Oh! Ye Craving

Your familiar face
I saw you before
And I saw you approaching
and I knew you came waiting
as Waiting in disguise
waiting to strike again
one more time

what was beginning innocence
turns out savage
though in subtle tone
yet poisonous it could be
never was the person
but a force unbeknownst
upon the messenger

you are skilled
slipping in behind the beholder
without her knowing
making her a puppet
to your desire
of wanting to ravage again one more time
and yet it was so easy to identify
the sly you take on others
the innocence
into savagery
killing her one more time
of opportunity
that may have befitted her awakening

Yet you know
she cannot really die
except in her dream
you came in
using her for your means
to quench the bloody thirst
of the craving you are accustomed to

Her innocence
you care not
for your importance and need
is all your concern
doesn’t matter she is spiritual
doesn’t matter he is in the brink of suicide
doesn’t matter she is at the doorstep of insanity
or he, at an inch of enlightenment
you came in waiting
patiently like a butler
a butler in disguise,
of death certainty
robbing another opportunity to awake

There’s something precious which you knew
but never for you to own
for once that is tasted
your game is over
leaving you a pauper, except many more others to possess.

You are unseen
yet you are as close as death
or as close as breath
waiting at each moment to strike
when your enemy of Vigilance
went a disappearing act
for all your concern is just to quench
the twilight saga
of your bloody thirst
of craving
one more time.

Whom have you not cheated
of innocence turns savagery
whom have you not killed
of potentials not seen
whom have you not robbed
of sweet dreams so dear
and whom have you not lied
of truth that was so near
and yet so far

how can I reach her
without you knowing
except you aware of me approaching
playing the game of hide and seek
so that the left hand knows not what the right is doing
again many a times
there is only me and you
as my Beloved stayed in slumber
in her castle of dreams
awaiting me to reach her
from your mighty sword of illusion

do I care for her
of course I do
do I not care of her
of course I do too
for it was never about her
as her innocence is still intact
but about You
that I am mastering to know
for you too came to me
many a times, again
unknown to me
robbing me at the doorstep of Love
which was meant to be shared
to awakened the dreamer from her dream

By seeing her
I see you one more time
as clearly as a crystal sky
overshadowing her innocence
stopping me for a brief moment
from reaching out instantly to the Beloved
liken a checkpoint of a border
a fastidious barrier I have to constantly face
of trips that I have to make to and fro
to connect those of the Realm of Dreams
to wake them up once more

I am getting to know you, lovingly, once again
of days approaching fairly soon
that one day, one Loving Day
that moment will come
where You and I will meet for the last truce
at least within my space but not the Barrier
disengaging from you finally
to be free to cross the Border in freewill
without needing your permission
except the surrendering of another
for me to merge once again.

Until then,
I am getting to know you better
one more time.

Freedom, Here

Look at the street
Look at those passing by
Look at those alone
Look at the many souls

And look at those sitting by the roadside stalls
Bemused by the conversations
they are having.

In the midst of what they are up too

be they lost in transitions
in conversations

in thoughts
in making ends meet
in pursuing health
in making yet another relationship work

whatever,

do you get what they are trying to get

and that which includes your trying of the same?

do you know what is motivating you

to do what you do?
be it in career,
relationships

health
money
spirituality
sex
enjoyment
whatever…

isn’t it freedom that you seek?

isn’t that what motivates you to seek for approval
isn’t that what makes you pursue wealth
isn’t that what makes you to take care of your health
isn’t that what makes you look for a stable career
isn’t that what makes you choose your relationship
isn’t that what makes you wanna experience ecstatic orgasm

all for that glimpse of freedom that seems fleeting?

whatever you do
you are simply, unknowingly, seeking freedom

and isn’t that what brings
a person to seek spirituality
to relief himself

from the tyranny of what he perceives
as bondage?

hence it does not matter
whether one is spiritual over another
or whether one is seeking spirituality or not
but to bear in mind
all are spiritual
except many have yet to know
barking at the wrong tree

and those already know
and yet
may still miss the purpose altogether.

for

freedom is already here
whether you are free or not
except your awakening to it.

The Fabricator

Do you not see the mind
in constant suspicion
in apprehension
in assumption

in guessing game
in making conclusion
that has no relevancy to what is?
Do you not see
even if it is true
even if it is what you see, observe or think
it is merely an interpretation of what is?

conjuring
fabricating
imitating
copying
what is here
yet what is all done
is merely a facade

of something deeper
of something not understood
manifesting itself

as seeking approval
of unworthiness
of being not good enough?

what is it
that is not known?
hence hidden from sight
for what is known
to be revealed
Here at this moment
is where you can find
not by outward appearance
or inward interpretation
but merely acknowledging
what is already occurring in this space
of attitude
of resistance or holding on
… behind it
are all views of what is not.

