Author: asitisnow

I thought you are, were
just as harmless as a tiny mouse
a simple wanting
an ordinary desire
of a tiny
thought
of getting a gift
for my beloved teacher.

You come and go
as I am aware of you
not giving you too much
of attention
in case you grip me by my neck
and strangle me
as I have seen you before
drowning me in scheming and planning
I am wary of you
to regret later for that restless desire.

And yet you come one more time
and many more times
and I give a watchful eye
trusting myself that I am not
going to be hooked by you again.

And suddenly it came to my ear
a plan has been made
to deliver the gift
from an eavesdrop
of my beloved
without me knowing
and of course I am elated
but little did I know
you have already came
in through the back door
I have underestimated you

You wickedly intrude
in a different form
instead of wanting
you came in through my preference
as you know where my weakness is

The day came
and the gift unwrap by my teacher
I saw the little you rearing your head
and I knew I have to deal with the ugly you
underestimated you again.

Craving, craving,
who are you really?
a force so strong
that drives me crazy
and makes me sick.

I can’t not want you
for that is you
I can’t not look at you
as you draw me in
forcing me to grief.

I tried searching for you
but yet many a times
you sneak behind me
becoming me
a thief robbing my freedom.

What else can I do
except to recognize your presence
and yet do nothing
and just to be mindful of you.

To act is to bring you in
to fix is to make you one
to run is to make you chase
to give up is to make you strong.

You are just nature
and so I was told
and to take you without resistance
with mindful compose
and to face you in the eye.

Having an attitude
that is right in effort
neither too much or too lax
probably effortless effort
simply observing who you are.

Until wisdom comes a calling
letting me understand you one more time
I just have to be awake not to be drawn
to your invisible web
so fine and yet so strong
at your mercy for another time.