Author: asitisnow

I am defined by my own experience. You too are defined by your own experience. Not that there is a “me”  or a “you” in the experience, but rather “me” or “you” equates experience of each moment (experience = me). Experience of each moment defines my boundary – to mean it is only uniquely for me, not for you or for anyone else for that matter. And the meaning of boundary as mentioned here is not a kind of border or privacy that I am creating or protecting, but rather boundary as a field of experience that is constantly taking place. My spiritual job, or even your spiritual job, is to clearly recognize our own defined boundary, else whatever that is not ours becomes our own. That too is not exactly correct for how can it not be “ours” when we are already in contact with it?

In truth there is no “your boundary” or “my boundary” simply because when I say “it is your boundary” I am already experiencing that meaning in my field or space, hence it has always been mine. Thus so long as you are giving meaning to my experience, it is actually yours to behold and vice versa. No matter how much you would like to define me, you are actually experiencing it, except 100%  fullness all the time. Hence what you or I define in every moment is merely our own personal experience. It has never left me or left you. Do you get where I am coming from?

When I respect your boundary, I am meaning to say, “my respect of your boundary” is actually within my sphere, or field of experience, hence my own boundary. On the same note, when I am critical, judging or defining you, all are actually occurring in my own mental boundary, though in outward physical form it seemingly looks like I am making you wrong. But if you were to take on what I said, again that becomes your own boundary simply because that becomes your experience now. Do you now see experience is your boundary, irrelevant whether it is something that you sense outwardly or inwardly?

For that matter, you are your own experience, no more, or less, but perfect all the time. There is nothing wrong or right with whatever experience occurring in your space as it is what is already occurring here in the Now. It is only perceived wrong when one does not want to take integrity for what is being experienced – but think of it again – how can it be otherwise since experience is “me” and in your field, is “you”? I can only be sure I am lying to myself or playing an ignorant game when I do not admit that experience is what all I am at that point. How can it be otherwise?

Am I able to step back, so to speak, and acknowledge all the experiences in my formless boundary as what is being experienced all the time and to realize that not one of any experience stays even for a brief moment simply because nothing lasts – it only seems to last because I held it in ransom – either by resisting it or holding on to it ignorantly. Regardless of which it is in mind, everything still passeth by beyond my ability to control. Sit back, relax and you will experience unfolding of conditionings, effortlessly, coming and going… Only then, undoing is possible, the end of bondage is not too far – not there or somewhere in the future but here, except, all the time.

Only You (Me)…

no you no me
not you not me
except mind
colliding with objects
arising as experiences
hence
defining “you”
defining “me”

whatever experiences
as of the mind
so long as in your field
is yours to claim
for how can it be otherwise
since “you” or “I” for that matter
is mind?

so stop fussing
stop refusing
stop rejecting
stop interfering
even
stop stopping
and
realize
what is here as experience
is simply a passing experience
neither good nor bad
but nature coming and going
irrelevant
you want it or not want it
like it or not like it
for what has it got to do with experience
as it unfolds and unfolds
and yet unfolds again
and yet again
ceaselessly
carelessly
until
feeding it not
a natural death
it takes
and
behold
all
ends

until then
you
and me
responsible for it
not the experience
but our relation to it
for that is where
the merry-go-round
continues
or
ends…

Wherever attention is placed is where reality begins. Reality here means believing in the realness to what I am experiencing. If my attention is at what I am seeing, what I see becomes my reality – I will see the floor as real, the plane I am flying as real, the news I read or the movie I am watching at the cinema –  the seat, the screen – everything as real in my own experience. If I see my loved one as sick, I can’t deny she is not sick as that is my experience of reality in my space. If my attention is on what I am hearing, what I hear becomes my reality. Obviously this so-called reality is across the board for all my other senses as well. The question to this reality is that is it really real as in ultimate or real only for me at that point of my experience? Is my reality governed by my mood or even perception? What about the inherent views or ideas within each of us – does it also mould the way I look at things? Seldom do I question the realness of this so-called reality since everything I experience is tangible and verifiable by my senses; more accurately, by my mind.

Hence the equation is such: Attention given to any object = experience = reality = belief

There is a serious implication to this equation since whatever we attend to is what ultimately make us believe as real. Our attention seems to be the source of our reality. It has been found years ago through scientific experiments that the brain can never differentiate, say a so-called real ice-cream held in the hand, and a thought about ice cream in the mind. Both have similar neuron reactions, to mean an imagination is as real as any other reality that I would define as more real – there is no hierarchical differentiation. My attention to what I am holding physically and what I am thinking of the same has similar reality, though in the real world both seems to be different.

If that is so if I am attending to my thoughts, what I think – be it past, present or future – becomes my reality. I will not be aware that it is a thought per se, a so-called memory that arises and ceases away immediately, but will take it as my reality playing at my doorstep now. If I think about a hurt event, that event is not just a thought – it is a reality playing out in my field of experience. Do we ever wonder whether in term of mind experiences are there any difference between thought, imagination, hallucination or fantasy? We think there is but in actuality there is none since whatever that is thought off in the mind are merely mental projections.

The question here is not about thoughts – it is about attention – the unquestioned attention at any one moment of time. Would you dare to questioned yourself honestly that all the attention given to the world is a created reality – a conditioned reality based on whatever is in the mind at that point of experience be it feelings, perception, views etc? We would have missed a big chunk of a puzzle if our focus is on thoughts – thinking that only thoughts are creating our imaginary reality. It is a a-little-too-late-moment to catch of what occurs prior to that – attention.

Hence my so called reality is what I am attending – if I am attending to the hearing experience, my reality is the process of hearing whereas if I am attending to what I am hearing, my reality is the storyline, the sound that plays up the meaning of pleasant or unpleasant. Not that one reality is more real than the other; but one reality defines the mechanics of hearing, whereas the other defines what comes up in the hearing – the conceptual part of it. Both attention will have different result in our field of experience.

What about stepping a little further to the cause and observe (also to mean “attention given”) the “attending” attending to the hearing and how in the hearing the meaning of sound has been given reality? What would the result be? It is for you to guess and for me to realize:)

The cue is this – when you get a little closer to the “source” the field of your reality changes. Will there be an end to it? Meaning to question the possibility where reality ceases at the very very beginning source of everything or is it merely just a mad cyclic cause and effect that cannot be differentiated except an unbreakable cycle of illusion?

not that “I am upset”
but rather conditions promotes arising
hence nature of upset ripens
not “I”, or “you” for that matter
as behind it all are mere causes and effect
taking on its own course
from results of past
not comprehended
not understood
and ignored
replaying one more time
on its own
without me doing upset
but upset doing me instead

hence if “I am upset”
do give me space and time
to remember again
that in truth upset is doing me
though ignorant to this
i am seemingly upset with you
and until I wake up from it
do patiently love me
for who I seemingly am
for I cannot be otherwise
until wisdom comes arising

and if any case you are upset with me being upset
do remember too that your upset
is not really yours but rather
upset upsetting you
probably conditioned
by what both of us
have done
unresolved
unmet
unheard
of ancient guilt and pain
coming back with patterns
that look so familiar
repeatedly triggering
each other again

hence let me be reminded to be wise
in my space of upset
and offering love in
your space of upset
remembering it
as opportunity for forgiveness
of undoing whatever knots
that has not been resolved within
projected outward many times
of ancient lifetimes and rebirths
coming back again

alas
that includes too whatever longing
that I have for you
for each attachment has guilt within
coming back to repay what I thought I need to resolve
of lies upon lies ignorance deceived me
until I fully wake up
that love beholds me to love you
without conditions attached
without repayment of any sort
unconditional
boundless.