Of Me, From Me, To Me

Every meaning I give about the world must come from me hence it is about me, and for that, each meaning has its origin of me, from me, and to me. “Me” more accurately is the mind itself. When I see a “table”, that meaning is derived from the mind that sees and for that it is about me to take responsibility for what my mind sees. If I dislike the form of that table, that dislike too comes from the mind that interprets and thus it is also my responsibility to acknowledge it is where it comes from. In truth, I need not be responsible for the mind that I am having but since this mind is the only experience I am constantly in, whether I am responsible or not, I have to experience it, except 100% all the time. To take responsibility is to align with reality, so that my mind meaning does not create stress in my experience.

It is like a house that is dirty and unkept. If I am staying in it all the time, never leaving it, I have to face that situation irrelevant whether I accept or not accept it. To accept it as per given state is where I am in, not accepting it is where I am too – both are my own experiences. My house has nothing to do with another’s responsibility, for each of us have our own house to deal with. We have never once exchange houses nor have we left the house. Wherever we go, we bring that house with us. In truth, we are the house itself, since you or me cannot separate ourselves from the mind, at least for now. Hence if I were to choose to experience a neat house, I have to housekeep it first.

Thus when I am faced with an ugly situation, causing me to get upset, that meaning of ‘ugly’ is my mind’s perception and for that I am experiencing ugly – that meaning has never left me – not that the “ugly” is upon something that I see. In the same way, the upset has never left me, though to me it seems it is my right to be upset about it. Yes, I have the right to be upset and for that, upset is my experience – how can it be upon another that I must give responsibility to? I can’t in truth, say “you betrayed me” as that meaning has always come from my mind. For that I am saying “I choose to see betrayal in you” and for that I have to experience what I choose. I can’t not want to experience what comes from that meaning as it is derived of the mind, from the mind and returns to the mind. Can I then said, betrayal is actually me – never once left the source where it comes from at all?

I am entertaining myself all the time with the mind. I am entertaining upset, I am entertaining jealousy, I am entertaining unhappiness, not to mention all the emotions that I have all the time. I am only a victim to my house when I do not choose to be responsible for it – hence whenever you feel victimized you can be sure there is a non-responsibility towards our mind’s meaning. When I choose to clean up the mess I have unknowingly done, I am now choosing to experience what I wish to experience. Only then can I say I am the Master to the house. Only then the Master can experience the world in its pristine state, only to realize the pristine state of the world is deriving from Him, the One who can constantly choose. Only then Love is possible.

an entertainer I am
a joker
a jester
or a clown
or even a devil
a ghost
or a murderer
all witnessed
by myself
for myself
to myself
in the consciousness
here, there, I called the World

Meeting Delusion

Within the mind there’s this unique nature that fools perception into seeing reality in falseness. As long as the falseness is not realized, the reality is kept intact by delusional rightness. No matter how much another were to point out the distinction of its nature, the beholder of the falseness will see naught what is in front of him. That nature is delusion itself. It has the function of creating an optical illusion to what is being experienced. So long as delusion, or maya, is not recognized, one will be not be able to see Reality but instead perceived-reality.

In life, to be able to notice and recognize an object that is totally new and unknown to us, we must beforehand, has sufficient right knowledge and information of its characteristics. Only when complete information is been fully comprehended, what is not known will be known and what is oblivious will become obvious.

As an analogy to train a child to recognize a cat, spelling out c-a-t to him or seeking him to pronounce it will not help him to distinguish what a cat is like. Thus, a wise teacher will illustrate a cat or probably an image of a cat to match the spelling and its pronunciation, at the same time pointing to the child the unique characteristic that constitute a cat.  Having all these information repeatedly shown, when a child were to see an animal, irrelevant whether it is skinny, fat, black, white or furry, what he knows before hand matches what he sees and thus immediately recognize it as a cat and not dog or, for that matter, any other animal. More to that, to the child, a leopard, a tiger, or a civet is also a cat, except in its different form.

Similarly, when we have sufficient information how delusion is like, we will be able to see it in whatever forms delusion takes on. There are no specific curriculum that teaches us how to notice delusion but there are many unique statements made by Masters of the past that points us towards recognizing delusion. Words like “we are never upset for the reason we think it is”, “all betrayals are self-betrayal”, “nothing has permanent nature within it”, “mind is the forerunner of all things” – all these wise statements are pointing to a certain truth that we have yet not realized. These statements are not meant for us to mimic, imitate, or to believe; rather they are meant for us to explore how far these truth are true to our perception.

In truth, all scriptures found in any different faith are all having a common purpose and goal – assisting each individual to come to realize Reality and ultimately Truth; in offering right perception to see through the veil of delusion and thus to bring what was once misperceived to correction. Scriptures are meant to speak directly to each beholder in a very personal way, thus they are not meant as tool for conversion or instilling another. When one realized the true message of a Master and living it, her life becomes an exemplary for others to be inspired.

Scriptures in its rightful purpose are not something for us to segregate another, to rehearse, to challenge, or even to kept in memory without questioning – rather more appropriately, they are directions made for us to explore, to question our fixated misperceptions with relevance to what they expound, so that what is not seen will be seen; what is hidden will be revealed and what is not realized will be realized.

Blindly believing all these truth are insufficient for us to realize the realness of each meaning. Only when we ponder, observe and explore in depth the phrase, each time a certain related experience comes to mind, are we able to potentially come to a deep realization of what the Masters have all the while been conveying.

Birthday – Your Forgotten Song

a birthday
a celebration of absurdness
of memory unbearable to bring
buried, forgotten,
in deep sea of consciousness
where scene of comfort turns nightmarish
of unknown force appearing
of unfamiliar discomfort arising
of never before pushing experienced
of pain never before felt
in the tunnel of contraction
meeting delicateness
to a doorway unimaginably small

the giver of life struggling on her own
the receiver end in territory unknown
of meeting each comes in contact
yet unmet, unconscious of each
as one faced the discomfort of process

ho behold!
meaning of world comes to be
a stark reality never can imagined
of such contrast where it origined

vulnerable
naked off comfort
the world is met
of worthiness of struggle
awaits the end
ideas foreign consciousness absorb
I-ness of identity gradually comes to be
concepts of objects now familiar
an untold story then onwards.

and thus birthday is what it is
an added year reinstating identity
of imaginary separation seems to be
of hardship and joy transiency
in trivialness to each its own play
in facing the dance of music internally
yet within, consciousness dwells
only to experience its own over again
till life meets its death
and death to arise birth again

yet… beyond it all nothing really happened
nothing left, nothing gone
nothing born, nothing dies
a myriad only to be awakened
reinstate where One belong.

(4 July – dedicated to Dragonfly G whose life is a source of inspiration to many)