Rango, the Metaphor

We are trapped in our own world, contented with the toys within our space, not that we have a choice, but rather, what we dreamt to have more we have never gotten, except to keep having hopes and dreams that someday the toys the big players play may come into our fold. And so here we are in status quo, resigned to the fate of what is within our space, and yet never giving up our hopes that we will be out from where we are, soon, as always.

We are constantly separated from others by our own invisible wall, like the aquarium separating the fish from the world, and yet the fish knows not the existence of the glass. One day for reasons unknown to the little mind, the aquarium shatters and what was once a dream to “be out there” becomes a reality. And yet, and yet, when that moment comes into picture, two pathways are been laid onto our path – to become someone or to become a nobody. In the nobody’s land, the road has to be crossed, where danger lies on the path, with metaphor of vehicles passing at high speed, potentially robbing our lives if we are not careful. And yet nothing could be lost, as death is just a transition where the mind does not die. And it was on this road, Rango, the chameleon, meets the old wise Armadillo, rolled by the passing vehicles again, not once, but many times, just to cross over to the other side of the road, to experience what “nobody” is like.

But of course, Rango chooses the path he has always wanted, to be “someone”, and thus starts his journey into the desert where danger lies aplenty, to finally arrive at this town called Dirt where water is scarce and control is the game if he wishes to be somebody. And he has to learn to blend in with the inhabitants there if he wishes not to be noticed as an outsider intruding into their space. Isn’t that what we do when we wish to be included into a community so as to feel belonged, to be somebody?

The rest of the movie is up to you to interpret, with much spiritual messages within it; where Rango is confronted with the question of “who am I”; the rattle snake being the metaphor of the quest for awakening, the arising of kundalini; where crossing the road to “nobody” needs total surrendering; where returning from it changes the way Rango looks at life.

Seeing a movie is just like going through life – you can either enjoy the movie through its storyline without understanding its metaphor; or with wisdom, understand what lies in tandem with life – what the movie is trying to convey to each and every one of us, so to break free from the delusion of the movie itself, and yet able to live a life that is detached, free and liberating. What movie are you playing and what kind of life do you wish to live, in the midst of its unreality?

Not Forgetting

When one steps into the path of seeking the truth, one will inevitably be lead into the space of facing what is untrue, in a very paradoxical way – as if the table is being turnaround against what one begins with – seeking truth instead of seeing untruth. Whether the Truth is pointing towards each individual’s meaning of God, Enlightenment, Moksha, whatever – the fact is that all those meanings gradually become meaningless, when the untruth is seen surfaced in the mind. Not that all those glorious words are non-existence or meaningless, but rather one starts to realize that the meaning one has put upon those words are merely errors that one has taken in, in other words, wrong ideas or views of what it is, to start off with. Views are like colour glasses that mistake us from seeing things as they really are – the cloud of delusion that separate us from what is real.

The blatant truth each of us has to face in the spiritual journey is the fact that what is true to us, at any given moment of time, is untrue. Even if it is a realization of sort, the next level of realization would have shown us that what we realized before was incomplete. The game intensifies as one gets closer to the gate, so to speak, of where one is supposed to arrive at. Not too long ago my wise teacher reminded me not to put conclusion to what I realized, though that realization can be immensely liberating, challenging the old views that I had. True liberation comes when the realization is complete, to mean the wisdom that we acquired is all encompassing, enabling us to see things from different angle in a very flexible way instead of defining anything in wrong or right. For where there is right view at each given moment, it is impossible to see wrongness in others – what one see are patterns of conditioning that brought the experience into fold.

The Buddha was perfect to point out the fact that it is because of our ignorance to views running in the mind system that suffering has to ensue. Suffering is merely effect of wrong views that we have bought into. To fix suffering is to miss the point of what the spiritual journey is all about. Views are the problem. But to see views as the root problem is too, missing the point. Wrong views exist because of ignorance of what things are. Here one gets a little closer to truth – the forces of ignorance running in the system blinds one from seeing what is true and what is untrue, recognizing what are right views and wrong views. To be able to recognize the force of ignorance is wisdom at work, the opposing force that slowly, but surely undoes all the suffering that one has unwillingly done.

