Category: General

I can only give what I own or what I have. I can’t give what does not belong to me. But the meaning “have”, “own” or “belong” exist only at the mind level, but not the body. It will be correct to say that all these connotations have a further meaning of possession in it. Considering that possession is a mind interpretation, then it would be hypothetically correct to say that when we look at all objects in the world or for that matter everything in the world, whether it is as close as to my pocket, or something that is out there, like a house, a car or a company, they are all lifeless as it can be, merely objects for usage, but not to hold on.

Even the body cannot be said is mine except as a tool for use, for me to experience life. But, that does not equate to me not having to take care of what does not belongs to me. In fact, that’s the problem when the meaning of possession comes into play – what is mine I take fervent care of and what is not mine is none of my business. Imagine if possession is totally out of question but instead everything is here for me to experience, then the meaning of respect comes into picture as I am merely a passerby connecting with what is here for me; for soon it can pass my way for another to experience it. Though others may not be able to experience the body that I am having but yet they can too, share the experience of what I use with my body.

Imagine giving a clear definition of a world of objects and a world of minds and what we get is that what is physical is lifeless, and what is non physical, unseen and intangible, is the only interaction the mind has with each other. If this is truly a realization instead of merely intellectual information, then I will be free with what is within my reach. I will realize that money is only a means for me to use, not to hold back. The house is not my own except a shelter for me to be under. My mind will then has no definition of resisting or holding on to any objects as it clearly sees that the meaning of possession or belonging does not make any difference or impact to what is already here for me to experience except dis-ease. Whether the watch is mine or not makes no difference to the watch per se. Only my interpretation of it makes me use the watch recklessly or caringly. My ideas dictate the fate of watch.

For that when I am holding back my giving, I have to reconcile with my ideas – what ideas am I having that disallow me to give freely – only then can I be free. Thus, giving, in absolute truth, is an illusion – as, if there is nothing that belongs to me, how is then giving possible? Would it be correct to say that giving is encouraged simply because there is a holding back in my mind? That the act of giving is to nullify the meaning of possession at the mind level so as to bring us back to freedom?

Hence when I give, I don’t give because I am happy to give or because I have something to give but rather out of a clear understanding that each quality of giving is an indication of how much I have held on to the meaning of possession, an idea that binds me to an illusion. I can’t cheat myself from saying that since nothing belongs to me there is nothing to give, for I can only know when I am being faced with the test of giving. Similarly, when I am being given the opportunity to receive, am I in resistance? What am I holding back that disallows me to receive freely? Both giving and receiving are merely opposite sides of the same coin – showing me how much I held on to ideas that give me the meaning of what is right and wrong. Clinging is the problem, not the world. Ignorance is the cause.

Never mind the refund. Not even lodging a complaint. In the very first place, I didn’t even ask to be in this amusement park without having an end to it, where I can walk out as freely as I entered. Neither am I aware that getting my way out of this park is another game I need to figure out, besides what this park offers. It is not stated in the rules before I stepped into this darned nightmare.

Welcome to Elm Street or closer to a newer version of disillusionment, Inception, where dreams are carried into multidimensional layers. Isn’t that what life is all about? Obviously we can only know what we know and not know what we do not know and thus to have this latest movie at our local screen is a confirmation that we are so well-versed with this thing called life that we are able to create unimaginable, though not unfamiliar, stories out of it – while we await our turn to find our way home.

But who was I prior to entering this park? Or do I really exist except as a residual memory of disconnectedness? What if I was to find my ticket home, will I, at the very eleventh hour, resist? Though I am pretty tired of the games this park has to offer, yet there are many a times the happiness I get from the little experiences in between makes me feel otherwise.  But then again, after each exhilarating moments, I am left with an unanswered question of what’s next? The darn thing about it is that I keep forgetting. Seems like this is one of the many unseen rules that exists in this park – that makes me replay the game again and again, albeit in a fresh but yet not unfamiliar game, having similar endings of boredom that propels the what’s next idea popping up in my head.

The great thing about this park is that I am given the freedom to create my own game, along with the set of obvious rules I have to subscribe to. Mind you, the rules are further categorized into seen and unseen. The unseen rules are pretty tricky as they manipulate my perceptions and trap me further into the game.

The seen or obvious rules are four by default, where I am not able to manipulate and change – that there is a beginning and an end to each game, with in betweens of intermittent breakdowns and gradual degeneration. And if I were to play the game unfinished between these four, I have to continue a fresh game somewhere, someplace, somehow – within this borderless multidimensional confinement of the park and without having prior memories of what I have created. Well, we humans have cleverly coined the four as birth, death, sickness and aging to define the seen rules. These four rules are unavoidable. Other than these, everything goes.

One of the unseen rules, causal relationship of cause and effect is primarily the underlying condition to the whole theme of the park. It makes change possible. The word eternity though exist in our human language, does not exist in reality. It only defines a long period of unknown time without change in it. Where there is change, eternity is out of question as the game may get unimaginably unpredictable, unfolding or ending abruptly. Change creates the meaning of time and space, distance and length, forms and transitions. The four seen rules are governed by this primary unseen rule of cause and effect.

