Category: General

It is views that make us look at things differently from each other, and it is views that create conflict among mankind. Closer to home, it is views that trap us in our own mental bondage and it is again views that lead us out of the bondage to freedom. Views are born from mind, so is freedom and bondage too. If all stems from mind, surely the way to work around it also has to come from the mind.

Hence, the need to be aware, or mindful. It is awareness that brings one to be in touch with the mind, to be in the know of what the mind is already doing. And to watch the mind is a pretty kind of tricky work as it is not something tangible that you can anchor yourself in. So you need to know first the mechanism of what the mind is. Just as to know a thief, you have first to recognize what it takes to be a thief. So what is mind’s ability? Think, feel, imagine, know, and many more functions falls under the category of mind. Each time when any of the functions is being done in your experience, can you recognize it is the mind working? Rarely. Instead, we think it was “me” or “I” doing. If you keep acknowledging that it is the mind which is doing its work all the time, you will come to recognize that the mind has a life of its own, as if nature is working in you.

Similarly when seeing is taking place, can you also acknowledge that the function of seeing is taking place? In due time, through silent observation you will come to realize that seeing takes place, without the need to look, or hearing is already taking place, without the “you” needing to listen. You will then realize that there is a strange set of nature taking place in you, the so-called mind and body processes. Both mind and body seem to have a life of its own, like any nature. They move and work on their own accord, and in their own unique ways, without needing you to interfere in it.

When you learn to observe every minute occurrence that is happening in your mind and body, first by acknowledge what it is doing, while it is doing it, you will come to feel as if you are now being put as a third party watching “yourself”. But yet in “yourself” you will find that there is no self there, except nature working out its own. By observing, your view about yourself changes. And this can only occur when you don’t take what is happening for granted, but to recognize what is already occurring while it is occurring. Being an observer to what is, you become a silent witness.

And that is what it means by J’s statement – be a passerby – without holding on or identifying to what is here, but instead observe, allowing each experience to come and go. And this view makes a huge impact on how you view your day to day living. You don’t take things as personal anymore as you no longer see the emotion as you, except nature of the mind. Neither do you attach unnecessarily to anything mental or physical, as you find that they are not there for you to hold on to, except as a passing nature. Your perspective and perception changes and you will definitely feel a lot freer than before.

Detachment comes naturally as a result of a certain view, not by making it work through sheer effort. Everything falls into its place naturally, as nature has its own way of working. When we force change by will – obviously by not understanding how nature works – nature is disrupted and that is when imbalance results. It is a price to pay when what is natural turns unnatural.

The fire rage ceaseless
one more time
as if the last was not enough
and it was just ten days ago

Then came the torrential of water
drawing what is along its path
insinuating discomfort
calling for release
which can be sudden
cheating preparation

And just when all seems to end
the wind in waves came popping up
inducing an orchestra of sounds
in passageways the water has passed
an acute discomfort
when release is not called
affecting a ballooning tension
of inflated dis-ease.

After much fury
of three solid days
of elements playing up
the mind heave a great relief
of heavy clouds
that just passed
and rain that imbued a gloom feeling
welcoming now the coldness of winter
blowing through the window
and the lightness of body
from the aftermath of imbalance.

– 13 Dec 2010, Yangon

It was indeed a great relief to feel better after the imbalance of elements played up in the body the previous three days. Started with a severe throat infection that came back after it left me 10 days ago, just the very day I left for Myanmar for my meditation retreat, followed up by a day of diarrhoea and later as if I had not enough of it, with wind catching up in my belly, making my tummy inflate with much tension. It was during the same period the unexpected rain and cloud came pounding when the weather was supposed to be welcoming the winter season.

Nature has its own way of working things out. Similarly with the body too, which is part of nature. And the mind, another nature, falls into slumber and stupor, as if a timely call inviting me to stop doing and to simply flow into what nature is teaching me to do – simply be with acceptance.

It was a great lesson in change of routine, of not trying to look good and to feel guilty when much sleep and rest is called for.

On hindsight the contrast of health made me realize how I have taken it for granted all this while. Paraphrasing my meditation teacher’s statement – do you know you are experiencing when you are in the midst of experiencing – as in my own words, when you are in good health, are you aware you are having good health? Only by recognizing good health will you feel blessed by it, each moment, valuing it and taking care of it and not after been stricken by ill health, as that will have make us regret moments that we have not cherished it with care. And all it takes is awareness, wisdom and having the right knowledge that the mind and body is part of Nature and hence they are to be respected as any other parts of nature instead of misusing it.

Lizards
mosquitoes
frogs
grasshoppers
and of late,
scorpion (yes, just one)
fed my numbers
of beings
that is of non-human
that I am acutely aware off.

Not that they are uncommon
or unusual to my field of experience
but they become succinctly obvious
when the senses of experience
are put to bare minimum.

No tv
no news
no handphone
no movies
no music
no food of my choice
except what is being given
no thick mattresses
no driving
no going anywhere
except what is within
the four walls of the retreat centre
tho there are days where I venture out
to follow the monks alms round
even that seems to me
everything stripped to minimum
except my dear laptop
to entertain me
and my camera which I seldom use
which at times become
an obstacle
to my practice.

Whatever it is
wherever I am
there is always something the mind holds on to
like those “non-humans” I seem
to frequently see
or the dogs and cats
roaming in the compound
of course not to mention
the practitioners, monks and nuns
who are just like me!

This was written during my retreat and I became aware that the mind grasp on to practically everything that comes to its domain, irrelevant whether there is more or less objects. Its job is just to grab!