Illusion to Reality

There is something weird and ridiculous going on in the mind that I am experiencing. And it is something absurd that needs wisdom to recognize. Any mundane way of perceiving only create confusion, and probably, protest.  As such I would invite you to have an open mind to what is being shared.

Allow me to lead you on so as to get a clear glimpse of this reality. The world as I experienced is not truly reflecting the world that is within me. The freewill I experienced is not as free as I thought. Whatever choice I made out of freewill is not a choice but rather conditioned by my past ideas – for that I truly does not have a choice except under the influenced of my past perception.

As I invite myself to observe the mind, I come to realize that there is not even one thing that I can say is mine – for everything is coming and going at its own accord. Like nature, everything flows on, irrelevant whether I hold on to it or not. There are two realities going on at each moment.  One is the definition I am giving, the other is what is. Irrelevant what I defined, the world is is. My definition is my reality but this reality is far from truth. This reality is inconsistent to what is.

The watch on my hand belongs to me – the “belongs to me” is only occurring in the mind. This idea never left the mind and it never will. The watch will remain a watch without an owner except my definition I put upon it. Whatever meaning I put upon it becomes my inner reality but that does not at all change anything out there.

If one day I am being mucked and the watch has to go, the watch does not “go” except being transferred to another person. My meaning “the watch is mine” makes me felt it has left me. In the first place the watch has never left me or belongs to me. Since I have the idea it “belongs to me”, I could not help having another idea it has “left” me.

Because I did not see this truth, the storyline of ignorance have to be prolonged – I have the meaning that the person stole my watch. Even though it is no longer with me, I am still having the thought that it is mine. “It is mine” is only my own thought – irrelevant the watch is here or there or anywhere. “It is mine” is my cause of misery, not what has happened. My experience is not dependent on what happened but rather how I perceived. My perception creates my feeling – not the situation, event or anyone else for that matter.

I played with my own toys and made those toys real to me, and for that I got threatened by my own reality, a fabrication of an illusion.

What about my child, my house, my money, my company, my property, my body? Every meaning of “my” attached to what is is creating my own storyline of nightmares.

It is because of the “my” meaning attached to things, wise teachers of the past encourage us to give as an act of generosity. I can only give things that “belong to me”. The act giving is just an act to nullified my meaning of possession, for if there is no true possession how can there be also a true meaning of giving. If possession is an illusion of the mind, surely giving is also an illusion. But since I can’t see possession as an illusion I have to let go of my possession through giving.

Isn’t that weird and ridiculous? What is existence but an absurd meaningless endeavor. To go beyond mind is Peace.

Sometimes I do wondered why on earth am I writing these stuff on my own blog considering that spirituality is not something for anyone, unlike entertainment, personal life or even food. But having said that, isn’t spirituality is what life all about? When I was asking my wife’s physician this morning whether he will still be doing the yearly Lunar New Year pilgrimage to China to update his professional skills in chinese medicine, he answered that he wont but instead  going into some kind of a retreat to know himself better. He said it is always a joyful journey in knowing oneself.

I am glad he said that as majority of our spiritual journey, including mine, is filled with challenges and trepidation. Sometimes it take numerous years to finally come into deeper understanding of what we are spiritually pursuing. Prior to that, the journey can be filled with trials, tribulations and errors. But often than not, ignorance makes us think that we are spiritually higher than others until we wake up from it years later. To enter a spiritual path is like entering a forest of roses – where thorns await the passerby. One can either give attention to the roses, to the thorns or to both.

There are some who come into spirituality after an unresolved crisis or illness. It is like a wake-up call for them to seek further clarity or understanding on how to resolve their issues amicably. Yet there is another type of people who come into spirituality after going through meaninglessness in life. By the way, it is rather interesting to observe that there are quite a number of people who think that meditation or retreat are only for those who are seriously wrong or mentally unwell. To them meditation is a treatment for mental disorders.

