The End of Time

time1

You think you have not enough. You think someone, somewhere, is always better off than you at any one time. Sometimes you also do think you have more than enough. You think, you are better off than anyone in the world. Yet there is another in-between; you think you are equal to another. You think you are equally as good as another, or worst, equally as lousy as that dumb born loser. Whether you are here or there, in or out, up or down, you are constantly changing the mask of comparison. Sometimes a midget, sometimes a giant, sometimes at level to another. Yet, there was never another except you and what you think, seemingly speaking to you, doing what you think must be done, on someone, or at someplace, or with something. The thought or role-play spoken secretly in your head is not known by another, yet there was never another in the first place. If ever there was, it was the one you had initially listen to, the one you were seeing inside, except now being positioned outside you. For how can you be inside or outside unless you take a stand of either? If you think you are inside thinking, there must be an outside to meet it. If you think you are outside, you must imagine someone is thinking you. Thus, when you see another, you are actually seeing the same cause in different illusionary position, thus making it seemingly an effect. For cause and effect is actually one, played out in the illusion of separation. Where you stand, in your own imagination, matters to this illusion, unless and until you recognise it as it is.  Otherwise, you are living in a world of your own voice, unknown.

If you actualize that voice into action, or speak words in manipulative demeanour for the sake of luring another to your secret den, you are doing it to that voice, and for that voice only; just to savour deeper what you secretly conspired, never mind it is from a state of lack, pride or equality. The myriads of your experiences are based on that voice of which you think you think, yet, it is nothing until you think it. The voice is, but a single idea brought to thought, and left as quickly as it came; yet when pursued, it mutates to countless uncountable conflicting ideas.

It is here salvation is offered by the Now – you can use it purposefully for God’s sake in ending this insanity, or pursuing a dream that has no end. For purpose is only truly purposeful if awakening is required to wakeup from a dream, else all other purposes are not purpose except choiceless choices made within the field of a scripted choice. Thus the gift of Now is only two – the miracle of wisdom to see thought as it is or the perception of thought that makes it real. It is here, the journey ends, or continue. The end is but eternity; continue is but a lifeless end to begin again and to end prematurely, endlessly.

Yet, there was never at all a futile voice that you needed to play in – of hide and seek that was never at all real, yet played for the sake of self imagination. It is a game of non-necessity, where nothing really happened except your own initiative just to entertain yourself briefly. The game of hide and seek, though needed two, is played all by yourself, in your own thoughts , which is at least to say is an impossible task – yet you played nevertheless on your own, an imagination yet known by you. The thought was never was, and was never in existence, until you turn it to a voice by your believing in it. And here perception came to be, of memory once gone, made real, over and over again in illusion. You would not have existed without that voice, and that voice, non-existence without you. Until you have awaken to that, a dream is what a dreamer you are, dreaming with the voice swimming through your head. Yet, if you have awaken to it, a voice is just is, finally finding its way in ending.

 

The Borderland (The Transition, A Course in Miracles, Text, Chapter 26)

….

There is a borderland of thought that stands between this world and Heaven. It is not a place, and when you reach it is apart from time. Here is the meeting place where thoughts are brought together; where conflicting values meet and all illusions are laid down beside the truth, where they are judged to be untrue. This borderland is just beyond the gate of Heaven. Here is every thought made pure and wholly simple. Here is sin denied, and everything that is received instead.

This is the journey’s end. We have referred to it as the real world. And yet there is a contradiction here, in that the words imply a limited reality, a partial truth, a segment of the universe made true. This is because knowledge makes no attack upon perception. They are brought together, and only one continues past the gate where oneness is. Salvation is a borderland where place and time and choice have meaning still, and yet it can be seen that they are temporary, out of place, and every choice has been already made.

Nothing the Son of God believes can be destroyed. But what is truth to him must be brought to the last comparison that he will ever make; the last evaluation that will be possible, the final judgment upon this world. It is the judgment of the truth upon illusion, of knowledge on perception: “It has no meaning, and does not exist. “This is not your decision. It is but a simple statement of a simple fact. But in this world there are no simple facts, because what is the same and what is different remain unclear. The one essential thing to make a choice at all is this distinction. And herein lies the difference between the worlds. In this one, choice is made impossible. In the real world is choosing simplified.