In this context, it will not be incorrect to say that where there is no seemingly suffering in our lives; where we think or feel we are free to do what we like to do, after crossing all the hurdles of what we were before, there are potentially possibilities of wrong views running in the system that we are not aware of.  By focussing on the experience we miss the point of the views that make us believe who we are, a facade created by ignorance to blind us from seeing what is true. At this point of my journey I will be wary of the so-called freedom that I am getting, reminding myself that everything experienced coming through the senses are not consistent to what it really is – they are merely derivative of views.

It is true that wisdom leads to freedom, but not freedom in the context of experience, except in realization.  The moment we are attached to freedom, as an experience, there lies at that moment the triumph of the force of ignorance. Freedom is not out there in the world. Neither is freedom found in the mind.  Freedom is where there is realization that in the midst of bondage there is freedom – that in the midst of ignorance, wisdom is already watching the game ignorance is playing – seeing truth in the untruth. It is this little freedom of realization that leads to Freedom, not the freedom to be who we are! How easily the truth is missed! Because there is no freedom in who we are as ‘who we are’ does not exist but are merely effects of what is already in the mind, again run by views and conditionings, so to speak. Hence it is important to continuously be vigilant, as in not forgetting, as in remembering that every moment is a constant albeit subtle tug-of-war between ignorance and wisdom; until such…

Whoever knows the world, discovers a corpse.
And whoever discovers a corpse cannot be contained by the world.

— Yeshua

Memory, as it is

fearful dream
good dream
bad dream
loving dream
intense dream
dreaded dream
happy dream
scary dream
dream still remains a dream

fearful experience
good experience
bad experience
loving experience
intense experience
dreaded experience

happy experience
scary experience
experience still remains an experience

dream is dream
experience is experience
both passing, disappearing
nowhere to be seen
except in the memory

aha!
memories make it real
as if it is here to stay –
as if loved ones have “died”
or merely a passing experience;
as if possession is real
or merely a passing thought;
as if betrayal is true
or merely a holding on;
as if freedom is real or merely a contrast of opposite

memory – thou art seen!
making what is transient, permanent
what is no-self, self
what is unsatisfactory, satisfactory

oh what a lie
what an illusion
what a shame perception has done

except its own natural function of remembering…

You Have Been Taken Care Of

It is not easy or even possible to trust that we are constantly being taken care of. With the task of making ends meet, and the tussle of making a living each day in environments that may be unfavorable, not to mention hostile, to see the connection of trust and cared for is out of the mind’s equation. It is like convincing someone in the midst of an empty pocket, money will naturally flow into it the very moment one is to trust. As hard as it is to believe such airy-fairy tale, the truth is that, that is what it takes.

Oblivious to our own conditioning, our inability to trust is the effect of our experiences. Not trusting is to plant doubt in our psyche and what doubt really does is to cast our unsurety to reality. In other words, our experience of unsurety of money coming into our lives is the result of our unsure state of mind. Consider that it is the mind that creates the world instead of the other way round. It is simply illogical to convince oneself that the world is creating the mind as that would have put you as the observed instead of the observer. Of course, when you are awakened, the game switches role, having the “you” being observed, together with the world. But so long as you are around in this thingy call the “mind”, you are constantly the observer of the world; hence you are the cause and the world, the effect.

Thus if you wish to see money flowing into your life without an iota of doubt in it, you have to first look into your ideas that are not in consistent with trust. The outer world is merely a projection of what is in the inner world. If you feel superior over others, a false state that hides your inferiority, you only see inferiority in others – what you see is exactly what you are experiencing in the abyss of the mind, all others are merely false façade that you create to hide what is truly here, in the mind.

So what is given to you is exactly what you are – isn’t that a fair game of consistency that “all has been taken care of”, by you? Whether it is a lousy career, a boring relationship, an uneventful life, everything is perfectly as it is, an exact mirror of what you have offered, from within.

Do you not see how the mind works? Do you not see what you intent is what you get? Do you not see the views running in your system are creating an exact 100% replica of what reality is to you? Whence is then true reality except a fleeting belief system that you have bought into without questioning its validity? Bondage lies in ignorance of what is not understood.

To quote a profound statement made by Jesus – If you bring forth what is within you, what you have will save you. If you do not have that within you, what you do not have within you will kill you. So what is it that you have and do not have? Wisdom. If you do not understand how the mind works, ignorance is gonna work you out, killing you in the process; yet nothing is lost, as you can never die except continuously being led by ignorance until you finally wake up from it. That is the way it is, including yours faithfully, without exemption.

“What you give is what you get” – peanuts will be return with peanuts, ignorance with ignorance, wisdom with wisdom…