Due to the nature of these seen and unseen rules, hence there exist the seen and unseen experiences. For example, what can be seen may be pleasant, but yet in the unseen, the unpleasantness is lurking, unknown to the beholder. For that is the nature of occurrences in this game – that they exist in pairs, in duality opposites. The like and dislike seems to be the main reaction to each experience within the game. As the game unfolds itself unpredictably, the reactions unfold itself predictably within the confinement of both like and dislike in forms of desiring and resisting, holding on and pushing away, inclining or declining.

Rarely are there impartial responses to each experience in the game. But one thing I am certain; where there is impartiality experience of object and subject relationship, a shift is felt – the game seems to take on a twist – an ending of sort. For that I have to be aware, to be mindful of the play of the unseen rules, a force that propels me to go further. Once this force is understood, the ending journey of the game begins; the undoing of what I have created in unknown immemorial time. And as the tiny light is found at the end of the tunnel, I am seeing the possibility of ending the game within the game to find my way home safe – the home that is unconditioned, uncausal, uncreated, and eternity…

While driving back home from a function last evening my eyes caught on to a rear sticker of a car that read “forgive your enemies”. For a brief moment, I pondered on the silliness of that statement. Not that I am judgmental about what others have to say but rather after long being with the mind, knowing a little more about how it functions, I wonder how could it be possible at all to forgive someone that we are still labelling as enemy.

The world’s teaching, sad to say, religion without exception, be it in the past, even now, is consistently about doing. Are these statements too familiar to you – “I am caught in a tangle of trying to do, trying to live right. I don’t know how to not think or worry or control. I don’t know how to let go.”

Did you not start to realize that this voice has never failed in reminding you to keep doing? Yes, you need not even to remember, for you will be reminded again and again as if there is a confidant or confidante (if ever there is such a thing as a male or female inner voice) in each of us that tells us of what to do next – a private and confidential secretary of sort. Not that we are not forgetful – in fact majority of us are, for reasons we can’t comprehend of late as more and more people are complaining about forgetfulness – the thing we can’t forget, though we want it to, is the voice that keeps reminding us “what to do”, “how to do”. Have you not notice? If only this damned voice leave us to our peace and allow us a moment to savour what is in for us, NOW.

Instead of what or how to do next, which is about ignoring the present, we seldom stay in the moment and question what is going on or how and why is this happening. When we don’t pause and ponder on the present, we are only denying the present by covering up what becomes the past, allowing it to fester deeper. Instead of allowing the next step to arise from understanding, we make the next step a denial of what has occurred. To glimpse this eternal truth is the beginning of our integrity.

It doesn’t matter whether it is a thought of worry, anger, frustration, joy or happiness, so long as there is this sanity that allows us to recognize that each and every experience that comes into the our picture is an experience, not something for us to resist, to hold on to. Instead of taking the next step, we explore what is here for us. For each experience points the way to our cause, usually a dysfunctional cause. Experiences are merely effects of what our causes are churning out each moment. Only when we recognize the cause can we naturally change the course of our future. It cannot be otherwise as all changes can only occur through understanding, not through ignorance. Whatever resist, have to persist.

The journey of our inner spirit reminds us to pause and to remember that the voice in the head is merely a voice, an echo of the past or the future – devoid of essence except a resound. But this we forget. We forget to be mindful of the voice and instead fall into its prey. The voice of the ego seems to be more attractive than the voice of the spirit – never failing us at each moment whereas the spirit has to be recalled as if it is seldom there for us. Or is it because we choose not to listen?

We choose not to listen to the voice that says “enemy”. We choose not to listen to the voice that says “forgive”.  When we hear the voice in our head forgive your enemy, we are quick enough to jump in and do the necessary. We give the voice a gospel truth. The voice “enemy” confirms in us that the party is wrong. The voice “forgive” confirms that we are right. But no matter how hard we try to forgive, the voice “enemy” keeps popping up in our head. And we try a little more. We enlist ourselves in counselling, in workshops, in whatever courses we can grip on to release from the tyranny of this enemy. But where is the enemy except in our mind? And where is forgiveness except a voice in our head? So long as the voice keeps going, genuine forgiveness is impossible. So long as the meaning of enemy persists, unforgiveness has to follow. How can it be otherwise?

To forgive is to make another wrong, in our mind. Instead of healing our thoughts towards others, we condemn them to eternity, by forgiving them. Forgiving is not a doing, is not a thought but rather a realization stem from understanding of a situation. When all these conditions are met, genuine forgiveness arises naturally. The meaning “enemy” simply drops off from the mind without me needing to do anything about it. It does itself.

Hence the importance of staying present and to allow the inner spirit to guide me to understand the situation by giving myself the interest to know what is the cause of the voice in the head. Does the voice enemy have much to do with what I am not accepting? Has it much to do with what is against my ideal? Is there any truth to my truth? Does the voice forgiveness have to do with righteousness? That I am right and others are wrong? That I am compelled to pardon others for the wrong they have done instead of genuinely recognizing that what others have done is not something I could pardon except to understand? Who am I to pardon or even to judge, when I can’t even see the same infesting in me, albeit a different degree? That no matter how much pardon or forgiveness for another, those ideas have never left me? Forgiveness is for myself, not for another. I am my own Enemy, and no other. I have never left myself except in my own delusion.

I can’t do forgiveness. Forgiveness does me. When I meet with understanding, forgiveness unfolds. Forgiveness is none of my business, except my work in understanding the mind.