Am I really Here?

… Then the thought occurred to Angulimala: “Isn’t it amazing! Isn’t it astounding! In the past I’ve chased & seized even a swift-running elephant, a swift-running horse, a swift-running chariot, a swift-running deer. But now, even though I’m running with all my might, I can’t catch up with this contemplative walking at normal pace.” So he stopped and called out to the Blessed One, “Stop, contemplative! Stop!”

“I have stopped, Angulimala. You stop.”

- The bandit Angulimala to the Buddha (Thanissaro)

Though the moral of the story is metaphorical, yet there is a truth on movement, in this case “running”. When my teacher asked how many steps do I take to arrive from the meditation hall to his quarter (a distance of approx 100 metre) I was already expecting the unexpected, but not the way he answered it. One step, he said. Uh?

Today, quantum physicists are confirming that time and space are just illusions. Past, present and future all occur simultaneously. We are actually nonlocal beings having a local experience. It may look like you ‘re over there and I’m over here, but it’s a lie. Space is just a separation idea, as is time.
– Gary Renard, Your Immortal Reality

There are two ways of experiencing experiences – either at the object level (which I will refer to as the world), or the subject (the processes occuring at the mind level). Both have different end results. If my attention is given to the world, I am to expect what the world is offering me – separation. If my attention is given to the mind processes, I am to experience what is already here for me – “what is already here” is all I have, for all ideas never left its source.

I have not gone anywhere else except where I am NOW
(if only this can be true).

Lets look at this thing call “movement”. In truth movement cannot be seen except to be felt, just like colours cannot be tasted except to be seen. If I can’t see movement then what am I seeing? Optical illusion. Movement is an optical illusion arising from my inability to stay precisely in the Now. To stay in the Now needs precisely constant awareness, concurrent with the arising of consciousness. Each now ceases and is immediately replaced by a new now, unending, unbroken. The inability to see this process brought about the concept of past and future.  There is no future, no past, except now. The moment I am unconscious to this reality, I am sucked into the imaginary past and future, into the stream of unawareness, denoted by the meaning of “time”.  “Now” is never about the world. Neither is past or future, except a dream. Now, past or future is a mental occurence though I may think it has got to do with day and night, or clock and time.

When the awareness radar is made to turn inwards directing to the mind, the whole scope of reality changes.  At each moment of now “I am” always here – neither there nor anywhere – but here, in mind existence. Even “here” is incorrect, except a mean to express in-existence. If everything is in a constant flux, including “me” – where is time, where is space, where is distance?  Could the “everything” be an illusion of the mind springing from the meaning of “I”?

The stream of consciousness flows, ceasing and passing away, to be conditioned by another.
How it arises, no one knows. When it ends, no one knows.

6 Replies to “Am I really Here?”

  1. “Now” is a definition for presence. Without presence there is no now. Thus now is a mind experience rather than the external time. What does it take to be in the “now”. Not forgetting. The word “sati” in Pali, loosely translated as mindfulness, actually refers to “not forgetting”. Not forgetting to be attentive to what is ongoing in the mindbody processes. Observe that the moment you remember to be in the now, awareness automatically takes over. The meaning of now arise – that is the function of perception. Who/What is in the “now”? Conditioning (which does not know itself) and (when there is non-forgetting), wisdom (which knows).

  2. Who/What is presence? There are myriads of things going on in the mindbody processes. Which is most “helpful” to be in the “now”? Any clue to differentiate when “conditioning” is in progress and when “wisdom” takes over?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *