You Know Me and Yet You Know Me Not

You see me not
yet you sense I am around
I am not here
I am not there
I am everywhere
Yet, I am not everywhere
Neither am I above
nor below
Inside
or outside
yet I am all
but none of these are true
except my ability to conjure them all.

Who am I?
what am I?
where am I?
it’s up to you to realize
so long as you have not
you will always find me, or you, a mystery.

You cry
you laugh
you feel
you think
whatever you name it
you are constantly
fed by me
drawn by me
survived by me;

and when you finally start
to get to know me
you will be surprised
how immerse I am in you
including “you”

In the beginning you will find it strange
for the first time without me
as naked as you can feel
and yet somehow freedom is what it is
but then again when you finally realized
it doesn’t matter anymore
for like a dream
you are awakened from me
heeding me no more
for I am simply the illusion,

I am the Mind.

Let Love instead of Guilt, Wisdom instead of Ignorance

Each experience of guilt found in the mind, has its root of ideas born from the unquestioned belief of right or wrong. It is a blind belief incepted into an individual’s mind through ignorance. A wisdom mind seldom see experiences as right or wrong but rather as wise or unwise.

While in retreat a friend shared with me how she felt terribly guilty of taking brief naps between her practises. She felt it was wrong to be sleepy and thought there was something not right about her. After much sharing and inquiring she came to realize there is no reason for her to judge her experiences, at the same time also learning a skill to use her sleepiness as a means of inquiry as part of her meditative practice rather than trying to fight against it. I too have my fair share of guilt upon arrival on the first day of the retreat, but being a long time practitioner, I was already prepared for its arrival instead of allowing it to get a grip on me. Due to old diehard ideas, guilt may still arise, but I have a choice of questioning where its source is instead of buying into it and being led by it. It will be better to learn through understanding than judgments as we will then be able to discern clearly whether our sleepiness is genuinely coming from tiredness, boredom or resistance. In this way we are able to make better choices based on wisdom rather than from fear or ignorance.

Meditation is a journey of undoing and when we don’t have a discerning mind of inquiry we are adding ignorance to our practises instead of cultivating more wisdom for the purpose of total freedom.
Many a times in our life, our restraint comes more from buying into people’s idea of what is right and wrong. Yes, as a child, we may not have the discerning power of differentiating actions that are wholesome or unwholesome and thus the need to be taught at earlier stages rather than learning through experiences. But as we grow into maturity, our ability to discern also increases yet seldom do we put this skill into practical use. Many a times we still hold on to old beliefs that no longer serve our higher purpose.

Guilt is rampant in our society and it is through guilt we impose judgements and punishment onto others, notwithstanding ourselves when we come into self-conclusion of what is right and wrong or good and bad. Seldom do we bring up the compassion within us to try to understand where the source of pain is and what it takes to be motivated towards bringing suffering to oneself and others. Who would enjoy imposing suffering unless they do not know any better? Surely there are unquestioned old ideas that they have not met, just as we have not questioned our ancient ideas that continuously betray us into more suffering. Only by resolving the root can a person come into wholeness again. That is what meditation is all about – developing quality state of mind that is conducive to our freedom and peace.
I remember coming across a spiritual teacher who still teaches by means of guilt instead of love. Obviously he has not understood his mind well enough and thus has to use old ideas which he has not questioned to teach the truth. Truth is about unblocking what is causing our bondage and costing our freedom, so to introduce guilt into our system of learning is only compounding our suffering further which we are already trying to get out of but do not know how.

As a yardstick, the path of Truth teaches love and wisdom, instead of fear and ignorance. May you consistently be guided towards greater freedom.

Past and Future is but NOW

The past has always been in the present as what is not resolved in the so-called past is always being brought back into the present. In truth what is not resolved in the present is brought forward into the next present, and probably another umpteen presents until what needs to be resolved, resolves itself through completion, by way of understanding and realization.

The act of resolving seems to go back into time but really, it goes forward in time. It undoes the past in the present and thus releases the future. And what is future but another present presenting itself again. Past, present and future are not separate, except seen in linear experience. In fact without the experience of time, past and future are always each presenting itself in the present moment. Hence it will be true to conclude that the problem of the present is in reality, the same problem unresolved from the past, albeit shown in a different storyline now.

Life is like a kaleidoscope, presenting itself anew, of what is old. The glass chips never change except in positioning and with it creates a new pattern. The drama and storyline unfolds in everyone tells the history of what was in the past, repeated again once more, and yet another, until what needs to be learned is learned thus totally released. For it is what is not learned and released is what needs to be repeated. Hence the lesson of the spiritual journey is in constant lookout for what is being clung onto – the attachment and resentment we have upon the world, for each present itself a tiny invisible hook, making what seemingly is in the present to repeat itself in the future. In reality there is nothing that can be clung unto except the illusion of the mind holding steadfastly to it. Due to its ignorance, the game of holding on persists into the next immediate now, called the future. Hence future is not somewhere separated from the now, but a continuous unbroken stream of illusion brought to be experienced again and again.

Without what is clung on, whence the future? The undoing is for that purpose – forgiving our brothers and sisters for what they have not done. Forgiving ourselves for what we have not done. For what is done now is actually a brought forward of the past – without seeing this reality, we cling on further to what has perpetuated in the past and proliferate it to the future, hence the experience of rebirth. Rebirth only seemingly occurs due to the illusion of clinging on. Since clinging on is illusionary, surely rebirth is illusionary too. But only when one realizes the folly of its delusion, else what is unreal is made real, as in a dream where everything comes alive, where a nightmare can be a misery until one wakes up from it. Even a happy dream will still be, a dream, until, one wakes up from it.

Hence to wake up to the reality of illusion is what wisdom is. To recognize and to realize that what is experienced in the here and now is merely a perception manifesting itself again through the senses. For it is through the senses that the world is experienced. Thus it will be correct to say that the world is found in perception and all the time occurring in the mind of each. The world is in the mind, not the other way.