Category: General

You think you were mindless
as mindless it could get
And you think you were rarely present
whatever meaning present means to you
as the mind yo-yos and pendulums
from past and future
to and from
except the now

but wait a minute
are we haunting the past and the future
or the now is haunting us?
for what i think about the past
is now being experience
and what is in my imagination of the future
is also an experience of now
except of two different zone of time
called the NOW.

I am already always reliving the Now
like it or not
no matter how much I “disappear” from it
into my own la-la land of dreams
of absurd reality
of probably fears and elations
of unfathomable and nightmarish imagination
yet it has never left the Now
as all it is
is what I am experiencing
NOW

Is there a past, you ask me
I don’t know
what about the future
I dare not think
yet and yet
all these mindless
questions and answers
to each its own
is already occurring in the NOW
even if you call it mindless
to mean there is no mind to it
but yet they are all Mind experiences

Did I leave the Now?
Not once
Not in the near future
or in the past
but oops aren’t they all NOWs
gone into oblivion
rethought about it NOW?
Arrrggh….

NOW puts me into scene
forcing experience
what “I” is

NOW haunts me every moment
like it or not
until of a somehow
a strange magical moment
I awoke from it
to realize
it is all
the
MIND
together with its millions uncountable thoughts
including “me”, “I”, “you” and “we” meanings
pooof! disappears all along with it.

Awakened, Unblemished.
Unconditioned.

In the past unawake occupies Now, and Now awake is…

The proof of the pudding is in the taste. Similarly, the proof of one’s own spiritual endearment is in the resilience of facing again and again what comes up in the mind experiences arising at each moment without giving in to reaction. It can be as minor as the desire to talk to someone, or the urge to react to a situation or as challenging as to come to terms with one’s own inner fear without being compel to do anything about it.

In the normal context of life whenever we are faced with such compelled situation, the immediate response would be to succumb to the mind’s need by reacting to it. In reality we seldom “face” what comes up in the mind as they arise. “Face” here to mean taking them on exactly as it arise without needing to do anything with it. It may sound ridiculous not to react as meanings of “necessary”, “important”, “no choice” or “what if” comes into picture immediately, but surprisingly, these meanings are merely facade of one thing that constantly plague the human mind. It is this one thing that makes the meaning of suffering real. Take a peep into mind the next time any experience comes up, and it need not necessary be any “big” situation. It can be as “normal” as the urge to take a peep at your smart phone. What is it that propels that movement? Look deeply and one will see that familiar “one thing” – the experience of unease. It is this uneasy feeling that propels movement of any sort.

Sit back and try facing this uneasy feeling. And you can be sure the experience is not pleasant. Lots of meanings stormed from this space and that is when one is compelled to “do” something as if it is necessary to settle what is needed to be done, which in reality is merely a coy of our unconscious movement of distracting ourselves from facing this unease.

The mastery of one’s spiritual endeavour is in the potential of staying impartial to this experience and let it come and go and see through it beyond what is there. It is kind of a peaceful warrior of confronting our deepest dis-ease and yet not succumbing to fixing it in the form of attack or defending but merely doing nothing, to be precise, non-doing.

It takes guts, courage, patience, determination and even love to sit through it with all the meanings of necessity comes pounding one after another, yet one is unperturbed by it. This art of non-reaction has non-interference as its attitude, acceptance as its result and groundedness as its base. It is like a piece of stone grounded solidly upon the earth with winds of high velocity blowing from all different directions. Come what may and yet one is unmoved by it. This stability and impartiality is what the Masters of ages have offered to each disciple to develop –the ultimate surrendering – not to any one or being, but to the inner balance of giving up the egoic needs and trust the flow that comes from the sacredness within of each. A very simple instruction but yet probably the one and most difficult experience to arrive at in the world. It is not something one can do except through persistent and consistent reminder of stepping back and witnessing the working of the mind.

When one finally arrives into this field, whatever movement a person makes is no longer dictated by want or do not want but simply a facilitation of flow of what is at that point of time. If in the past one is compelled to do any action out of guilt, fear or unease, now it will simply be movement of love of what is there to be done, without any iota of resistance as the world is now seen as one with itself.

Most of us, if not all, would love to be free. In fact what we endeavor in life, like it or not, has its purpose of freedom as its end. We wish to earn more money so that we won’t be burdened by debts, meaning to be free. We want a relationship that allows support and also freedom to be who we are instead of being dictated. We want good health so that we won’t be bogged down by burden of immobility. We want a career that promises freedom of expression of our creativity and skills. Isn’t freedom what we are all seeking, albeit in different pathways and directions?

Yet many a times what we take on as a mission does not turn out to be what we envisioned. We start to feel trapped by what we are in. We feel bonded by whatever we thought in the beginning would seemingly give us freedom. In the midst of it, somehow, disillusion sets in. Probably we have been challenged to consider changing our directions, or maybe, fixing what is out there to fit into what we perceived as bondage. Whatever we do, we can be sure they are not resolutions to the equation that we have begun with.

Who on earth has been given lessons to be free except to find their own ways? Fortunately, there are teachings out there that can lead us to it yet many a times those teachings are pretty profound and illusive as they are merely symbols of symbols, many times misinterpreted when they finally reach our hands. By the time we work it out ourselves, what is left are the remaining years of god-knows-when number of days for us to enjoy that fleeting freedom that we have, hopefully, acquired. Even that many a times many still feel that freedom is still not it yet. What has gone wrong?

It is interesting how the entire game can be turned around by simply shifting our attitude towards the meaning of freedom.  Many a times, the word freedom is being defined by having the freewill to do what we like to do. In truth that meaning is already the beginning of bondage – for that is where we give limitations to what is either already in our space or what is coming to our space. We go against the nature of reality that what is in our space is not what we want – we want it otherwise by dictating that what we want is what should happen.  Well, as we all would have known by now, that can never happen – not in the past, not now and not even in the future. For our wants are merely from the direction of what we do not want – a tainted wish that is exactly what we are asking for and hence has to be experience as such repeatedly – not wanting, again and again.

The secret to freedom is this – what is here is already perfect as it is – resisting it merely creates the illusion of bondage for what is already here is in perfect freedom, freed from your should and should not. It is all in the mind, as the saying goes. Hence flowing with it merely reflects what is already here in process – freedom! Only by experiencing  the little moment of this kind of freedom can the ultimate Freedom be achieved, if ever there is such a thing! Isn’t it illogical to experience constant running hoping to ultimately find freedom at the end? Isn’t it more true by facing whatever bondage is freedom found? The meaning “facing” is not about confronting or having a showdown with what bothers us but rather acknowledging, and importantly, not interfering with what is, either through resisting or fixing it so that what is here is being given a voice to be known. Only then can you figure out and recognize the source from where it springs from.

Thus the next time when you feel triggered by resisting or moving away from a situation, consider turning around your attitude – instead of other’s need is not my need, how about trying the other way of – other’s need is indeed my need – what is it that I am not listening? I am not inviting doormats into your space but rather the world is merely reflecting me either directly or indirectly – what is outside merely points to me what and where I have erred. Surely there is a better way of resolution instead of continuously running away from it, interpreting the situation as burden or bondage. As a Tibetan saying goes – the more you run away from suffering, suffering will keep chasing after you :).