Salvation stops just short of Heaven, for only perception needs salvation. Heaven was never lost, and so cannot be saved. Yet who can make a choice between the wish for Heaven and the wish for hell unless he recognizes they are not the same? This difference is the learning goal this course has set. It will not go beyond this aim. Its only purpose is to teach what is the same and what is different, leaving room to make the only choice that can be made.

There is no basis for a choice in this complex and over-complicated world. For no one understands what is the same, and seems to choose where no choice really is. The real world is the area of choice made real, not in the outcome, but in the perception of alternatives for choice. That there is choice is an illusion. Yet within this one lies the undoing of every illusion, not excepting this.

Is not this like your special function, where the separation is undone by change of purpose in what once was specialness, and now is union? All illusions are but one. And in the recognition this is so lies the ability to give up all attempts to choose between them, and to make them different. How simple is the choice between two things so clearly unalike. There is no conflict here. No sacrifice is possible in the relinquishment of an illusion recognized as such. Where all reality has been withdrawn from what was never true, can it be hard to give it up, and choose what must be true?

Spacy Delusion

what is spacious for me
can be claustrophobic to you
and what is small to me
can be comfortable for you
what is large
can be small
and what is wide
can soon be narrow

it is all happening here
in the mind of the beholder
a subjective perception
of comparison with another

my big house is reduced to small
by the many furnitures I put in
or the colour I chose
or even my wanting it bigger

how then can space be real
or even true
when I say I need my space
or
do not intrude into my space
or even
this space is mine!

except a misguided perception
entailing separation
between your idea and reality

what then is beyond space
where separation is impossible
and hierarchy unheard of
where high meets low
where up is down
where top is also bottom
and you is me
and we
is

but a figment of imagination
deriving from space
where it can be filled
or occupied
or even
used
and returned

let space teach us
instead of lead us

to think that we are actually here!

Back to the Cause

I received a WhatApps message from a friend who was struggling with the word “healing” as her mind perceived it as being connected to sickness and hence needing “healing”. She went further in requesting me if there was another similar word that I could offer to ease her mind. Obviously from what I read, the word “sickness” is something that she is having difficulty with and not “healing”. From my conclusion of the message,I saw a pattern which many of us, including myself have – wishing to change what is in our experience to something more pleasant so as to escape from the discomfort that is plaguing in our mind at that moment. In this case, it is just a word, yet it can have such great impact on us, not to mention experiences that are really happening in our own lives or among our closed ones. Sometimes even happenings that has no direct connection with us can influence our state of mind. 
 
Anyway, instead of seeking for a new word to replace the word ‘healing’ I invited her to find out the true meaning behind that word so that she need not face the stress or negativity of mind each time this word come into her experience. I pointed out that peace can only be achieved by facing what troubles us instead of moving away from it. The following was what I wrote [revised]:
 
There is no necessity to change the word except to redefine our perception about it so that when the mind gets it right, the miracle of undoing takes place on its own hence reinstating what is true from false. “Cure” is to fix what is unwanted whereas “heal” is to reinstate back what was in its wholeness. Thus “cure” is working on its effect whereas “heal” is to see its cause. Usually heal is directing towards the mind as all sicknesses are derivative of the mind when error is not seen and that is when sickness arises. Thus when one heals the mind, that is when correction takes place in the now of what was once an error. It is to “see” rightly instead of mistaking it. 
 
She replied with thanks for the discernment and also for correcting her error in perceiving that healing was synonymous to curing. And to bring her to realise directly, I also pointed out that now she is healed from the word “heal” which in the beginning was causing a kind of sickness to her mind which she experienced as “struggle”. Many of us seldom see the little stresses in our mind as the beginning of mental sicknesses unless and until it creates serious discomfort in the mind or even manifest themselves as physical sicknesses. We are numbed to the constant plaguing of discomfort only noticing it when we are at the limit of our threshold – many a times such stresses would have come to a full blown depression or arise as psychosomatic illnesses.
 
