Coming to grip with Reality

I only know two things, not many things.  Either I know what I know or I know what I don’t know. And yet what I know and don’t know is only from a conceptual level of understanding. From the reality point of understanding, what I know, I don’t know and what I don’t know, which is a kind of knowing, I don’t know too. To recognize this is wisdom.

A fool with a sense of his foolishness
is — at least to that extent — wise.
But a fool who thinks himself wise
really deserves to be called
a fool.

– Dhammapada (Thanissaro)

Of the so many things that I have experienced and will be experiencing, that many things is only six things – seeing, smelling, tasting, touching, hearing and feeling. Everything I experienced within one of my senses are all recycled. In seeing, I only see colors. Without colors I don’t see anything. Even that is not true as I cannot not “don’t see anything” as to know I don’t see anything I must first to see.

When I see you, I see you with all your colours and shades. I don’t really see you as a form per se. The edge of each color give rise the meaning of form. So what I see you as thin, fat, round, square, big, small – whatever shape it takes is all my imagination. Everything in the world is made up of uncountable spectrum or shades of colors. And yet that is not true too. There are no new colors I have not seen. All the uncountable colors are in truth  a few basic colors – some say there are three, others, five. Yet, even that is not true! Light with its different wavelength intercepting with with perception creates these basic colors. Thus there is only one – light! I can never know whether “my” color is the same as “your” color as there is no possibility of knowing except words. Probably “my” red is a little different from “your” red. Who knows? I can never know – and I choose not to know (which is another knowing!). Can I choose not to be color blind if I am one? I can’t choose what color I am already seeing, other than changing it outside. Even that is not “change” except to replace. Seeing is not me. I am been seen.

What about the other senses then? Am I too imagining at each and every one of the senses as what I am doing to seeing? What is happening here? Am I simply talking nuts or am I in hallucination? Is it experiential or just empty talk? I can’t give you what I experienced for what I experience is not something I can hand it over. But what I can give is the direction, inviting yourself to enter.

Be still, be totally still, not in the body, but the mind. Be watchful and observe, observe in a way of non-knowing, non-doing, bearing witness as all the concepts arises within the senses. The first lesson in A Course of Miracle says

Nothing I see in this room [on this street, from this window, in this place] means anything.

Though the statement points to the truth to the beginning step of experiencing reality, yet the pointing can be misconstrued. The sentence was given to convey what is exactly needed to be done, not as literal as what been read. It is a little tricky in this lesson as to put the above meaning to what I see is giving what I see a meaning. I can’t in my mind repeats everything I see as meaningless, for meaningless is another meaning I am giving to what I see.

Hence I allow myself to consistently enter into the abiding of non-doing, non-knowing; by simply being. In the being, non-doing and non-knowing is achieved. I can’t do non-doing and non-knowing except it does me when I train myself into simply being.

Am I with the seeing or am I with what I see? When I am with with the seeing, I only see seeing as one, when I am with the world I see many. The same too with other senses. There is no me neither is there you. There is only observation to the meaninglessness of the meaning the mind gives.

There is observing without an observer

If I truly wish to experience what Truth is, I have to enter into the kingdom of reality, instead of the concepts the mind is conjuring. And one after another, moment to moment, I observe keenly with awareness, in the state of being, without judgment and with acceptance, I transcend the entire illusion of what the world is.

If you bring forth what is within you, what you have will save you. If you do not have that within you, what you do not have within you will kill you.

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