Surrendering and Mastering

Intentions are not visible, but yet can be known by me. But when I am not trained to be present to intentions, I would not be aware of its presence, I would not at all know that intention is the mover of the world. Behind those intentions are all my ideas about the world.

Where there is a desire for wanting or not wanting, I have already missed the mark of reality. I thought that by wanting, things comes my way or that when I don’t want, things will move away from me. Both are far from truth. Things never come or move away from me for they are a part of my experience. How can I take away what is in my experience? When I want something, my experience is “want”, not the something. Similarly, when I don’t want something, my experience is “don’t want’ – and again not that something. Thus anything that I project out to the world becomes my experience.

My experience is an effect of the cause of my projection. Can I do away want and don’t want and instead work on the cause so that the experience is exactly what the cause is intending? Yes and no. Yes in the sense that everything is my creation. No in the sense that so long as I want or don’t want – not seeing the illusion of this misfit – what I get is just these two. I may get the result, probably after much tussle and hassle, but that does not reflect exactly my true intention for what I intent comes with the illusion of misfits.

My effect reflects my cause. Thus what I experienced is exactly what I intended. If I intend with a want, I have to experience the want to finally come to what I want. At times I may not get what I want, as my want comes from the misfit of frustration and resignation along the way, which also culminates exactly to what I intent. I only work with what is visible, not trusting or realizing that the invisible is the greater force that is creating my experience,.

I want a parking space and I intent a parking space is a different thing all together. One is focusing on the effect and the other on the cause. One is about the future and the other in the now. When I intent, or create, I trust the process will take its course. When I want, which is also a kind of intent, but a misfit intent, I do not trust the process but try manipulating the process to fit to my want. Many a times getting into the way of the process instead of allowing nature to take place, brings me to a distorted experience rather than the actual experience.

Want and don’t want is an illusion that I took up – it placed me in a position of a victim rather than a master. When I truly see through the illusion of want and don’t want, I am ready to be my own master of creation. I take full responsibility of every experience that comes my way and for that I choose to experience what I trust to experience through conscious creation.

I can only see this greater force coming my way when I drop the mentality of grasping, of wanting and not wanting. And this is my work in progress.

6 Replies to “Surrendering and Mastering”

  1. It is my intention to reach wisdom, to reach full awareness, to reach awakened state.. (you know what I am trying to say… reaching the ultimate goal?).

    Another sentence will be, I want to be wise, be aware, be awakened, be the ultimate goal.

    Hardly any difference.

    I intent to be wise or to reach wisdom. So, now I create (create what ?) and trust the process will bring me to wisdom, finally. Let’s say, I create time to meditate (is this the example of ‘creating’ in the ‘now’?). Why along the journey ‘doubts’ arise whether I am ‘creating’ it ‘right’? or even ‘intent’ it right?

    Why the doubts ? Because there isn’t any convincing sign that I am moving toward wisdom, it seems Is this really ‘a want’, a misfit ‘intent’ which the effect (of future) shall fit my want ?

    Is the real ‘intent’ (e.g. to reach wisdom) is to trust and leave it to the process even though all signs do not point toward wisdom? even if all signs seem to be pointing the other way around? Funny thing is I dont even what wisdom is at this point !!!! (Example, I intent to be a saint, yet I ended being a devil – the sign – I was locked in jail for ‘devilish’ act instead of praying on the altar)

    How exactly I should trust the process ? Blind faith ? Up to the extent of becoming a ‘devil’ ?

    I am sorry if I am sounded arguing, but this is really my issue on this journey on ‘wanting’ the truth, nothing but the Truth (even if I am all confuse of what the truth is)

  2. Wow it is truly a very fine line to distinguish between want and intent. The latter is a desire that comes with faith and surrender.

    Will I also be right to say that one comes from the mind while the other comes from the heart. One from the space of ego while the other from the space of love, e..g I want a parking space…I need to park my car while the other would be I love to have a parking space to park my car…there is a distintive variance in the emotion in this 2 scenario.

  3. It is a chicken and egg situation. To know whether you have wisdom is wisdom at work. Wisdom knows. Ignorance also knows. It takes wisdom to know both. Words are tricky but what is more true is what is going on in the mind. Is it motivated by desire or resistance (want or not wanting) which is ignorance at work, sometimes refers to as defilements – as it defiles the mind from clarity. Or is it motivated by wisdom, which is not about getting anywhere or wanting anything but simply working on the groundworks (causes) that leads to the destination. In other words, wisdom recognize that it is not by focusing on the destination but rather on the journey that culminates in the destination as in the entry The Taste of the Pudding is in the Eating.

    The entire journey of growth is not about arriving at something or anywhere but rather being inquisitive of the very journey itself. We have always been taught to focus on the destination in our norm and that is exactly what it does – trapping us again and again in frustration and futility. To give ourselves a new way of thought, by recognizing that the old way has not work at all in our past, is to give ourselves the benefit of doubt into the unknown. All our knowing has not brought us any further into the nature of our mind. So it is time to embrace the unknown, to trust and to be inquisitive as we welcome the unknown. Zen calls it the beginner’s mind.

  4. It is interesting that you use the word “desire” for the space of faith and surrender. Language is pretty limiting. One man’s meat is another man’s poison. You have the gist correct but what is truly your understanding and realization, no one can tell, except you. I am sure if you are able to recognize a distinction between both then you will know which is spirit and which is ego – all these can only be experienced by you, pointed out by masters of the past. The path is our walking, no one can walk for us. The path is a pathless path that reveals itself between the lines of form. That is the essence of all teachings. Go beyond form and there lies the treasure. Read the quotation entry by Antoine de Saint-Exupery.

  5. i just follow my heart. For me comparing with other human experience or wisdom or even my own unwise ways always cause inner sorrow or conflict. I have start to accept just what is and not to fully trust the belief or even the words or language created by human mind, I can let go of the words of my past language. For example the word boring now affect me and I let go of this word out of my mind for the moment, that is now.And it works for the moment – that what is important to me – for to me thoughts and emotions are often momentary – even if it is years of memories, it is express only in this moment.

  6. Indeed changing are all phenomena and to see its meaninglessness is to experience freedom and peace for that moment.

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