Category: General

Just came back from watching the movie Avatar. The computer graphics are superb – beyond words and expression. While enjoying the movie, something strikes me deeply – both the human and avatar world reflects my inner world – the egoic and the wise.

The ego has a destructive and wastage nature. It could not help not doing that for that’s its nature. So long as I am unaware of its nature I will express exactly what the ego is. I can’t not be angry while I am angry unless for that instant the wise part of me wakes up from that dream. I can’t not be destructive either. My greed for more and the aversion for not getting what I desire is in constant calling. This is my dream. I am the dreamwalker in this world of fear until I get a wakeup call away from this dream.

In this dream, the world I perceive is dangerous and harmful. I see everyone taking advantage of me, as if attacking my vulnerability. For that  I have to keep defending myself not to be hurt mentally or emotionally. I am holding an invisible mask of pretense most of the time. I am never at peace, constantly on alert, putting up a looking-good front. I avoid conflicts to protect myself. I am in constant lack, wanting more and amassing more. I am numb to stress as it becomes a part of me. My self-security is easily triggered and threatened by things around me.

Whenever I wake-up from this dream, the world does not seems to be what I thought. This world and the other seems in perfect opposite. Everything is possible, and there is a feeling of abundance everywhere. In this space there is simplicity – everyone is simply perfectly who they are. Their anger is just an expression of calling for love. Their desire is an expression of needing to be understood. They are just yet to wake-up, and there is no hurry, for their time will come. For me, there is just eyes of compassion, of love for everything. There is no eagerness to reach anywhere. There is contentment in each moment of being. Freedom and love is my essence. There is an infinite intelligence in this essence. and healing is its property.

The language I speak comes from understanding. Every word I express is from the level of authenticity. There is no harboring of fear or pretense except openness and love. Every experience is an experience of wisdom.

I am toggling in both worlds and I saw myself more in the wake-up world.  The reverse seems to be occurring. The dream in my sleep is more stressful. Which is real?

Into eternity, where all is one, there crept a tiny, mad idea, at which the Son of God remembered not to laugh. In his forgetting did the thought become a serious idea, and possible of both accomplishment and real effects.
– A Course in Miracles (T-27. VIII.6:2-3)

It is so funny when I reflected those years where I got pissed off by Christian-like materials with words like Son, God or Holy Spirit which I will just chucked away without questioning. Obviously I was deluded and arrogant. When I was reading the above sentence over my lunch awhile ago, from the 1st of the 7 books of Journey Through the Workbook of A Course in Miracles by Kenneth Wapnick, I was observing the conversation going on in the mind, while concurrently reading the statement. I saw the level of understanding at this point of my life matches the verses that is written. But wait a minute. I am not reading the text literally per se or am I baptized or taken refuge into a certain specific faith that inclines me to believe entirely what I read.

What I was experiencing in that brief moment of reading is the data in me matching what is been read.  It is like a diagnostic program deciphering what it is going through moment after moment. At the end, there is a satisfaction of what has been read. It was indeed a strange experience upon hindsight as there is no me that is doing the work except an automated impersonal momentum. The closes definition of “me” at that moment was the awareness itself.

But there is a stranger experience to that. There is a deeper understanding to what I have blogged prior to my lunch on I am not upset for the reason I think it is. The last sentence from A Course in Miracles rings so clearly to me as if the Holy Spirit or Wisdom is trying to expressed what is been said: You are free to believe what you choose, and what you do attests to what you believe.

The ideas that I have accumulated in the mind throughout the endless journey of life – beliefs that are accumulated from my upbringing, race, culture, education, political, world, religion and spiritual experiences – becomes me. As such what I believe I attest to what I do, in this case, understanding what I read. It was a revelation of some sort. Who “I am” are mere ideas. A very serious one too as it makes me think “I am” real.

Interestingly the last sentence attracted me: In his forgetting did the thought become a serious idea, and possible of both accomplishment and real effects. Let me share what I understood from my past experiences (ideas) :) . I am always amazed by the word sati in Buddhism. All the while I have been taught its translation was “mindfulness”. Later in my life I was been given a new insight into the meaning – not to forget. Whenever I remember not to forget I am propelled into the present moment recognizing that awareness is already doing itself rather than awareness or mindfulness is my doing.When I was reading the last sentence the word forgetting matches the data bank of not to forget – like a search engine. Again, what I believe from my direct experience attest to what I read.

The next inspired sentence was “… the thought become a serious idea” – this is what I experienced in my dream in the blog The World, an Illusion – Unveiling the Truth – I realized that when I am unaware, unconscious to my presence, the thought of that moment turns into a reality, a world of its own, in a holographic experience. This is what dreams are. And it can be a serious matter as everything to me at that time becomes vivid, and, tangible – I experienced everything as seriously real! All because of an idea of that moment!

Coming to the last sentence: … and possible of both accomplishment and real effects. This reminds me of what was said in the book Your Immortal Reality – using illusion to get out of illusion. Though ideas or views are basically product of mental illusion, yet it is also ideas that bring us out of it. Thus it is appropriate to recognized what are Right Views and Wrong Views. In the Noble Eightfold Path the Buddha put Right Understanding or Right View as the first. Right view can bring about accomplishment into the undoing of the Ego. And yet, views can also be a nightmare leading to causal relationship of past, present and future depicted by the meaning real effects – if it is a wrong view.

Indeed wonderful!