Month: February 2011

Craving, craving,
who are you really?
a force so strong
that drives me crazy
and makes me sick.

I can’t not want you
for that is you
I can’t not look at you
as you draw me in
forcing me to grief.

I tried searching for you
but yet many a times
you sneak behind me
becoming me
a thief robbing my freedom.

What else can I do
except to recognize your presence
and yet do nothing
and just to be mindful of you.

To act is to bring you in
to fix is to make you one
to run is to make you chase
to give up is to make you strong.

You are just nature
and so I was told
and to take you without resistance
with mindful compose
and to face you in the eye.

Having an attitude
that is right in effort
neither too much or too lax
probably effortless effort
simply observing who you are.

Until wisdom comes a calling
letting me understand you one more time
I just have to be awake not to be drawn
to your invisible web
so fine and yet so strong
at your mercy for another time.

The mind is constantly nosy, always extending itself out. To be more precise, the defilement of desiring is causing the nosiness. Observe what happens when you pass by a conversation – the tendency of prying into what others are talking. The more you pull away from it the more you tend to hear than before. Hence the practice of watching the mind – MYOM – Mind your Own Mind Business is pretty important if you wish to have peace of mind.

It seems like we have no interest in our own businesses except of others. Just imagine giving yourself the task of watching the mind the next time it goes to any senses. The tendency of it is always out there instead of in here. As if the whole world is our business. It is of no wonder that we are so seriously affected by what the world is and make it our own. Sigh. This mind is indeed a life long journey to “tame” if ever there is such a thing!

Well, one of the main reasons why we are unable to get the technique right and keep failing in observing the mind is because the beginning purpose of it is already incorrect. The idea of watching the mind, to many, even myself, is to “handle” the mind – as if it is some kind of sumo wrestling – a war of some kind. There is a tendency of intending to “kill” it rather than learning from it. Meditation is about learning, so that you start to get a good feel of how it works, hence having the wisdom of creating causes for the effect to take place.

In fact the tendency of “handling the mind” comes from our attitude towards our own experience. Ask yourself how do you feel when you realize there are so much anger, upset, judgment, jealousy, and many of other negative emotions that plague the mind daily? I am sure you have these rotten feeling of fixing it, hoping that you can be more loving and understanding instead of having those yucky experiences bombarding the mind each day.

So long as we have the wrong attitude towards all this negativity, our immediate tendency is about wiping them up, hence handling the mind becomes our obsession instead of first learning to understand how all these stuff comes into being.

So the only way to start afresh, as a new year resolution, if you are one who is keen to do inner housekeeping, is to have the attitude of what is there to learn from this mind. Look at the mind as nature rather than me. Identification always makes one become that and hence entangle at its mercy. So before you start looking at the mind, give yourself a reminder that you are not trying to control or manage the mind but rather learn a little more about it. Give each experience a voice instead of pushing it away and I am sure you will enjoy meditating than before. Apply more interest and awareness towards your daily moments – it helps to make your day more meaningful.