Now the lesson does not end there. I also brought to mind an important learning which many of us do not realise – and that is about realising how the mechanics of cause and effect conditions our mind. We always think the world is in conflict with us, which in reality is untrue as our perception about the world is the one causing our conflict. We think the cause is out there and hence our reaction or effect is because of it. Yet this is delusional because if that is so, we are a victim to everything we come into contact and that can indeed be a stressful living having to constantly chase after change, or choosing, or even seeking, to feed our needs instead of acknowledging what is it that we are not seeing that is causing us the chase. When we notice the dynamics of our mind in relation to the world we come into full comprehension that the cause has always been in the mind of each beholder and the effect, which is the world we see or experience. We are the creator of the world so to speak instead of victim of the world. 
 
To realise this is to put the law of cause and effect in its true perspective. Only in this way, can we slowly disentangle the many unresolved knots within our lives that are causing us the freedom that we have longed for. It is a sure journey forward to find the Truth of what we are.

The World is Over, Long Gone

Just the other day when I was having dinner with my friend, two persons walked over to our table – a lady holding a few packets of tissue together with a visually impaired man beside her – obviously requesting us to assist in purchasing the tissue to support their living. I already saw them earlier at a nearby table and a thought pop in my mind that it would be a matter of time before they approach us.

As they finally came by, without further ado, I picked up the wallet from my pocket and chose a big note in exchange for a packet of tissue. It was an attitude that I have determined from the past and trained myself not to question the motive of the request as and when it appears before me, acknowledging fully that it is my own wish to give unconditionally without being plagued by thoughts of doubts.  And if ever any of such thoughts were to arise, it is about my mind that I have to address and not what is been projected outside of it. What is seemingly outside, as I remind myself constantly, is merely my own thought put onto it.

What surprised me a moment later is the inner dialogue that came out from that act. The guilt of giving too much and the uncertainty of what I have just done plagued my mind into distress. It was a brief moment of uneasiness as I looked at the mind that was in tussle, trying to find ways to justify the act. Regret was one of the obvious unquestioned emotion together with a myriad of associated feelings with it. It was a case of betrayal, more correctly, a self-betrayal – feeling betrayed towards myself for the amount I handed out. As before in such situation, it has always been a norm to console myself by justifying the act, imagining that they needed the money more than me, or by refuting or admonishing my own mistake; and if all of such doesn’t work, a series of mindless guilt and punishment comes to place. It is interesting to notice how the mind works, or more accurately, delusion – trapped in a whirlpool of meanings of entanglements.

Just as about the plot seemed to get thicker, a glimpse of light of understanding shined through the mind as Wisdom reminded me one more time that both moments are not at all connected in any way, though it seems to be a consecutive leading on moment. It unravelled me the understanding that the moment of giving is simply an act of unconditionality and it has since long gone as quickly as it came. The next moment of regret, had nothing at all to do with the earlier act, as it too came and gone at that moment; the latter seemingly meeting the former and parting once again. The regret was merely a memory, a shadow or an ancient thought that was held back in the past, surfaced and joining into the moment to be freed and gone forever, to be forsaken. And that is exactly all it was, a pleasant remembering and a conscious wakefulness and understanding so not to perpetuate it’s meaning and thus consciously releasing it so as not to return again.

Every moment of what arises in the mind is but old unresolved meanings that we have harboured and not released. And if I were to believe in it, I am only securing another future similar incident to spark that meaning to meet me again – in fact that is why it arose again of a past I did not choose correctly to see it as a memory. The experience I had with what was outside me was not relevant at all to my peace as to what comes up within me. My outside experience is by and large defined by my inner perception, and thus is not always to my best interest, though I think I am that. I thought getting upset is to my best interest, yet it is not. I thought desiring my experience is to my best interest, yet it is also not. What arise from the mind is just what I have addicted myself to, re-experiencing it unknowingly until waking up from it one fine day.

“The miracle but shows the past is gone, and what has truly gone has no effects. Remembering a cause can but produce illusions of its presence, not effects.” – ACIM, The Present Memory.

Do read an awesome related entry: Living Memory