Category: General

Each moment I give, I am giving my best, irrelevant what afterthought I would have about it. I may be consciously giving myself half-heartedly, say dishwashing – I want to quickly complete it without giving much attention to it – that giving is what I am offering at that point of time – that is my very best I could ever afford, and thus is my 100% of that moment – can’t be more, can’t be less.

If that is what I have given my best, and found later that the plates are not properly washed, the experience I got is 100% too. On the other hand, if I find the plates are properly washed, though I am half-hearted, that too is a 100%.  No less, no more – exactly as it is, until the insane mind thinks it should be otherwise – as if time can be reworked. What has what I found got anything to do with my best? I give my best, the world give its best, perfectly at each moment. So I can’t get it wrong at all, all the time. I get it wrong when I insanely think that the world should return exactly what I give. If I can’t be fully sure of my action, except a random choice, how can I be 100% sure of what is been returned?

With the limiting condition I am having at each moment, I can’t be doing anything better than what I am already doing, thus that is my best. If I am giving my best to a relationship, and found out later that the other party is not giving his or her best – how can I say I am reaping 100% result, you may asked. Yes I am, just that I am not wanting to see it that way – I want more than 100%. If I am expecting something from my relationship, which is fine – a 100% expectation – the result I get will be 100% disaster – if my expectation is not met. If my expectation is half met, that is because I have half expectation, if there is such a thing – that too is fine, as that is my best. I can’t dictate what is out there, but I can dictate what is in here. In truth, I can’t dictate at all except to get exactly what I am.

I get 100% all the time. You get 100% all the time. We have never met, though we think we met physically. I have never got connected, except myself, which I am not aware. When I truly realized and understand that what I connect is, but myself, then only the world starts to get connected with me. Before that I am only imagining.

So I could not get it wrong, until the insane mind thinks that the other person should exactly return the same as what I am giving. It is like saying, I am calling out for attention to the whole entire world and to expect the whole entire world would to respond exactly to my calling. Fat hopes!

What I want is not what I am going to get – I can’t get what I am imagining to be. What I want is what I get – I get a perfect 100% imagination. Whatever I generate is what I am experiencing and has nothing to do with what I want the world to offer me – it is just a wishful thinking. The effect has none of my business except what I am causing.

Thus, the world has nothing to do with me and yet has everything to do with me. What the world is coming for me (not what the world is offering me) is none of my business. My business is how I am going to respond to it when it comes.

Could you observe the mind is attracted to a certain conditioning – be it relationships, food, habits, friends, etc? The mind, a bundle of ideas, a permutation of potentialities, attracts similar kind of conditioning of patterns, behaviors, personality –  whenever and whatever conditioning it takes on at that period of time.

Like a magnet, it either attracts or repels whatever that enters into its sphere. Likewise, the people I meet which I like and dislike, is a indication of what ideas I am having at that moment of time. No one comes into my life coincidentally. My field of conditioning attracts me to the experience. Like a magnet, anything around that is not magnetic will pass undetected – I have uncountable experiences each moment but only few that attracts “my kind” of conditioning brings about “my” experience – do I truly have a choice or was the experience been chosen by conditioning?

Observe intensely each passing moment and I will be amazed by the course of action the mind takes. Observe the style of bathing. Observe the style of wiping the body. Just watch. Everything is automated. Everything that I do, from the minutest to the obvious, are set conditioning of the mind. So long as I am not aware, there is practically no choice in it. I am a servant to the mind, so to speak.

Could I be right to say I am  unconsciously attracted to a certain scene of events, without my knowledge as Nature’s pull of conditioning is taking its own effect? Am I attracted to a certain type of family? Is a child born innocent or simply a continuation of ignorance? Does a child habit your making? Do I blame my parents for who I am?

Does teachers come to me or am I attracted to them by my own conditioning – such that either I am pulled towards their direction or they are attracted towards my direction? Observe the flow – there is a certain pattern underlying these movements. I will call the movement the movement of Tao – of ying and yang.

The attraction of sexes is the same – the yang attracts the ying and the ying with the yang. The yang repels the yang and the ying repels the ying. They are the natural interplay of feminine and masculine energy. Do I really have a choice in my decision? I totally doubt so. Even if I have a choice in making, I observe the choice is incline towards a certain conditioning. There is no truth in freewill except conditioned freewill.

In the stillness of the heart, the movement of this conditioning is obvious – matching itself every space and time – flowing in unison and in sync. There is no one moment where there is a coincident. Neither is there a freak situation. All is perfectly at its own space, performing its conditioning without the “me” needed to be around. This is Nature…

I feel so sentenced by your words
I feel so judged and sent away
Before I go I got to know
Is that what you mean to say?
Before I rise to my defense,
Before I speak in hurt or fear,
Before I build that wall of words,
Tell me, did I really hear?
Words are windows, or they’re walls,
They sentence us, or set us free.
When I speak and when I hear,
Let the love light shine through me.
There are things I need to say,
Things that mean so much to me,
If my words don’t make me clear,
Will you help me to be free?
If I seemed to put you down,
If you felt I didn’t care,
Try to listen through my words
To the feelings that we share.

– Ruth Bebermeyer
(from the book Nonviolent Communication – A Language of Life)

Another sharing here about walls and windows found in The Sunday Star (Nov 8, 2009) on Berlin Wall:

WALLS are tricky things,” muses Goethe-Institut’s Communications and Internet Staff department head Prof Dr Michael Jeissman.

“The walls of your home protect you from harm and intruders, but they could also serve to isolate you from what’s outside.”