest is to a certain extent incorrect as that is not what she is able to realize yet. Instead, she tries to create another experience that is not presently here. More than that, she is creating an opposing experience other than what she is not willing to experience. So long as she is opposing it, unknowingly she is holding it back from being release – for to oppose something, you have to think of it.

The simple truth is this – what we resist will persist. Hence when we no longer put any energy to it as right or wrong but simply as happening happened – in full acknowledgment without giving further meaning – that acceptance releases the meaning of “it should not have happened”. In that instant moment, we are free. Do you see the paradox of freedom? To push away is to make it stay. To acknowledge is to set it free. Hence, freedom is not something one can do by trying to let it go as that doesn’t work at all. Freedom is a result of having right understanding of reality exactly as it is. Thus, pain – opposite of freedom – is actually a good marker or indicator informing us that there is an error happening in our space that is not in align with reality. Pain equates a mistaken view – opposing what reality is.

With this in mind, we will see pain not as wrong anymore but rather a teacher to help bring us back to sanity of what once was an insane view.

“Why it should happened? It’s because it happened! Why it should not happened? It’s because it has yet to happened.”