There are lots of myth going around what meditation is. Fortunately, Dr Jon Kabat-Zinn has done a great service to the world by introducing meditation into the mainstream healthcare in US during the 70s and has now been accepted as an important healing modality. Mindfulness meditation, though originated from Buddhism, has nothing at all to do with religion except a way of developing quality states of mind. It is about addressing the pain and suffering of the nature of mind. I trust most major faith are towards this direction. Beyond that, mindfulness meditation also offers a way into deeper mental freedom and mental peace.

I remembered once my meditation teacher said that it is not so important to meditate as to recognize what ideas are we running in our mind all the time. To him that is meditation. It is not about sitting cross-legged, closing the eyes, and controlling the mind. On the contrary, meditation is about understanding the mind through continuous mindfulness and observation, without needing to change our life routine. What is only required is the training in directing our attention inwards instead of outwards. Overtime we would naturally be compelled to change our lifestyle rather than being forced into changing it, as when we become more aware of ourselves we would be able to recognize and appreciate what is essential and inessential to our peace of mind.

And that makes the difference between spirituality and religion. Religion is about form. Spirituality is about essence – our inner beingness – that is basic to all humankinds, irrespective of race, culture or color. Religion shows us the way to our beingness, our practise of the way brings us into realizing our beingness, our own spirituality. Without applying and practising what we know, religion is as meaningless as another knowledge that clutters the mind. Yet there are many who comes into spirituality without entering into any form of religion.

The journey is pretty a personal matter and thus there is no reason for rush and quick fix. When conditions are ripe, everything will fall into its own place, whether one likes it or not, simply because we are all Nature – having its own flow. Listen to your heart.

The mind is continuous seeking. Seeking to entertain itself. Or seeking to escape boredom? Both are derived from the same center which is always in the now. It is because of immediate boredom that I seek out entertainment. One is in the past, the other in the future. What is it that I am not at peace now that I am seeking further gratifications?

I seek new friends, I seek new food, I seek new excitement, I seek for a new phone, I seek out new places, I seek for another new movie, I seek new toys, new gadgets, new information, new stuff –  just to keep me entertained. Have I not noticed – I keep chasing for something new, something thrilling just to satisfy my needs? It is rather strange I did not observe these before, or is it that I do not want to face? How long has these been going on? I am amused – I look around and found the same with everybody. Are we doing time of some sort, entertaining ourselves to escape from boredom, a boredom born out of an unseen prison of bondage? Are we creating toys to entertain ourselves?

People getting angry with each other – street protest, demonstration for peace, unhappy with a waitress, impatient with a traffic jam, upset with things around – they are just another way of the mind in entertaining itself, when it could not get what it wants.

Could it be because of boredom games are created? Games with rules to thrill. To make me stir. To make me glued to a set, as there are no other things that is exciting. What is going on that I am not aware off? Am I a walking zombie, killing time, as if, there is a deep frustration that I am not seeing. What is it that is bugging me that keeps me on this wheel of insatiable thirst of seeking?

The mind is creating new toys, new ways of entertaining itself ….

“… You do but dream, and idols are the toys you dream you play with. Who has need of toys but children? They pretend they rule the world, and give their toys the power to move about, and talk and think and feel and speak to them. Yet everything their toys appear to do is in the  minds of those who play with them. But they are eager to forget that they made up the dream in which their toys are real, nor recognize their wishes are their own.

“Nightmares are childish dreams. The toys have turned against the child who thought he made them real. Yet can a dream attack? Or can a toy grow large and dangerous and fierce and wild? This does the child believe, because he fears his thoughts and gives them to the toys instead. And their reality becomes his own, because they seem to save him from his thoughts. Yet do they keep his thoughts alive and real, but seen outside himself, where they can turn against him for his treachery to them. He thinks he needs them that he may escape his thoughts, because he thinks the thoughts are real. And so he makes anything a toy, to make his world remain outside himself, and play that he is but a part of it.

“There is a time when childhood should be passed and gone forever. Seek not to retain the toys of children. Put them all away, for you have need of them no more.”

As I type the above excerpt from A Course in Miracles, an extract taken from the book Your Immortal Reality, I could not help but to feel a deep surge of peace arising from knowing what is it like when the toys are been put away.

Stop seeking and you will find…