I Can’t Appreciate the World

I have been observing for quite awhile now that everyone (me included) cannot appreciate anything at all until they come into an understanding about that thing. What is the cause of it? I search into the mind and the answer that I get at this moment is “what’s in for me” factor.

If I don’t get a satisfactory answer to my question, I would not appreciate your answer. If I am in a desperate state for an answer (which I already know what answer I wish to have – only if I am conscious) I would not appreciate an answer that is pointing me to the truth, in other words, a painful answer that is showing me the falseness that I am holding on. I would only appreciate an answer that is supportive of my view. Is that familiar to you?

In the same way if you are reading this blog and all you want is the truth, nothing but the truth, you will read what I write here with much enthusiasm and even having self-inquring and reflection after reading it. But if you wish to have a quick-fix answer to your life issues (which I also do once awhile), you would not appreciate what I am writing here. That is fine too. For we only choose what we want to listen.

So if I want to hear support, I will only look for support. If I want to hear the truth, I will only look for the truth. So a yardstick for me to know what idea I am having is to look around me. The world is my reflection. In the same way, if what you share is something I like, I am happy for you. If it is something that is making me upset, I am not happy with you, though that thing may be pointing me to the Truth. That is the human dilemma – consistently wanting something to feed what’s in for me.

I came across many people telling me that they start to appreciate what I have shared years ago. That statement also mean that they were not appreciative when the sharing was done at that point of time. That is true as when we don’t understand what we hear, we cannot induce any appreciation. Even though we may think we understood what we heard, the appreciation of that point of time and after our personal realization is entirely different. I would say that moment of hearing is not much of appreciation but rather an expression of thanks. Appreciation has the cause of understanding and confidence.

Appreciation is not for anyone else except the experiencer. I can’t really appreciate you, though the expression seems to be pointing to you. What I am truly saying is “I am appreciative for the understanding that I have gotten and I am sharing this news with you (as I thought you are the cause of it)”.

Many a times people came to me with their “house on fire”, and surprisingly not many wishes to hear the Truth except for a quick-fix answer. At times they are not even keen in seeking the reasons of their suffering except to pour out their grievances. In other words they are not keen in solving their pain except for a relief. That is the irony of human suffering. And all is about what’s in for me, rather that what’s the Truth for me. And I have people coming back to me with this question – how would I know what is the Truth? Or how do you know that is the Truth?

There is nothing in Truth – truth is not a place. Truth is not something that belongs to you or me. Truth is simply an understanding that sets me free. If I am not free I can be sure I am not living the Truth.

7 Replies to “I Can’t Appreciate the World”

  1. Truth is simply an understanding that sets me free. If I am not free I can be sure I am not living the Truth.”

    Sometimes, perhaps most of the times, to be free seems like to be not “here”. But where is “there” which I dont even know whether or not it is “more free”.

    Here, to be free of wantings, to be free of fear, to free of doubts, to be free of judging, and countless more to be free from. To be free from “wanting to be free”. Like I want to be free from freedom itself, to be free from even myself. This is not making any sense. This is not for the thinking mind. Something must happen without me minding it? The door to the Truth?

  2. I get what you mean. The closest experience to that is when you experience the non-self in non-self where the “I” totally disappears in that flash of a moment. You can only know it when you are out of it. You can’t know it when the experience is taking place. A very liberating experience, though for a flash of a moment. How to come to that space? Just keep developing being state without expectation. It is not something that is born from thinking. And “I” have to get out of the way – not my own doing but it does itself.

  3. When the heart is willing and the freedom is growing, I am sure the sharing will continue to flow. In this journey, the unknown is what is known.

  4. If I may share from what I have learnt from my personal experience….To be Free is to rise from whatever that you are experiencing now.

    If you are hurt and going through a painful experience, rise from where you are, make the best of whatever situation you are in now. Most of the time, our mind tend to focus on the negative as it contradicts with what we want or our perception of what or how things should be, however, we must find the courage to move forward with trust and use our creativity to make the best out of the situation, it is only after we have overcome the situation can we discover or see the benefits or blessings that that particular experience has brought upon us.

    Generally we will not know or understand or appreciate the experience when it is taking place, largely because we are clouded with our ego and it’s natural that we choose to defend our wounded ego at that point of time. As the saying goes, “Do your best and let God do the rest”? That’s exactly what it is, we all should learn to continue to live on and do our best to rise from any given situation and surrender the outcome to the higher powers.

    It is not wrong to want, to doubt, to judge or even to have fear. We just need to learn to accept who we are for we are perfect wherever we are or whoever we are and appreciate that we are able to recognize our wants, doubts, judgments and fears for without them, we will not be motivated to move forward to discover the truth. It is through judgments that we are able to recognize and appreciate our blessings, it is through our fears that we know our blockages. There’s always a reason for everything, we just need to learn to accept with trust.

    The key to freedom or rather to free ourselves from who we perceive ourselves to be is to learn to be the master our mind and not let the mind be our master! Seeking the truth to freedom is a constant learning process however the process may or will vary for each individual though the aim is to reach to the same final destination but if we can constantly reach out and hold each other’s hand, we can keep each other on track.

  5. There are two types of freedom, one that is temporal which arises from replacing what is already within us, for instance when we are upset, we try forgetting it and move on by doing something that helps to keep us occupied. That is a seemingly freedom – what it does is only resolving the symptom but not the root of the upset. I would not call that freedom as that is what all of us have been taught to do – to ignore the negative emotions as something unhealthy and replacing it with something of the opposites. Freedom is when we faced what is within us and through understanding the root cause of it, the old idea is released from us. I can’t release the emotion. The emotion releases me.

    To be more accurate, the idea that I am holding on is released from me, and thus the freedom from pain. That is true freedom, not by my own control of changing the situation. That is the way of the ego. I can’t know you, neither can you know me, except me knowing myself – for that I have to be authentic with the way I solve my emotion.

    There is no way I can lie to myself, except me thinking that I can. In doing that I am only at my own disadvantage and imprisonment of the ego. I trust your journey will be of true authenticity and love.

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